


How You Get The Boy

by BubbleGomme



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Physical Abuse, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:40:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 44,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28190286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubbleGomme/pseuds/BubbleGomme
Summary: To most people, he seemed to have it all. A young executive working in a successful company, surrounded by family and friends... What's not to like ?Well, if you scratch the surface, you'll see that Reiner Braun is fed up with most of it. He simply thinks of himself as an unlucky individual : his love life is a disaster and it becomes more and more apparent to him that his career choice is questionable.So what happens when a ridiculously handsome guy is hired at his workplace ? A lot.(Basically everyone and their mother adores Bert in this fic. Who doesn't, tbh ?)
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Levi/Erwin Smith, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Porco Galliard/Pieck, Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover, Sasha Blouse/Connie Springer
Comments: 128
Kudos: 212





	1. Exasperation

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys ! So this is meant to be taken as a prequel to the plotless "7:15" fic, for those who have already read it. It's about how Reiner and Bertholdt met and the slow, detailed building of their relationship. Fasten your seatbelts because it's going to be an emotional roallercoaster ride. There'll be angst and joy and heartbreak and fluff and... well, you get the idea. :)
> 
> Enjoy and stay safe, above all ! ^_^

_Fuck._

Reiner surfaced from his slumber with a thumping headache and a murderous glare on his face. Whoever thought of beginning construction work with a pneumatic drill was going to regret it immensely. He let his numb body sprawl all over the bed, squirming and stretching like a bug that had just been crushed disrespectfully. Last night had been undoubtedly one of the worst ones yet due to annoying pieces of shit partying for God knows how long while he had tried to go to sleep early for work, for once. He had been on leave for a month and it was already over, like it had never happened to begin with. It was so abrupt and truly depressing, though it had been enjoyable spending most of his time with his mother, Gabi and Falco. Now, it was in the bleak December that he was going to get his ass out of bed and meet his colleagues again.

Annie, Porco, Marcel, Pieck, Hitch, Magath...

He would not dare to offend them but right now, he would choose his bed in a heartbeat.

A blinding beam of morning light made him raise his hands defensively to his groggy face as though it had condemned his thoughts of a lie-in and overall laziness. Reiner capitulated, huffing and puffing before stretching his tired limbs one last time and crawling out of his bed. He felt so heavy and woozy, but a shower would probably make things right.

He shuffled along the way to the bathroom and found himself face to face with his pitiful reflection on the mirror. As expected, he looked extremely pale and tired. No, he looked like shit. He washed his face thoroughly before hopping in the shower stall, letting hot rivulets of water stream down his chiseled body and getting rid of any signs of fatigue. That was the intention, at least.

He returned to his bedroom with a white towel wrapped around his waist and peered through the window shutters with considerable annoyance. That damn public worker really had a thing for his jackhammer, huh ? Couldn’t someone in this world give him a fucking break ? He managed to hear his phone buzzing through the relentless noise and picked it up from the nightstand. It was Jean. Better be worth it.

Jean - **7:23 AM** : Hey. U up for drinks tonite ? Marco is down too. :)

Reiner - **7:23 AM** : Hey. Depends on how beat I am. I’ll keep you posted, though.

Jean - **7:24 AM** : Aight, but we need to catch up. Have fun at work, btw. See ya xx

Reiner - **7:24 AM** : Thanks for reminding me !

Jean - **7:24 AM** : ;)

How could Jean even think about getting shitfaced at such an hour ? It was beyond incomprehensible for Reiner, but the thought barely lingered in his brain as he was undeniably convinced he could use a strong pick-me-up after work. The day promised to be downright atrocious, you might as well anticipate it.

He was about to lay down his phone and start getting dressed when he felt a persistent vibration on his hand. He looked at his phone. Mom. What was up with everyone being all over him and on the day he would go back to work too ? His expression slightly softened upon such an interrogation. There was just no way he could be annoyed at his mother. Karina Braun was one of the sweetest and strongest women to ever grace this dreary, sinful world. She had never given up on him and valued his education above all things, even after her deadbeat of a husband left her in deep shit with bruises galore and countless bills to pay. Thank goodness he had disappeared God knows where and never came back.

Reiner clenched his free hand into a fist as dreadful flashbacks swarmed in his head. The man could drop dead and he would not care in the slightest. There was no hope for redemption for trash like that, and certainly no time to grant him or even refer to him as a father. He shook his head dismissively. There was also no point in bringing more negativity into his life. He ultimately swiped the green icon to the right.

‘’Hello ? Mom?’’

‘’Reiner !’’ The voice said loudly and cheerfully. ‘’My sweet boy. How are you doing ?’’

‘’Great, thanks. How are you holding up ?’’

‘’Just a- a little worn out and my back still hurts a little but I’m fine dear.’’ Karina replied in a low tremulous voice.

‘’You don’t sound too good to me.’’ Reiner stated, his voice laced with concern. ‘’Want me to stop by the house ?’’

‘’Oh, don’t trouble yourself, my son. Gabi and Falco are keeping me company so I-I’ll be alright.’’ Reiner could hear the continuous tremors in her voice. It was worse than he had thought.

‘’You sure ?’’

‘’What ? I can’t hear you, sweetie. What is that noise ?’’ She sounded just annoyed as he was.

‘’Yeah, wait. Damn guy down the street is doing fucking construction work at 7.’’ Reiner grumbled, while heading to the living room to avoid the commotion.

‘’Reiner, the profanity !’’ A gasp could be heard on the other end of the line. She was mortified.

‘’Yeah, yeah, sorry.’’ He brought a hand to his hair and rubbed it in embarrassment. He forgot he couldn’t afford getting carried away when talking to his mother. ‘’I was saying... are you sure you don’t want me to visit ?’’

‘’Yes, completely. But I do want to see you very soon. I know it’s only been two weeks but I’ve missed you so, so much, so please come home when you have some free time.’’

‘’Yeah, sorry, Mom.’’ A pang of guilt crept its way up to his heart, but he quickly perked up. More family time would make him and his mother happy and less lonely. ‘’Tell you what, I’ll let you know when I can drop by. Probably this week-end. Sounds good ?’’

‘’That is lovely, my son. By the way, are you seeing someone at the moment ? Oh, I do hope to see a handsome young man by your side next time you visit, or for Christmas Eve, and-’’

‘’Mom, please !’’ It was always like this. She certainly didn’t have time to beat around the bush.

‘’I am just saying, sweetie. You need to find yourself an elegant and reliable boyfriend this time around. You’ve been so disappointed by your previous dates and well, it has your mother very worried, but you’re bound to find the one sooner or later, right ?’’

‘’Uh, yeah, but I’m not looking.’’ Reiner sighed. ‘’I’m tired of being played and I want to take some time for myself. You know, just live through the day and stuff.’’

‘’I understand, dear.’’ She sounded a bit let down. ‘’So... you’re okay, then ? I just wanted to make sure...’’

‘’Hey, you know me, I’m fine,’’ he softly exhaled, while briefly looking at the kitchen clock. Crap. Being late on the first day back to work wasn’t a good look. ‘’Mom, I have to go. Don’t push yourself too hard, okay ? And call me if anything happens.’’

‘’Yes, Reiner, I promise. Please take care.’’

‘’Yeah, I will. Love you, bye.’’

Reiner stood still for a couple of seconds. Guilt tormented his brain and heart, and he chastised himself for what he believed to be neglectful behavior on his part. He was presently torn between going back to work or paying a visit to his frail mother, but she had assured him it would all be okay. He just hoped her condition wouldn’t worsen in the next few days.

He heaved yet another sigh : life was a real bitch at the moment, but he had no grave reason to complain either. He had a family. He had his friends. And a nice apartment and a nice car and a...job. It could be much worse. Right...? Hmm. Having a boyfriend, for instance, would disrupt the newfound decent balance he had built for himself. After a failed relationship and a succession of dates that never went beyond the one-night stand stage, he had decided to tone it down for a few months, at the very least.

He returned to the bedroom hurriedly and put on the usual attire for work : white shirt and black business pants. Simple and effective, it didn’t need to be more than that. He ran a hand through his hair and tousled it to make it look hopefully decent enough, took leftovers from last night’s meal in the fridge and left his apartment still so hastily, casting one last envious look at his couch. Soon.

A blast of frosty air almost made him reconsider going out of hibernation, but he had to stop being in denial. There had to be something positive to get out of this day. He walked up to his car and gasped angrily, trying to suppress any form of cursing coming out of his mouth. In vain.

‘’Oh, you fucking sons of bitches.’’ Reiner vociferated.

Bird droppings. Bird fucking droppings were scattered all across the hood of his slick and lustrous black car, his number one prized possession. He looked around and realized the other cars that were parked had come out of this literal shitstorm unscathed. Now he knew why he had skipped Connie’s gambling night party a few months ago : he would have suffered from a crippling debt, considering his luck. Or lack thereof.

Without further ado, he grabbed wet wipes from the glove box compartment and started scrubbing and grumbling and cleaning and swearing until the front was utterly spotless. Levi would have been proud. He just might drop by his bar tonight and get plastered all night long. He settled inside his immaculate car and pressed his forehead against the wheel for a few seconds before getting the engine to start. Okay, at this point, all that’s missing is the traffic being shit.

A few minutes on the road went by and it was just as he had expected it to be : absolute trash. The loud, constant buzzing sound of klaxons filled the air, becoming a migraine-inducing cacophony that only made him want to retreat and go through a period of sick leave. He was starting to be sick of it all. He could feel himself tense up and discern irritation into the rearview mirror.

He had miraculously managed to arrive on time at the destination. Reiner raised his head and cast a blank look at the tall, imposing building in front of him. Paradis Corporation. Home of the latest electronic devices, specialized in technological breakthroughs and renowned all over the country for its smash hit equipment that highly resonated with people. He was one competent piece of this giant puzzle among many others working there and yet, he couldn’t help but feel he was wasting his time.

He had other ambitions. He wanted to become a professional football player but his family had been such a mess the last few years he just had to prioritize it over his dream, which he had put on hold indefinitely. At least his job would secure enough money for a good couple of months, in case the risky career change wouldn’t work.

Reiner sighed for the umpteenth time and parked his vehicle in front of the glass building which had a large logo decorated on it. The Wings of Freedom. It looked nice but somewhat tacky on the other hand. It perfectly captured Magath’s character, imposing and garish. Aesthetics done right, he had said. He walked up to the bright glass doors that served as the entrance, where he spotted a familiar and... unwelcomed figure. The usual green bomber and black pair of jeans, slicked-back hair styled into an edgy undercut, brown piercing eyes and a recognizably mischievous smile. Porco Galliard. The one face he really didn’t want to see first thing in the morning. Damn it, why did it have to be him of all people ? Oh, right. The eternal misfortune.

They had known each other since their childhood yet they knew very little about one another. What Reiner knew was that, for some reason, Porco didn’t seem too fond of him. It was all right because he had found Porco’s lack of sensitivity and manners quite repulsive, even though he was no role model himself. He had noticed a few of Porco’s friendly moments, though they were extremely scarce. He was noticeably better at making hurtful, venomous and obscene remarks or trying to fuck anyone with a pair of legs, be it man or woman.

Such conduct was revolting. This was not the way to approach someone, according to Reiner. First, you had to get to know the person better, complimenting them and earning their trust. Next, you had to humbly ask them out on a date and display your best qualities on said date. This would naturally lead on to other dates, if successful. Then, and only then could you hope to have sex with them. Steamy, passionate love-making. It was pointless to reason with Porco on the matter, though. Been there, done that. Why bother again ? A few months ago, his views were considered as ‘’dusty ass principles from a hopeless romantic’’, after all. So what if he was a hopeless romantic ? The thought quickly irritated Reiner, who was now unconsciously grimacing. It was quickly interfered by an ambient cloud of grey smoke.

‘’Long time no see, Reiner. How have you been ?’’ Porco asked with disinterest, brazenly puffing out toxicity from his lungs. He reeked of cigarette ash and arrogance.

Reiner tried his best not to roll his eyes. Now was not the time to argue with Galliard. He was probably about to seize the opportunity to rile him up, which was not going to happen with him already being on his last nerves. Plus, the day had already been shitty enough as it was, and it had only been an hour or so since he had gotten out of bed.

‘’Never been better.’’ He finally stated, forcing a friendly grin.

‘’Really ? But you look like shit.’’ Porco said blankly then smirked, pointing his cigarette butt at Reiner’s face.

Stay calm. Don't break his nose. Reiner internally screamed. The guy just had a knack for ruining people’s mood, even when it was all an act. And so, as usual, it was best to ignore him in the end.

‘’Hey ! You could at least be happy to see me, Braun.’’ he added with a pout.

Without another word, Reiner headed for the building hall, praying for a redeeming factor once he would get past those doors, hoping for someone or something that would salvage this nightmarish day and quell his exasperation.


	2. Enthrallment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter is up. The program includes a reunion with friends and a new appearance. Who could that be, I wonder ? ;^  
> Enjoy your reading !

The quiet air gave Reiner a moment of respite as he inspected the empty surroundings. Everything was more or less settled in the building. The place was patiently waiting to be crowded with executives flailing about, assigning tasks to each other, carrying paperwork and chatting around the coffee machine before getting through the day. He kept on looking around for a few seconds, taking in the cold, almost clinical atmosphere of the large hall. He had not missed it one bit.

He took a few tentative steps towards the reception desk, which was surprisingly empty as well. That was weird. Usually he would find Hitch perched on her seat, eyes fixed on her computer. She was one of the first faces he would see on work days. She would always have that coy smile and energetic demeanor about her that would at least cheer him up a little. Where the hell was she ? Maybe she had grown tired of it and had decided to stay home. Reiner nodded to himself in understanding then hastily went for the coffee machine at the end of the corridor. Ah, a strong, bitter black coffee. His saving grace. He sighed contentedly at the thought of the hot beverage cleansing his mind and body and giving him the energy he desperately needed.

His deft, eager fingers rummaged through his pockets in search of his wallet. He was about to insert a coin inside the machine when he heard the creaking and ringing of the elevator on his right, like giant church bells tolling in the distance. The metallic doors slightly opened and revealed three distinctive silhouettes. His friends were already here.

  


‘’Hey, it’s Reiner !’’ Pieck exclaimed energetically, though she looked wan and tired. She ran towards him, making him almost expect a hug. Annie and Marcel trailed closer behind, both looking amused.

‘’Hey guys ! It’s been a little while, hasn’t it ?’’ Reiner smiled. Though getting back here wasn’t the most pleasant experience, he was genuinely glad to see them again.

‘’Well, yeah.’’ Annie came closer and strongly nudged him on the stomach, which made Reiner recoil a little. ‘’You could have checked in with us, even if it’s just been a month.’’

‘’She’s got a point.’’ Marcel chuckled lightly.

‘’Yeah, sorry. I kinda needed to refocus on myself and my life. It’s been all kinds of fucked-up, lately.’’ Reiner admitted ashamedly.

‘’You make it sound like you’re fucking sixty and you’ve seen it all. Aren’t you twenty-four or something ?’’

He had not heard Porco’s footsteps approaching at all. He was standing right behind him. When had he managed to sneak up behind him like that ? Had they planned some sort of ambush ? Frankly, the scene looked anything but reassuring.

‘’I’m just saying it’s not been easy. I didn’t want to ruin the mood being with you guys so I thought isolating myself and not doing shit was for the better. What, you’re gonna blame for that ?’’ Reiner asked with slight irritation.

‘’Nope, I get it. That’s actually very sensible coming from you. Just wished you could’ve done that a little longer, you know.’’ Porco replied with a conceited smile.

‘’All right, quit picking on Reiner, Porco. We’ve just gotten here.’’ Marcel remarked gently, which made Porco cross his arms and look away like a discontented child would.

‘’Anyway,’’ Reiner sighed. ‘’Have you guys seen Hitch around ? She’s usually the first one to be here.’’ Reiner asked innocently while sipping on his hot coffee. He raised his head again and frowned at the sight of their faces. They all looked dumbfounded, even Marcel. He could not help but reflexively mimic their reactions.

‘’What ? Did I say something funny ?’’

‘’Uh... are you kidding ?’’ Annie frowned in disbelief.

‘’Well, that explains why you’re gayer than gay underneath that straight-looking air about you. I love that for you, though.’’ Pieck added amusingly while tapping him on the shoulder. Porco couldn’t help but snort at the remark, while Marcel looked rather unimpressed.

‘’Huh ? I don’t get it. Something wrong with her ?’’

‘’Well, you could say that since she got knocked up by fucking Marlowe. That’s very wrong.’’ Porco stated. ‘’She’s expecting twins. She won’t be back till next year, or so I’ve heard.’’

‘’Ah. Really ? That’s amazing news !’’ Reiner grinned before correcting himself. ‘’The pregnancy, I mean.’’

‘’Wait. You mean to tell us you never noticed the bump ? It was blindingly obvious.’’ Annie deadpanned.

‘’No ? I didn’t think it was as obvious as you guys, apparently. But hey, what do I know ? I’m fucking gay.’’ Reiner rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders.

‘’It’s all right.’’ Marcel reassured him. ‘’What matters now is we’re left without a receptionist but we met Magath on the upper floor and he got that covered, from what I gathered. Guess we’ll know more about it today.’’

‘’So we’re getting someone new on the team, right ? That’s exciting as hell !’’ Pieck exclaimed, her eyes shone bright with curiosity.

‘’Well, we don’t know who we’re gonna get. Hitch was kind of annoying but she was getting shit done, at least.’’ Annie remarked. That was true. Hitch had made their lives way easier with administrative work and organizing their schedules and eventual appointments with business partners and all that headache-inducing stuff. And she was just so much fun to hang out with too. Reiner was going to miss her.

‘’Well, whoever it is... I hope they are hot.’’ Porco added with a smug expression, making Reiner snap out of his thoughts and almost unconsciously bringing his hand to his forehead. It was crazy how anything the guy spewed out of his mouth was bound to be facepalm-worthy.

‘’How about them being competent ?’’ Marcel questioned with his arms crossed. Porco hummed in complete disinterest.

‘’That would be best, yeah. On second thought, I don’t really care who it is. I’ll just adapt and do my own shit, as usual.’’ Annie stated blankly, hands clasped at the back of her head.

‘’Oh, come on, Annie. Don’t you wanna know ?’’ Pieck’s voice was still laced with curiosity. ‘’I bet the new guy will be hotter than your soft boyfriend, honey.’’ She added with sass.

‘’I’d consider watching my mouth if I were you, Pieck. You’re treading on mighty thin ice here.’’ Annie said, with a stern, icy look on her face. Welp, mentioning Armin was not Pieck’s brightest idea, Reiner thought. Annie was infuriated and her ice-queen mode was activated.

‘’Ooooh, scary.’’ Pieck replied teasingly. Either the girl wasn’t afraid of anything or she didn’t value her own life very much.

‘’How do you even know it’s a guy ?’’ Reiner asked quizzically, his voice piqued with interest.

‘’Feminine intuition, I guess.’’ Pieck brought a finger to her lips. ‘’Well, what do you think, Reiner ?’’

‘’ I don’t have a clue. I’m way too shattered to even think right now. Just want to go home and get, like, four hours of sleep.’’

‘’Can’t disagree with you on that one, actually.’’ Porco yawned.

They went back to catching up on each other for a few minutes until they heard the loud rumbling of footsteps against the spotless linoleum. Reiner would have recognized those angry, decisive steps anywhere. It was definitely Magath.

He appeared a few feet away from them, looking as rigid and inflexible as ever.

‘’Good morning. Meeting room. Now.’’ He uttered almost contemptuously before heading to said meeting room.

‘’Jeez. Good to see you too, boss.’’ Porco muttered, rubbing the nape of his neck in irritation.

‘’Some things never change.’’ Marcel added with a light laugh.

They all left the hallway dragging their feet to the meeting room, where Magath had waited for them. He looked like he was about to murder someone dressed in his cold gray business suit, holding a sharp blue pen that was gliding in between his fingers. They all sat around the oval table as far as they could from him. Leaving the ringside seats next to him for Reiner and Marcel. The latter did not really seem to mind but Reiner looked utterly unprepared and unamused, unlike some of his comrades.

‘’All right, so I hope you enjoyed your little holiday because Christmas approaching means we’ll have to work twice as hard, and that’s putting it mildly.’’ Magath delivered the news resolutely. Reiner wanted to scream but restrained himself. In fact, no one dared to move a single muscle, which encouraged their boss to pursue his monologue. ‘’I’ll be quick about it. You guys will remain at your respective positions since your work was actually effective if we look at last year’s results.’’ he said while pointing at the white board on the side behind him. It was full of numbers and arrows, something only he could manage to decipher. ‘’That means that Pieck will carry on as the Marketing Manager,’’ he added, now directing his finger to the dark-haired woman. ‘’Your sagacity and eccentric mind will continue to help us implementing new ideas. That 3D Maneveur Gear you came up with was a smash thanks to you.’’

‘’Well, thank you, boss. I’m honored.’’ Pieck responded seductively to the compliment. It made Reiner and Annie want to throw up.

‘’Annie, you’ll still lead the Administrative Center. I’m counting on you to assist us with all the paperwork and your intel. You won’t be alone for the task, but I’ll broach the subject later.’’

‘’No problem.’’ Annie remained impassive.

''Then we have Marcel and Porco as our accountants. Since you guys are so good at mathematics and stuff.’’ Magath laughed to himself, but that attempt at what could be assumed as humor fell flat and did not faze any of the brothers. They could only nod in embarrassment, even Marcel. The atmosphere was ridiculously uncomfortable. Reiner tried hard not to laugh as beads of sweat started to trickle down his neck. Magath turning to face him made it worse.

‘’Hm, and you, Reiner... you’ll remain the head of the R&D department. We need your eye on the market to maintain competitiveness. Your leadership and management skills are always welcomed, as well. Keep it up and you'll be promoted to the position of Vice President sooner than you think.'’

‘’Thank you, Mr Magath. I won’t fail you.’’ Reiner answered seriously. It felt great to be regarded as a competent individual in the eyes of someone so demanding. One side-eye look made him enjoy the view of Porco biting his lip in annoyance.

‘’I hope you won’t, for your own sake. Last but not least, as you may know, I’ve granted Mrs Dreyse an extended break for her pregnancy so I had to find someone to fill the vacant post as receptionist while you were enjoying your vacation. We won’t get anywhere without one, after all,’’ Magath remarked, everyone around the table nodded. ‘’It hasn’t been easy but I found this one man who seems to tick all the right boxes. He should be here any minute, now.’’ Magath pursued while taking a look at his luxurious silver watch.

Reiner took a sly glance at Pieck which expressed sheer admiration, and she proudly reacted to it, giving him one of her ‘told you so’ looks. Damn, that feminine intuition thing was the real deal, huh ?

A timid knock at the door made the whole team snap out of their thoughts and passive stances.

‘’Ah, speak of the devil and he shall appear ! Come in, Mr Hoover !’’ Magath exclaimed loudly enough for the person respectfully waiting outside the room.

Their eyes furtively turned to their side, all set on the door that slowly and silently opened, revealing an extremely tall, dark-haired man.They all looked at him with complete astonishment.

‘’Good morning. Am I interrupting ?’’ The tall brunette asked softly, almost in a whisper as though he were a thief who had just snuck into someone’s house late at night.

‘’No, it’s fine. Please come introduce yourself to the team.’’ Magath suggested, indicating the spot next to him and Marcel. The boy looked utterly distressed as he advanced near the back of the room, but who could blame him ? Reiner gazed at his friends. Annie looked unsurprisingly unfazed and Marcel poiltely smiled at the man. Nothing out of the ordinary for them. He then turned his attention to Porco and Pieck. They would both normally mutter shady nonsense and giggle in such a situation, but no reaction of the sort was to be seen. They both looked actually content and... wait- was Porco drooling ? It looked almost invisible but that was unmistakably a trickle of saliva. Yuck. Reiner shook his head and turned his attention back to the tall brunette.

The devil ? Magath must have smoked some good shit before the meeting because he was looking at the purest, most handsome angel he had ever seen in his twenty-four years of existence. The precious-looking boy had shiny dark hair, a gorgeous complexion, mesmerizing olive eyes that perfectly complimented the rest of his gentle features, an aquiline nose that added exoticism to his flawless face and sweet, enticing pink lips. He also wore a fancy dark blue suit that hugged his lanky figure beautifully. However, what was more striking was this peculiar air of humility about him. It was unusual for the blonde hunk to see; it completely stood out amongst all the self-centered dummies he had previously hooked up with. Frankly, it was outrageously sexy to him.

Reiner swallowed. It had been a hot minute since the new guy’s arrival and he had already begun simping so hard for a boy he had barely laid his golden eyes upon. His prayers had actually been answered : someone had managed to come and save what could have almost been labeled as a worst day ever. Reiner decided to pray some more. He closed his eyes and mustered all the faith he could, praying hard for him to be gay. And a bottom.

‘’Good morning, everyone. My name is Bertholdt Hoover and I’ll be working as the new receptionist in your company. I’ll do my best to honor Mrs Dreyse’s work and help you to the best of my abilities. It’s a pleasure to meet you.’’ Bertholdt said while performing a humble, polite bow to his colleagues, who still looked too captivated by the vision of their new workmate to say a word or react to the excessive action. He was smoldering hot.

Bertholdt ? What an unusual name. Was he German ? Or rather somewhere from the South, considering his Mediterranean features ? Reiner was so deeply lost in his thoughts he had barely realized he was staring at Bertholdt the whole time.

He flinched when the attractive brunette’s head slightly turned left in his direction. He hoped Bertholdt had not noticed his golden eyes were uncontrollably eyeing him from head to toe. At least, what was thankfully certain to remain imperceptible was the tingling, burning, pulsating feeling drumming against his chest and stomach.

Reiner shook his head and hopelessly tried to regain focus, as he knew well enough his eyes were filled with utter enthrallment.


	3. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, lovely readers ! 
> 
> So I kind of forced myself to write this chapter and publish it on this special day, lmao. Because yep, it's our boy's birthday today. Happy birthday, Bertholdt ! <3  
> My all-time fave anime character, without the shadow of a doubt.  
> Aside from being this talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing and totally unique character, I also relate a lot to his quiet and introverted nature, tbh.  
> For the manga readers/Bert stans, let us pray for more Bert in Chapter 136. We need MORE. 
> 
> Anyway, on with the third chapter ! Reiner is exposed in this one. Bloop.  
> (Btw, no offense to the Leos reading through the chapter, lmao. I love y'all. I'm about that Capricorn supremacy life since it just so happens that I'm a Cap just like Bertl, yaasss. ;^)

Half a day had gone by and the building was already bustling with incessant activity as numerous employees were already hard at work, thinking about ways to market new products and meet the deadlines. One could see the sheer pressure and anguish on their faces as they had to come through for Christmas season, which was only three weeks away. The tranquility that had reigned in the morning had now been replaced by a climate of restlessness. Reiner had chosen to seclude himself from all the stress and the agitation. Peace and quiet were required to work efficiently, he had thought, and he could not allow Magath to come down on him on the first day. He had thought it would work, at least.

The soft whirring of his computer brought him back to his senses and made him realize his attention had been completely absorbed by something beyond the screen in front of him. He shook his head to dispel the state of hypnosis he had found himself in. How long had he been daydreaming ? Why was he so out of it ? Bertholdt. Bertholdt was the answer. Reiner was entirely convinced he had never seen a more handsome and wholesome man in his life. Sure, he had dated cute guys but Bertholdt... he was otherwordly. Oh, how he would love to carry those interminable legs to his bed and hear the beautiful sounds that could come out of that kissable mouth. And those priceless, entrancing emerald green eyes... How he would love to get lost in them while being-

‘’Damn it,’’ Reiner muttered, rubbing the colossal swelling in his pants. A mix of pleasure and disgust crossed his face due to the impure thoughts invading his mind, but it could not be helped. His member was aching. It had been a little while, after all. Not that jerking off was unpleasant but he needed more than the friction caused by his own hand. He needed the warmth of a tall, tanned, supermodel body against his own. He raised his head and looked at the glass window to his right, where his reflection eyed him contemptuously. He could distinguish a pale red tint beneath his eyes and a stream of sweat drops trickling down from both temples to his neck. Goddamn it, those windows were unneccessarily reflective and made him look like an animal in heat. His annoyance was quickly alleviated by the loud beeping sound of a notification on his phone. A text from Annie.

Annie - **3:29 PM** : Break time, we’re in the hall. Are you coming ?

Reiner - **3:29 PM** : Yeah, in a minute

Annie - **3:29 PM** : K

Reiner took a deep breath and headed to the elevator next to his office, gathering himself on the way before inevitably eyeballing his new workmate from head to toe. He could hear the gang laughing and scheming well before the elevator doors opened on the first floor. There they were, near the water dispenser and a few feet away from... Bertholdt. Apprehension made Reiner’s hair stand on end. He never had any problem approaching a guy he liked and was pretty confident about his looks as well, so why did he feel so... nervous, now?

‘’Well, well, well. You were actually working hard up there ?’’ Porco asked, feigning surprise. The question made the receptionist look their way for a brief moment.

Reiner had not intended to ignore the question at first, but everything around him seemed so inconsequential compared to the marvelous sight he was presently enjoying, even though there was barely anything to enjoy. Bertholdt was simply working his files with intense concentration. Yet, something about him currently wearing glasses and adjusting them as he fixed his gaze intently on the computer felt extremely compelling and hypnotic. Reiner simply could not take his eyes off him. All his senses unanimously converged towards the attractive and unperturbed brunette, to such a degree that it took him a while to notice Bertholdt was not the only person in the hall and that Porco was starting to make fun of his persistent staring.

‘’Hey, snap out of it, Reiner,’’ Porco playfully smirked. ‘’The way you’re looking at him makes it a little obvious you want to fuck him hard.’’

‘’Tch. You’re one to talk, horndog,’’ Reiner hissed. ‘’I’m just checking if the guy is as serious as he says he is.’’

‘’Right, right.’’ Pieck teased.

‘’Hey, not you too !’’

‘’Then, you won’t mind if I talk to him a little, I guess ?’’ Porco asked. The sudden twinkle in his eyes was worrying.

‘’Sure, go ahead.’’ Reiner replied unshakably. It was hard trying to remain unbothered, especially when he was actually seething deep down inside. Now all he wanted to do was to wring Porco’s neck on the spot.

‘’Alrighty, then.’’ With a hand running through his slicked back hair and the biggest smirk on his face, Porco headed closer to the reception desk where Bertholdt focused his absolute attention on paperwork.

Annie had tried to stop him by telling Marcel to ‘’keep your brother in check’’ but even he thought it was pointless trying to hold him back. Reiner stood still and nervously waited for the scene to unfold, hoping the brunette would be impervious to Porco’s charms. Sure, it was not cool to wish misfortune upon others but neither was that dummy’s overconfidence. They all kept whispering and eagerly waited from a distance until his first move.

‘’Hey, there. You doing okay over here ?’’

‘’Mm ?’’ Bertholdt turned his head away from the computer. ‘’Oh, hello, Mr Galliard. Yes, there are a lot of things to cover but I’m managing, thank you.’’ A sweet smile caught Porco off guard.

‘’Uh, that’s...cool. Say, how about taking a break with us ? Your head must be spinning with all the damn information.’’

‘’Thank you but I’m fine. I have a lot of catching up to do with what Mrs Dreyse was working on.’’

‘’All right, then after work ? There’s a nice place I know, where we can have a lot of fun.’’

That bastard. Reiner could have sworn the idiot had licked his lips in anticipation. He was not beating around the bush, as expected of him.

‘’Th-That sounds fun, Mr Galliard,’’ Bertholdt stammered for a few seconds, visibly getting uncomfortable. ‘’Unfortunately, as I have told you, I-’’ 

"Yeah, yeah, you got work. I got it.’’

"I-um, sorry...’’ Bertholdt shamefully lowered his face.

Reiner wondered whether the brunette understood the implications of Porco’s advances or if he was just naturally oblivious to any attempts at flirting. Judging by his apparent lack of self-confidence and his innocent demeanor, it was obvious the boy did not even think someone would desire him or even take up the time or energy to initiate a conversation with him. He was a whole enigma. The thought only made Reiner even more eager to get to know his handsome coworker.

‘’It’s okay, don’t beat yourself up for it. We can do this another time, there’s no rush.’’ Porco adopted an empathetic tone. ‘’Anyway, what are you doing exactly ?’’

Fake concern, just great. Reiner was now ticked off and hoped Bertholdt would not fall for this pure comedy. He had to be protected from Porco’s uncouthness.

‘’He’s not much of a talker, is he ?’’ Annie wondered. ‘’I totally get him, though.’’

‘’Well, can you blame him ? He’s dealing with an ape. I’d want to nod and smile too, if I were him.’’

‘’Oh my. Do I detect jealousy, Reiner ?’’ Ah, Pieck and her endless teasing. You just had to have an effective comeback ready for each of her remarks.

‘’Jealous ? And why would I be jealous of fucking Porco ? The guy’s as dumb as a brick.’’ Reiner hissed again. That was half true. Indeed, there was no denying that he was stupid but it would be bad faith to say the guy did not have the looks going for him. He was pretty damn good-looking and could be considered a serious threat, even though Reiner did not doubt his own potential of attraction.

‘’I wish I could defend him, but...’’

‘’There’s nothing to defend here, Marcel.’’ Annie deadpanned. Ouch. Reiner merrily agreed, however.

Porco went back to them as though he had heard the little jab intended for him. Reiner could see through the usual smugness that he seemed defeated. That served him right for trying too hard.

‘’Well, he’s a tough one but I’m not giving up.’’ Porco sighed. ‘’He’s so serious and way too much of a brainiac, though. Could hardly understand what he was saying.’’

‘’Why am I not surprised ?’’ Annie said, which earned her a glare from Porco. He did not dare go past that point, though. He understandably cared for his life.

‘’I can already tell he’s a Cap, then.’’ Pieck gleefully stated.

‘’A what ?’’ Reiner asked, dumbfounded.

‘’A Capricorn, silly. You know. Shy, introverted, overly serious, has trust issues and stuff.’’

‘’You believe in that shit ?’’

‘’Well yeah. I mean, you’re a Leo and you’re a proud, extroverted, possessive, jealous, dumb stud. It’s totally legit.’’ She added with a gentle yet sneering laugh.

‘’The fuck did you just say ?’’ Reiner raised his voice and shot her a glare. His sudden burst of anger had drawn the brunette’s attention for a brief second. Oops. Now, one of the first impressions you’ve given him is that of the angry guy. Well done, Reiner.

‘’Hey, don’t get mad at me. It’s astrology’s fault, not mine.’’

‘’Ah, whatever. Let me just go back to work.’’

Reiner heaved a sigh, exhausted by the hyperactivity of the gang. That was enough interaction for the day. He proceeded to the elevator without looking back and retreated back to his office, where he finished most of the work he had already started.

He had at least managed to make a to-do list for tomorrow, keep an eye on developing trends from the competition and scribbling new ideas for brand new products. One look at his phone told him he had not even realized two hours had already passed and thus, he had decided to call it a day. Fucking finally. He could finally get home and threw his tired self onto the sofa without having to move a single muscle. Well, that’s what he had initially hoped for but drinks were waiting. Besides, Jean and Marco were back from their little trip together. He could not pass up the opportunity to see them again.

The thought of getting hammered with his friends kept his spirits up and brought a dorky grin to his face. He made his way to the elevator again and back to the hallway on the first floor where Bertholdt was still head deep in paperwork. He was still so focused on his work Reiner had no clue how he could do it.

He walked closer to the reception desk, dread overwhelming him and messing with his brain. It could probably be seen on his face, anyway. He was about to have the first interaction with Bertholdt, and that could not be messed up. Okay. Don’t be awkward. Just tell him to enjoy his evening or something.

‘’Hey, uh, Bertholdt-’’ Reiner paused, chastising himself for being exactly how he did not want to present himself. ‘’You’re still working ? It’s 6PM already. You should go home.’’ Did that come off too harsh ?

‘’Oh, Mr Braun ! I-I’m almost done,’’ Bertholdt paused, holding a pile of papers with a trembling hand. ‘’I just need to organize your schedule for the end of the month along with the others. It shouldn’t take more than an hour, really.’’

Reiner’s golden eyes slightly widened at the sight of Bertholdt’s unbelievably cute smile and overall nervousness, not to mention the sound of his last name being so tantalizing on his lips. He guessed it would have to wait before being called Reiner. Just Reiner. He would probably combust on the day that would happen. The tall, lanky brunette was now profusely sweating and kept his hands below the white wooden circular desk so as not to show more signs of anxiety.

‘’All right. Just- don’t overexert yourself. I get that it’s your first day and all... but you should take it easy. We wouldn’t want you to be on leave a few days after joining us, now would we ?’’

‘’You’re right. I’ll be more careful. Thank you for the advice, Mr Braun.’’ Yet another smile that made his heart melt. Please stop.

‘’Ah, uh, don’t mention it, i-it’s nothing, really.’’ Reiner stammered. Ending this conversation to prevent any further embarrassment would be a good idea, he thought. ‘’Well, uh, I’m off. Have a nice evening, Bertholdt. See you tomorrow.’’

‘’You too, Mr Braun. See you tomorrow.’’

Reiner made for the exit and exhaled a sigh of relief once he reached past the sliding doors. He simply could not help but perform a happy dance with arms and legs flailing in all directions - out of Bertholdt’s field of vision, of course - the second he exited the building. He had done it. He really had done it. And it was not even that bad too. He felt like a kid who had just trounced anyone on a hard test at school, and was now eagerly waiting for the next one. It felt good.

He kept on dance-walking to his car, humming nonsense about how he had finally managed to talk to his lovely dark-haired dream while starting the engine.

Tonight was particularly pleasant while driving beneath a starry sky full of promises and past Christmas decorations lighting up the crowded city streets. He had initially thought Trost was a bland town but come nighttime, it was nothing less than a pristine, polished jewel as the street lights shone brightly and illuminated the canals.

It had taken him ten minutes to arrive to Levi’s bar and from the spot where he had decided to park his car, he could see the place was completely packed with customers, most of them being regular drunkards. He had not expected the place to be so full on a Wednesday night but he would certainly not mind the noise, after being isolated in his office for most of the day. Who cared, anyway ? Beers were calling to him. With that in mind, he pushed the door and entered a realm of insanity and happiness.

‘’Hey, Levi. How you doing ?’’

‘’Hey, blondie. Good.’’ The man uttered nonchalantly.

Reiner suppressed a laugh as he contemplated the short man’s torso barely poking out from the counter. It got him every single time but one thing he had learned was that it was best not to tick Levi Ackerman off if you wished to live a long and healthy life.

‘’Jean and Marco already there ?’’

‘’Yeah. Behind the stairs and that barrel near the kitchen. Best I’ve got today for you guys.’’ Levi answered, forcefully drying a champagne glass with a white towel.

‘’It’s fine. We’re just here for drinks, anyway.’’

‘’Right. I’ll get to your table later with your beers.’’ Levi cracked half a smile while glancing to his right side.

‘’Geez, you’re in a good mood, today. What could-’’ Reiner stopped halfway through his sentence, noticing a tall, hunky blonde man sipping on his black coffee, eyes looking up and down the newspaper he held with his manly hands. He had his uniform on, too.

‘’Hey, isn’t that Erwin Smith from the police precinct ? Ah, I get it, n-’’

‘’I don’t know. Now scram, brat. I’m busy.’’ The bartender said, shooting Reiner a murderous glare.

‘’Okay, okay, I got it.’’ Reiner amusingly raised his hands up in the air, surrendering to the bartender’s inflexibility. Who would have thought Levi Ackerman of all people would have the hots for... well, someone ? Reiner could hardly believe it, but decided to leave it be. He was in the way.

He elbowed his way through the spot Levi had indicated, inevitably getting bumped by inebriated old men. The place unbearably smelled of alcohol and old people.

‘’Reiner !’’ A voice exclaimed enthusiastically. That do-gooder tone was definitely Marco's.

‘’Guys ! Damn, it’s great to see you again.’’ Reiner’s face lit up at the sight of Jean and Marco sitting together. It had been more than a month since he last saw them, well before their trip to Europe.

‘’Likewise.’’ Jean answered. ‘’Come on, sit your ass down. We’re here to get shit-faced, remember ?’’

‘’Yeah, well, I see you couldn’t even wait for me.’’ Reiner said, pointing at the three emptied beer bottles on his side of the table.

‘’I did tell Jean to wait for you, but you know how he is.’’

‘’Hey, don’t act like you were against it, Marco.’’ Jean shouted drunkenly. Was that the effect triggered by three little bottles ? That man was all talk.

‘’Ah, whatever. Anyway, how was your trip to Europe ? I bet you’ve seen some pretty cool stuff.’’ Reiner smiled.

‘’Yeah, Paris and London have really nice clubs. The people, not so much. Marco was more into museums and old, boring stuff... but you know how he is.’’ Jean barked while putting an arm around Marco’s waist, insisting on his last words but barely triggering a reaction from his boyfriend. He seemed used to it.

‘’You’re impossible.’’ Reiner deadpanned.

‘’Leave me alone. Ah, anyway... how was it, going back to work and all. Exciting ?’’

‘’Yup, I was pissing myself with excitement all day. You see that?’’ Reiner remarked, pointing at his own face and looking extremely blasé.

‘’Well damn. Was it that bad ?’’

‘’Eh, it was fine, I guess. We have a new guy on the team. Receptionist.’’

‘’Nice guy ?’’

‘’Looks like it. Thank God for that. We kinda needed someone a little more normal on our ranks to compensate for Pieck’s weirdness and Porco being annoying as hell, for a change.’’

‘’What did he do this time ?’’ Marco asked amusingly, a hand resting on his chin.

‘’Staring at Bertholdt the whole time, basically eye-fucking him. Then he went on with more of his fucking smutty innuendoes, as usual. The guy didn’t even ask for anything,’’ Reiner spat, disgust written all over his face. He could feel his blood rushing to his head just thinking about it. Sure, Porco was a friend - somewhat - but did he have to fuck any living breathing thing caught by his lecherous gaze ? It was nigh incomprehensible.

‘’Bertholdt ?’’

‘’Yeah, the receptionist.’’

‘’Ah. Well, that Bertholdt fellow must be handsome as hell for Porco to get all hot and bothered like that.’’ Jean said, clasping his hands behind his head. He sounded amused by Reiner’s tribulations.

‘’Yeah, he really is,’’ Reiner lowered his head for a moment and sighed contentedly. His eyes widened the second he saw both Jean and Marco looking right back at him, mouths half-opened, jaws slightly dropped. He suddenly realized the inadvertent nature of his short statement. ‘’I mean, if Porco drools over him, I guess he’s not too bad.’’ Was it convincing enough to cover up his embarrassment ?

‘’Right...’’ Jean muttered while looking dubiously at Reiner. Marco chuckled lightly. ‘’Bro, you sound butthurt. And jealous.’’

‘’Wha- ? No, I’m not. The fuck are you saying ?’’ Reiner retorted irritatingly, losing his temper yet again. It had been the second time he had been called that today and frankly speaking, it was more than enough.

‘’Okay, relax. It’s okay to fall in love and be a little jealous, no need to get all worked up over it. Right, Marco ?’’ Jean asked seductively.

‘’It pains me to say this, Reiner... but Jean is right, for once.’’

‘’See ? So don’t- Hey ! What’s that supposed to mean ?’’

‘’Just... forget it.’’ Reiner looked away, sensing Levi coming with the first round of beverages. First round for him, at least.

‘’There you go. Don’t bother me again, brats. Ask for Petra if you need anything and you better not make a mess like that one time.’’ The short, lean male particularly threatened Jean before going back to the counter where more drunk people waited for more booze.

‘’Oops. Well anyway, cheers to our amazing buddy Reiner !’’ Jean exclaimed drunkenly, raising his bottle from the table. The sight brought an amused smile to Reiner’s lips. ‘’And Bertholdt, also known as the hot-as-fuck new colleague !’’

Way to go to ruin the mood. Reiner felt his mind drift a little with every swig of his beer, effectively quenching his thirst and bringing him in a state of drowsiness. The words from Pieck and Jean kept rewinding endlessly inside his brain.

Was he actually... jealous ? Huh.


	4. Lust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand back with a new chapter. To anyone reading the story, I wish you a happy new year ! A lot of health, happiness and success in whatever you do. Hope it'll be better than last year for all of you.  
> Anyway, this new chap is for my smut lovers, lol. 
> 
> Enjoy your reading ! :)

‘’Do you want it that much, babe ?’’ Reiner gazed down at Bertholdt with lustful eyes.

‘’Yes, Reiner,’’ Bertholdt moaned excitedly, eyes wide open and lips soaking wet. His tongue hungrily aimed for the precious moisture leaking out from the tip of Reiner’s cock. 

‘’Uh-huh. You’re missing something, baby,’’ Reiner said, stepping away from a desperate Bertholdt, whose moaning had now gotten grouchy.

‘’Please, Reiner. Please.’’

Ah, the magic words, at last. How could he say no to that pretty, melodious mouth pronouncing his name so sexily, desperately begging for his manhood ? How could he refuse anything to those pleading, mesmerizing eyes exposing his unquenchable thirst ? Seeing Bertholdt down on his knees, looking a sweaty mess while the fun had barely begun made his cock throb with high intensity. Slutty and submissive, that’s how he liked them. 

‘’Make yourself happy. It’s all yours.’’

There was no need to say it twice as the hot brunette lurched forward with a devious smile and took his entire length in one go before proceeding to salivating back-and-forth motions. Reiner gasped out loud, throwing his head back. Damn, he was talented as hell.

‘’God, you’re really good at this. Keep going,’’ Reiner ordered, getting a muffled moan in response as Bertholdt kept on sucking and slurping his dick eagerly. His technique was faultless, alternating between soft wet licks and frenetic suction that drove Reiner positively crazy.  
Nothing felt as arousing as the action that was currently happening. Now Bertholdt was gagging masterfully on his cock, deepthroating him with astonishing relentlessness. Reiner closed his eyes and let the pleasant sounds guide him to an impending release. No. Not now. He wanted to know what it felt like to hear Bertholdt scream his name and see him lose his mind altogether. Prioritizing Bertholdt’s needs would satisfy his own. Thus, he pulled out of his warm desirable mouth, meeting tired, tender emerald orbs. ‘’All right. Get in position, babe.’’

Bertholdt, as though he had been well aware of the implications, merrily stood up and immediately took his rightful place on the couch. Reiner stared at him lustfully as his knees sank into the piece of furniture, his back flawlessly arched, ready for what was inevitably about to unfold.  
He held his thick, veinous cock into his hand. It was pulsating with painful pleasure. 

‘’Shit, I just can’t deal with you. You’re so fucking sexy, Bertholdt,’’ Reiner whispered, delicately caressing Bertholdt’s asshole, his forefinger wandering up and down his smooth crack. He took the time to catch a glimpse of Bertholdt’s face, which was such a grave mistake to make. Reiner thought he would not be able to contain himself any longer. The poor boy looked so defenseless, akin to a prey caught in a predator’s trap. He was sweating profusely and panting as if he were being dreadfully tortured. Tears were ready to fall down from the corners of his celestial eyes. Reiner paid close attention to his soft whispering. It was faint, but loud enough to reach his ears. Then, he spoke up.

‘’I-I can’t go on like this, Reiner. I need you inside me. Please.’’

‘’I know. I’m getting to it. Just relax, okay ?’’

Bertholdt hardly had the time to nod or even respond in any manner as Reiner briefly blew air into his pink hole before devouring it with unbridled passion. Begging would be a wasted effort, at this point. He was too hungry to be stopped.  
Reiner was barely using his sense of hearing anymore, letting his hot lengthy tongue do all the necessary work instead. Bertholdt tasted indecently amazing. With each mouthful, the ten-minute enterprise felt more luscious and torturous. His hard member couldn’t stop twitching uncontrollably and that was when he had to do it. Now.

‘’I’ll have to endure your sexiness a little longer to keep on eating you out like this but damn...’’ Reiner stood up, positioning himself in front of Bertholdt’s inviting entrance. ‘’I just can’t resist you. But you already know that, don’t you ?’’ He murmured tantalizingly while fondling Bertholdt’s smooth ass cheeks, earning him a suggestive moan from the desirable brunette. 

‘’I can’t resist you either, Reiner. I want you so much.’’

‘’I want you more,’’ Reiner answered, a devilish expression on his face.

The only thing that mattered was to make use of his destructive power to widen the boy’s tight hole and make him go wild. That was how he would reach absolute climax.  
He slowly slid into the brunette’s warm entrance, filling him with indescribable euphoria. Now, all he had to do was to-

It was suddenly pitch black, then blindingly bright. Hazel eyes opened in rapid successive blinks, trying to get accustomed to the intermittence of the light, and then... the unwanted reality sank in. No. No ! Come back. Why ? And he was getting to the best part, too. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Reiner gazed tiredly and dejectedly at his white boxers, stained by wet, sticky pre-cum. It had felt so good...but also quite embarrassing. That was his first wet dream of Bertholdt.  
It had been two weeks since the receptionist began working at the company so Reiner guessed it was only natural to get to that stage, but still...

His numb body did not deter him from accessing the bathroom hastily to find sweet release. He quickly settled on the toilet seat and shut his eyes, getting back to the unfinished business with absolute concentration, his mind conjuring up images of his most favorite kinks and revealing the conclusion of the incomplete dream.  
He saw himself spanking Bertholdt’s supple buttocks, pulling his dark hair, screwing him on all fours, face down and ass up.  
He pumped his cock faster as the visuals were accompanied by the hypothetical sounds the brunette would make while being destroyed. High-pitched whimpers were such a turn-on for him. The friction of his hand burned his dick as he envisioned Bertholdt begging for mercy and moaning about wanting him to go harder and faster at the same time.  
It didn’t take long for him to let the pressure flow as hot white liquid sprung out from his cock and trickled down its sides to his crotch area.

He took a deep breath while looking up at the bathroom ceiling. This was terribly wrong. Bertholdt was no piece of meat. It wasn’t right to jerk off dreaming of him. Or was it normal ? He couldn’t really tell. What he did know was that he had better hurry up and take a shower before work. The wanking session had made him late. Incurring Theo Magath’s wrath was not a good look. 

He had managed to limit the damage while arriving fifteen minutes late. It could have been worse.  
He rushed to the elevator and arrived at his office. The paperwork was scattered all across his desk but he remained unbothered. A little mess wouldn’t kill him.  
Why was he lying to himself ? The place was a fucking mess, and that was his fault.  
A knock at the door made him break out in a cold sweat. Magath would murder him on the spot for being late and for the gigantic mess in the room, and Bertholdt... well, it would be just as scary, especially after dreaming of him in the naughtiest positions. It would be the first time he’d come to his office, too. He was unprepared.

‘’Come in,’’ Reiner shouted, his voice almost cracked.

‘’Um, hello, Mr Braun,’’ And the king of misfortune strikes again. ‘’I’m sorry to disturb you but I have got mail for you. And I have those files you were looking for on the tridimensional equipment sales as well.’’ Oh yeah, he had forgotten all about them. 

‘’Ah, perfect timing. I was about to come down and ask you about them. Thanks, Bertholdt.’’ Reiner grinned.

‘’Oh, it’s nothing, really,’’ Bertholdt blushed. ‘’By the way, I-I brought some coffee for you. Would you... like a cup ?’’ He asked, his head facing the ground. A sight most endearing to Reiner.

‘’With pleasure ! I actually might need a couple to get through the day. Man, I’m beat.’’

Bertholdt chuckled and went out for a moment to take the Thermos from the tray he had brought along with him. He poured Reiner a cup of coffee and proceeded to hand it to him. His hands were shaking. Was he... nervous about being here too ? Reiner had very little time to think about the how or why as electricity coursed through his limbs when their fingers softly brushed each other. The tingling sensation from the touch almost made him laugh awkwardly.

'’Th-thanks,’’ he stammered.

'’Oh, um, don’t mention it. I-it’s nothing,’’ Bertholdt let out a nervous laugh. He was sweating.

And then... nothing. Nothing but silence. The scene was ridiculously cliché and reminded Reiner of those office porn videos he was watching late at night. He almost thought, though a little too hopefully, that a reenactment of his dream was about to happen. There was reason enough to believe so. They were now both blushing, staring intensely at each other and struggling to pursue their conversation any further.  
Fortunately for Reiner, Bertholdt gathered up the courage to break the deafening silence. 

‘’Well, uh... I should get going. I’ll leave the Thermos here in case you want more coffee. Please let me know if there’s anything else I can help you with,’’ Bertholdt said with a toothy grin.

Well, now that you mention it, there is something you could...

‘’I will.’’

Reiner felt an irresistible urge to scream as Bertholdt headed for the door. He couldn’t help but gape at the godly sight before his eyes. 

That. Ass. 

It was exactly the way he had envisioned it in his dream. Without all the fabric, obviously. It looked so firm and juicy despite the slender figure and the tight-fitting business pants only gave it more definition. And yet again, those killer legs were teasing him to no end. They would be the death of him, for sure. Reiner felt his mouth water, though not the unconscious biting of his lower lip.  
He did want to be romantically involved with Bertholdt. There was no question about it. He seemed so pure, kind-hearted and humble but damn... his fine-looking face and voluptuous physique were the cherries on top. A frown appeared on Reiner’s face. He sounded just like Porco. Ew.

He snapped out of his thoughts and flinched a little from his desk when the lean brunette made a quick, unexpected u-turn. He was still blushing.

‘’Oh, I almost forgot. Mrs Leonhart requests your presence at the terrace down the hall, Mr Braun. She said it was an urgent matter.’’

‘’All right, I’ll see her in a bit. Thanks again for the mail and the coffee,’’ Reiner said, a wave of his hand agitating the mail enthusiastically. It earned him a timid smile from Bertholdt in return, before he shut the door and returned to the hall. 

Reiner leaned against his chair and exhaled while looking down at his pair of jeans. Thank goodness he had remained seated. His erection had threatened to pierce through the zipper. He would have to deal with it later, whether in the restroom or as soon as he’d get home. In any case, getting back to work wasn’t as annoying as he had previously thought. He had taken two more cups of coffee from the recipient Bertholdt had left in his office. It was much better than the bland one from the store down his street.  
Furthermore, the caffeine had increased his productivity so much he had not even paid attention to the clock on the wall striking twelve. Lunch break time. But first, Annie.

He got down the hall and entered the terrace, unsurprisingly the most luxurious spot in the company. The place made it look like a resort complex. Another testament of Magath’s extravaganza and obsession with all things flashy.  
It was decorated with artificial palm trees, a small fountain that streamed pristine, plenteous spurts of water and comfortable deck chairs.  
There laid Annie, hands clasped behind her neck, eyes fixed on the glass roof panels. She looked so done with everything. It was Annie summed up in one stance. The scene made Reiner chuckle.

‘’Hey. Wanted to see me ?’’

‘’You took your sweet time,’’ Annie said, without even looking at him. ‘’Sit.’’

Uh, okay ? The cold response made Reiner sweat. He did not know whether he had done something terribly wrong or if that was just Annie being herself, casting her usual murderous looks so gratuitously.

‘’You up for lunch outside ? I don’t know about you but I need air after seeing Magath’s annoying ass and Porco’s punchable face. Burger and fries would be nice.’’ 

‘’God, you fucking scared me. Thought I had fucked up or some shit. But yeah, I’m down.’’

Reiner could only concur. Besides, it had been quite a while since he and Annie last hung out. Just the two of them. Last time he had heard from her was before the summer vacation, when she had planned to visit Armin in Europe for his twenty-first birthday. It would be great to catch up. And hell, a Colossal burger with cheddar-covered fries would hit the spot at the moment.

They headed towards the exit, passing through Bertholdt’s clean desk in the process. He was working so hard, easily more than any of them on their first two weeks. Upon closer inspection, Reiner could see he looked exhausted and it filled him with worry. He needed a break too.  
Reiner ultimately dared to ask and made Annie stop in her tracks.

‘’Hey, uh, we’re gonna go and grab some food outside. Burgers and fries. Do you want to... come along ?’’

‘’Oh. It would have been a pleasure... but I brought my lunch with me for today,’’ Bertholdt said, looking at the blue Tupperware tub sitting on the edge of his desk. ‘’But thank you for the offer, I appreciate it.’’

‘’Sure, no problem. See you later.’’ Reiner smiled.

‘’Later, Bert !’’ Annie coolly exclaimed.

They followed their path to the doors and got far enough from Bertholdt for Reiner to ask Annie. He just had to.

‘’You call him Bert ?’’

‘’Mm ? Well yeah. We kind of bonded because of work and all. Why ?’’

‘’Uh, no reason. Just asking.’’

‘’Mm-mm.’’ Annie hummed sardonically. Reiner felt instant regret. It was bold - and dumb - of him to think he could fool Annie of all people.

They had barely stepped out of the building, already met with an eccentric sight. Goodness, you never have a dull day, here.  
A shiny red limousine was parked down the stairs. It was undoubtedly the tackiest machine Reiner had ever seen in his life, and he had seen a lot of horrors for his young age. The lack of taste was concerning, to say the least. The chauffeur quickly got out of the extravagant vehicle and opened the car door for what Reiner presumed to be his boss. A stylish, dandy-looking man who seemed to be older than what the youthful air about him suggested. He rapidly headed their way, taking the stairs two by two. Who was that oddball ? 

‘’Hello. Are you looking for someone ?’’ Reiner asked.

‘’Why yes. I’m here to see a friend.’’

‘’We can show you around and tell him you’re here, if you want to.’’

‘’That is kind of you but it won’t be necessary. I already know the place, thank you very much. Besides, I’d rather avoid being guided by unrefined commoners. I hope you understand. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go.’’ The man replied contemptuously then disappeared behind the company doors, leaving Reiner totally dumbstruck.

‘’Um... okay, that was weird.’’ Annie remarked, holding back a laugh.

‘’What an ass. Talking as if he’s so much above us and shit.’’ So there was someone way worse than Porco out there ? Wow. Reiner couldn’t believe it.

‘’He probably is.’’

‘’Then who the fuck is he ?’’

‘’Beats me. He must be pretty important. Not as much as my stomach, though. Let’s move.’’ Annie said, hurrying onward.

Reiner slightly trailed behind, still unsettled by this lightning encounter. He couldn’t help but think there was something off about that guy.


	5. Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again with a new chap ! Right before my 27th birthday too, I-  
> So this one may be a little odd, since it's the first one involving different time frames. It's all during the same day, though. There's also angst/mentioned abuse at the end, sadly. Consider yourself warned. ;-; 
> 
> Not overly proud of this one, but there it is. Any feedback, whether positive or negative, is gladly welcomed.^^  
> Anyway, enjoy your reading, as always !

‘’Fo ? F’any fews of Farmin’ ?’’ 

Reiner sputtered, munching on his burger as if he had not eaten in two days. He knew full well the lower part of his face was smeared with mayonnaise sauce and sesame seeds but he couldn’t care less, swallowing the food whole till the bread roll crumbled and barely resembled a sandwich anymore. Not his fault the stuff was disgustingly addictive. Still, he would have to hit the gym and ingest nothing but greens and protein later on to compensate for the unhealthy fat ravaging his stomach. 

‘’In English, please. And wipe your mouth, you pig. Folks are looking your way,’’ Annie sighed, pointing to the napkin on his right side. 

Reiner glanced at the customers patiently waiting for their orders, fixing their gaze on him as though he were some sort of extraterrestrial life form. The fuck were they looking at ? His brow furrowed almost unconsciously, making them avert their prying eyes and bringing a smile of satisfaction to his lips.  
Overly inquisitive people were the worst. He gulped down his iced tea hastily then wiped away the persistent crumbs that hung at the corners of his mouth. Annie’s expression immediately softened.

‘’I was asking you if you had heard from Armin lately. How’s he doing ?’’ Reiner probed carefully.

‘’Fine, I guess. Got a text from him last week. He’s probably having fun chilling with Eren and Mikasa,’’ Annie responded softly. With ears pricked up, one could hear a slight venomous inflexion in her last words. Reiner could only empathize.

The three of them had decided, from one day to the next, to take a gap year and go on a trip to reflect on their ‘potential interests’ as students. Or so Armin had said.  
Reiner recalled that one time when Eren had broken down in high school, whimpering about not knowing what to do with himself. His grades had been abysmal, and studies the least of his worries. And now, he was following in his father’s footsteps, on his way to become a renowned doctor. Of course, he would have struggled without the continuous support Mikasa and Armin provided, as a family would. He was one lucky bastard.

The distant memories had Reiner pondering over his own situation for a moment. He had waited expectantly for his life to take off, to have its own twists and turns but it had either been quite uneventful or messed up, thus far. His genitor had left the family in shambles, making his mother ill and resulting in him passing up the opportunity to be selected by the prestigious Stohess football club. Mom would have been proud, Reiner constantly thought.

He couldn’t have possibly told her she was the sole reason why he had moved on from his childhood dream so suddenly. It was easier to say he just wasn’t interested anymore, and that management was more up his alley. A lie that had crushed any potentialities and made him question his very existence.  
He lightly shook his head, trying to escape yet again from his prison of negative thinking. His boring routine did have some redeeming qualities. Work, gym, sleep, drinks, friends. And now, there was also...

‘’Hello ? Fucking Earth to Reiner !’’ Annie barked, snapping her perfectly manicured fingers right in front of his eyes. 

‘’What ?’’

‘’Jeez, you’re the one starting the conversation then leave me talking to a wall,’’ Annie complained. ‘’You’ve been spacing out and smiling like a weirdo for a good minute, you creep.’’

‘’Sorry, I was just- I was thinking,’’ Reiner replied absentmindedly, barely recovering from his daydreaming.

‘’About what ? Or rather... who ?’’ Annie asked casually, her chin resting on her hand. 

‘’What ? Who are we talking about ?’’ Reiner’s brow furrowed at the sudden interrogation. Her tone of voice had gone from mild irritation to unconcealed playfulness. He was expecting the worst.

‘’Bertholdt.’’

‘’What about Bertholdt ?’’ He inquired, perfectly hearing himself. Oh god, he had not meant to sound this defensive. 

‘’Well, what do you think of him ?’’

‘’What do I think of him ?’’ Reiner repeated nervously, loud enough for the queue of customers to look in his direction once more. ‘’Eh- I don’t know. He gets the job done. He’s nice too, I guess,’’ he added more quietly, feigning disinterest. 

‘’Yeah, he is. That’s not what I meant, though.’’

‘’Then what did you mean, Annie ? This is giving me a headache, for real.’’

‘’He’s cute, isn’t he ?’’ She asked, tilting her head to the side. Of course, this was where she was getting at.

‘’I haven’t really paid attention, honestly,’’ Reiner replied, looking away, ridiculously searching for some focal point in the greasy, nondescript fast-food restaurant. Anything that would save him from opening his mouth any longer since Annie was way too good at cornering people and reveling in their embarrassment. He met her teasing eyes again and wondered why he had even tried to come up with an answer. Her unimpressed look and jaded attitude had made it blatantly clear. She knew.

‘’Liar. You like him.’’

‘’Pfft, what ?’’ 

Reiner flinched, almost spilling the contents of his soft drink on the table. He frowned then barely opened his mouth, keeping the same defensive stance. He found himself trying to organize his thoughts before an incoherent sentence could come out of his mouth, unrehearsed. He had to act and sound natural. ‘’Why would I- ? Just- no. I mean, he’s... damn it.’’

And to think he had considered himself a good enough pretender since high school. That attempt just now had been an intergalactic flop.

‘’Knew it,’’ Annie simply replied, sipping on her iced tea contentedly. Ugh, why did this have to happen ? Reiner felt intense heat rising to his cheeks, sweating and stammering like a helpless, clumsy teenager.

‘’Is it really that obvious ?’’

‘’You’re lucky he hasn’t caught you staring at him yet, if that answers your question. Everyone knows.’’

Reiner swallowed, surrendering to his friend’s clairvoyance. ‘’Fuck. You’re the spawn of the devil, you know that ?’’

‘’Well, I’m fine with that,’’ Annie deadpanned. Of course she would be. With a quick glance at her phone, she added ‘’Are you done ? We have twenty minutes to get back.’’

Reiner nodded tiredly. The greasy smell permeating the restaurant was overpowering and starting to feel quite nauseating, anyway.  
The cold, wintry air positively burned his lungs as soon as they exited the place and stood before the crossing. The main street was madly crowded, he thought, as he watched the pavement teeming with people carrying their bags, probably packed with goods in anticipation for Christmas. His gaze scanned the cloudy sky and fluorescent decorations strung up in the rooftops. The whole scene looked like it was taken straight out from a crappy romantic movie. And yet, he imagined himself wandering around town, fingers intertwined while holding Bertholdt’s hand.

‘’You should ask him out,’’ Annie spoke, pulling him out of his daze.

‘’Come on, Annie, I can’t do that. And he’s probably not gay, anyway.’’

‘’He’s the gayest boy I’ve ever met,’’ Annie giggled.

‘’And how would you know ?’’

‘’Look, I just know. I’ve observed him and and talked with him long enough to know he’s a tall, gay bean. We’re basically a team in the office, remember ?’’

‘’Okay, then... what if- what if he rejects me ? Then what ?’’ Reiner asked with urgency, hurriedly walking onward.

‘’Oh my god, you’re so annoying. So what ? You’ve been dumped so many times I can’t even keep track of the exact number anymore. Aren’t you basically immune to rejection, by now ?’’ 

Reiner grunted. Okay. Was that really necessary ?

‘’Is this your way of giving me a pep talk ? Cause if it is, you can do better,’’ Reiner muttered.

‘’You ought to know by now I don’t pull any punches, best friend or not. So take it as you like. Seriously, though, where has the confident player, whisperer of sweet nothings Reiner Braun from high school gone off to ? Bring him back, you impostor,’’ Annie added mockingly.

Reiner snorted, his features softening at the sound of her light, friendly tone. ‘’Yeah, sorry about that. I don’t know why he makes me so nervous. It’s fucking unlike me,’’ he sighed, his words laced with self-deprecation.

His failed relationships had taken a toll on his confidence level, which used to be notoriously high back then. As they neared the gates of the company, he seriously pondered about how he just couldn’t keep a guy. Honestly, what was the fucking glitch ? His brains ? He was no intellectual but surely no blockhead like, say, Connie or Porco. His attitude ? It’s true he could be unpleasant and intimidating, violent even, but only to those who deserved it. His looks ? Perhaps the whole jock image and his athletic physique somehow tricked them into absurdly thinking he was promiscuous, chasing only after one-night stands. People were unsurprisingly that dumb, he thought. Would Bertholdt think the same ? He hoped the fuck not.

‘’Wait up,’’ Annie lightly held him back by the shoulder. Once they would pass the doors, they would be just a few feet away from Bertholdt. ‘’I’ve got an idea.’’

‘’Oh yeah ? That’s reassuring.’’

‘’Shut up and hear me out.’’

* 

Reiner was pretty sure the damn burger he had gotten for lunch had entirely ruined the rest of his day. The long digestion process had made him so unproductive he couldn’t even remember anything noteworthy right after leaving his office in the late afternoon. 

There he was now, lifting weights at the gym with unconvincing effort. He had dragged himself to the place only because Jean had been so insistent on having a ‘weight-lifting session with his one true bro’. Though he could be the occasional moron, he sure knew how to find the right words. If it weren’t for him, he’d have clearly cloistered himself away with nothing but his boxers on, ordered sushi and played Mario Kart online with random strangers till exhaustion. 

‘’So how is it going ?’’ Jean asked, catching Reiner’s attention. His grey tank top was drenched with sweat. He was actually putting in work, unlike Reiner. 

‘’What is... ?’’

‘’You and that cute coworker of yours, I meant.’’ Back to Bertholdt. Again.

‘’Not again ! Why the fuck has he become the only topic of conversation ?’’ Reiner exclaimed. 

‘’Because... he’s all you’ve been talking about, lately ? It’s been Bertholdt this, Bertholdt that for two weeks now,’’ Jean lightly chuckled, causing Reiner to tighten his grip on the dumbbells and lift them vigorously. He mentally cursed himself for being such an open book. 

‘’I’m a creep.’’

‘’Yeah. Well, if you’re into him, you should move on to the next step cause nothing’s gonna happen if you don’t get off your ass. And don’t give up until you know there’s not a chance. That’s how it went with Marco, at least.’’ 

Huh. Those were wise words coming from him. 

Reiner thought back to what Annie had suggested. A double date with Jean and Marco ? He and Bertholdt were not even a couple ! Yet. Reiner reflected on the half brilliant, half stupid idea. Move on to the next step. Get off your ass. The opportunity was there for the taking. He dropped the weights off and tentatively began, 

‘’Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you something...’’

‘’Yeah ?’’

‘’Do you think we could all... hang out together for a day ? You know, like- you with Marco. Me with Bertholdt. Hypothetically.’’

‘’Attaboy ! I was wondering when you’d ask me,’’ Jean grinned mischievously.

‘’Really ?’’

‘’No. But I’m cool with the idea. I’ll tell Marco about it when I get home.’’

‘’ ‘kay,’’ Reiner mumbled, managing to crack a smile. He picked the weights up, now burning with newfound vigor and motivation.

He was slowly starting to come to terms with the realization that, yes, he liked Bertholdt. The wheels were set in motion and though he wasn’t exactly born under a lucky star, he hoped he would have a chance.  
He kept on exercising, his mind dwelling on the same interrogation. 

What was Bertholdt doing right now ?

*

It was close to midnight. Bertholdt had finally decided to call it a day. He trudged back to his apartment door, almost dropping his satchel off his shoulder in precipitous fashion as soon as his foot hit the hard living-room floor. He was utterly worn out but had no time to complain. It wasn’t his style, and he had completed a good chunk of his work anyway. He had not even treated himself to a break despite Annie’s persistent recommendation to take it easy and Mr Braun inviting him for lunch. He wished he had accepted it, even though junk food repulsed him.

Mr Braun... He was so professional and considerate of his coworkers. And extremely attractive, on top of that. A weary smile came to Bertholdt’s lips, but it then turned into a sad frown. Mr Braun was way out of his league.

Bertholdt shook his head and dragged his exhausted figure to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of cold water. The cool liquid cleared the lump in his throat and stung on his abdomen like electricity as it coursed through his body. He grazed the skin on his stomach lightly, his hand shaking like a leaf swept up by the glacial December wind. 

The bruise hurt so bad. 

The touch made him vividly remember his unwanted and terrifying break in the early afternoon. He had not dared say a word when the man had visited him unexpectedly, luring him into the restroom for what was assumedly a private matter. There, Bertholdt had faced the usual intimidation, the recurrent cold threats, and the beating. The beating was far and away the worst part of it all. Initially, his ‘boyfriend’ had begun slapping him or twisting his fingers whenever he felt a need to assert dominance. But now, the ordeal grew more violent. 

The man would shower him with spit, various insults and unrestrained blows, making sure they could be carefully concealed in the process. And Bertholdt would let him. He would endure the mistreatment.

The assailant had come and gone for about fifteen minutes, and no one had even noticed a thing because Bertholdt had learned to keep his mouth shut and take it all lying down since his childhood years with his parents. He was feeble, indecisive, and had no will of his own to fight back, after all.

Bertholdt put the glass down on the kitchen counter and limped to the bathroom, clutching his wound, blinking back imminent tears. He then turned on the dazzling bathroom light, unveiling luxurious furniture and ornaments that reminded him of all the things this man, the person that had taken him under his wing, had given him. The whole place, the food, the job. Luxury and comfort. 

Pain.

The brunette pulled his shirt up in front of the mirror, sniffling and exhaling a shaky sigh as he finally confronted the bluish discoloration on his tanned skin. The sight made him tremble violently. His gaze lingered on another contusion near his ribcage, this one weeks old judging by its faded brown color. And another one there, on his right hip. A bruise caused by a strong kick while he was curling himself into a ball, hoping it would hurt less, counting the seconds to the end of the relentless torture.  
He looked up to the mirror, his pitiful reflection watching him with hateful, disgusted eyes. Oh, how he hated himself. And no one even knew ! Not his uncaring parents, not his nonexistent friends, and not even his exceptionally kind workmates. 

One phony smile would easily make them believe that he was perfectly fine. The mad man had made him practice it.

Bertholdt tried once more but the fake smile quickly changed to more sniffling, until he started sobbing uncontrollably. The realization hit him hard. There was no play to perform without spectators and no other choice than to face the ugly truth. He was home now, in a place that didn’t feel like it at all. It reeked of deception and hollowness, the very things that defined him and accentuated his self-loathing.

‘’I can’t do this anymore,’’ he whispered shakily.

The tears had now become too powerful to hold back from rolling down his pale cheeks. The little amount of strength left in his numb limbs barely allowed him to take a quick warm shower and put on his pajamas.

He then proceeded almost lifelessly to the bedroom and slipped under the covers of the king-size bed. Though dispirited, he managed to muster one final prayer for better tomorrows to come, before crying himself to sleep.


	6. Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's update time ! And this one chapter is 100% Reibert, we love that. I had fun writing this one, for some reason. Might be the romcom tropes, and just visualizing the scenes made it quite enjoyable to write. So I hope you'll like it !
> 
> Next update will probably take a little longer than usual, since I have tons of ideas and I want to organize them coherently. And there's work too, lol. It won't be a long wait at all, though ! Other than that, I'll try to put out a chapter per week when I can. ^_^
> 
> Enjoy your reading and as always, stay safe !

Finally. The stars had finally been aligned for him to awake peacefully in the noiseless room. The neighbors were thankfully quiet and the chirping birds had replaced the loud pounding sound of construction work at ungodly hours. The sunlight discreetly slipped through the blinds, caressing his face with the gentlest touch.

Reiner breathed a contented sigh as he relished the cliché but tranquil, almost dreamlike atmosphere. For once, all the requirements had been met to enjoy a good night’s sleep. And the best part of all : it was Saturday. He decided today was going to be good. Of course, with Christmas Eve being only a week away, he had his fair share of things to do such as going Christmas shopping and present-hunting for his mother, Gabi, Falco and friends but it was barely a hassle.

The waking felt just as effortless and the lukewarm shower that came next divine, with catchy Pop music and Reiner’s off-key singing filling the bathroom while he was vigorously washing and scrubbing each and every part of his body. He couldn’t help but smile putting on the usual gray sweatpants and Air Force sneakers. There were days like that, when everything seemed to go right from the beginning.

He headed to the kitchen and opened the fridge to grab some breakfast before dashing off. Okay, yeah, never mind. He wouldn’t go very far with pickles and a beer bottle. Grocery shopping it is. Oh well. Two birds, one stone.

As he had expected, the main shopping district in downtown Trost was a buzzing hive of activity on Saturday mornings, chock-full of crazed customers stampeding the place as though a clearance sale was currently happening. It was made official in Reiner’s head : Christmas was synonymous with insanity.

He shook his head and proceeded to select aisles where he was sure to find what he was looking for, albeit with some difficulty.

He started with electrical appliances, considering his mother wanted one of those recent high-quality food processors that chopped, sliced and diced any kind of food with impressive speed and precision. He never got the fascination for this stuff but to each their own, he guessed. After all, he could babble on about bodybuilding, football and cars -mainly his Mercedes- for hours. According to Annie, it made him unbearable. Of course she didn’t get it.

He then went on to the video game section, vaguely remembering how Gabi was gushing about the brand new Mortal Kombat installment and proudly foreseeing the way she would humiliate Falco over and over again. Poor Falco. Reiner remembered one chill afternoon playing games with them and witnessing the unstoppable thrashing. It had not been pretty.

The vivid thought brought a light smile to his lips. Moments like this were worth every coin.

The fleeting reminiscence soon gave way to instant mortification when, going through the checkout with his cart filled with food and gifts, he stared at the payment terminal device with nervous stupor. Shit. Did all of this cost... that much ? Hm. Once he’d get home, he’d lock the card and throw away the key till pay day.

His poor wallet and his nearly broke self left the building in a hurry to prevent any further splurge. At least the gifts were bought and the meals covered for a week or two, he reassured himself.

Reiner inhaled a lungful of chilly air in contentedness as he got out of the crowded building. That was enough commotion for the day. He made for his lovely car, patiently waiting for him in the parking lot. He emptied the contents of his shopping cart onto the trunk then cast one last perfunctory glance towards the shop entrance before taking his place in the driving seat and-

A pause. Reiner’s mind went blank for a second as he kept his gaze on the building doors from a distance, struck by the familiar figure revealing itself in the daylight.

The jet-black bangs, the jade-green eyes, the creamy-caramel complexion. The vertiginous height. There were not enough superlatives that could do justice to such ineffable beauty.

Reiner squinted as hard as he could to make sure his eyes were not deceiving him, but he knew that those impeccable features could never be duplicated anywhere. It really was him. Bertholdt. He looked as picture-perfect dressed in his brown sheepskin jacket and his pair of jeans as he did in his chic, professional ensemble.

Reiner heard his heart thumping madly, torn between pure exultation and nervousness. What to do ? Bertholdt had the right to enjoy his free time on his own but those shy, lost olive eyes... they were calling to him, reminding him that this morning had crowned him with one long winning streak, thus far. Honestly, when were the heavens this merciful to him ? Never. That’s for damn sure.

He jerked his head in instinctive manner as Bertholdt’s gait turned wobbly, overburdened by the three noticeably heavy bags in his hands. It only took a few unsteady steps before one of the handles gave in, causing a few groceries to hit the hard concrete.

‘’Bertholdt !’’ Reiner exclaimed, his own tentative steps turning into a concerned jog at the sight of the young brunette kneeling down to pick up his purchases. ‘’Here, let me help.’’

‘’Oh, Mr Braun ! What are you doing here ?’’

‘’Same as you, I guess. My fridge is dry as hell,’’ Reiner emphasized every word, causing Bertholdt to let out a painfully cute chuckle. He felt suddenly unaffected by the cool air. His stomach was burning. Again.

‘’I understand. I’ve been so caught up in work I barely had any time to feed myself properly. So here I am.’’

‘’Yeah, I can see that.’’ The sentence somewhat sounded sardonic as soon as it came out of his lips. What if Bertholdt thought it was a comment on him being a featherweight ? Not a good look. Scratch that, you moron. ‘’I mean-- I get why you needed to restock, is what I meant to say.’’

‘’I know you meant no harm, Mr Braun. It’s no problem, really,’’ Bertholdt offered a sweet, angelic smile that sent Reiner into another daydreaming phase in a span of seconds. _Gotta marry him._

Bertholdt standing up instantly brought him out of his daze. ‘’Hey, I can help you with that. I have my car so I can drive you home.’’

‘’Th-that won’t be necessary, Mr Braun,’’ Bertholdt stuttered, his expression growing alarmed. ‘’I actually live close from here. It’s only a thirty-minute walk away from here, so-- so--’’

‘’Huh ? That’s not exactly what I’d call close, you know.’’

‘’O-oh. Really ? I’ve... never thought of it this way,’’ Bertholdt wondered. He seemed genuinely puzzled, index resting on his chin. To Reiner, the gesture couldn’t be more amusing and adorable.

‘’Well, we’ll make it to your place much faster with my car and it’ll be less tiring too. I mean, wouldn’t that be more convenient for you ?’’

‘’I guess so... But you probably have more important business to attend to. I wouldn’t want to waste your time.’’

‘’You’re not wasting anyone’s time,’’ Reiner huffed with a toothy grin, all the while trying his best not to sound overly clingy. ‘’Besides, I’m the one wanting to lend a hand. Do I look that bothered to you ?’’

‘’No, you don’t,’’ Bertholdt said faintly, blushing. ‘’Well, I’ll take you up on your offer, then. Thank you, Mr Braun,’’ he added with a polite bow.

‘’Come on, enough with that. We’ve known each other for more than two weeks now. Call me Reiner, all right ? Just Reiner,’’ the blonde smiled, carrying the grocery bags to his car.

‘’Okay, Mr Br- I mean, Rei-Reiner...’’ Bertholdt stammered, visibly embarrassed. One look at him told Reiner the boy was too accustomed to formalities. And he had cracked the code with mastery. At last. At last the man of his dreams had uttered his first name. It had never sounded this beautiful. It rang like an incantation, like a successful rain dance.

‘’O-kay, looks like you’ll need some practice,’’ Reiner laughed heartily while opening the passenger door to Bertholdt. Gallantry would take him places. It would smooth the way to a potential date, he thought. ‘’Hop in.’’

Bertholdt thanked him and complied. Reiner’s lips curved into a winning smile as he hurried to his seat. The same words were playing on loop in his brain. Bertholdt was in his car. Bertholdt. Was. In. His. Car. Holy fuck.

He felt suddenly light on his feet. The heart palpitations, the weight on his shoulders, the stress... they were all gone in a flash.

The jubilation was hard to contain, so he thought adopting a poker face would be more prudent.

‘’Here,’’ Reiner handed his phone. ‘’Type your address in. It should come up on the GPS.’’ _And your number, while you’re at it._

Bertholdt thumbed the location nervously, his face now glistening with sweat. Something seemed to bother him, but Reiner didn’t mean to pry this early in the morning. He got his phone back from the brunette’s delicate hands and docked it to the dashboard. A fifteen-minute drive. Reasonable.

'’North of here, huh ? Isn’t that the residential area ? I don’t go around there much, let me tell you.’’ Reiner snorted, recollecting the astronomic total he had just spent.

‘’I don’t doubt it. It’s a very quiet, peculiar world,’’ Bertholdt chuckled.

Reiner could have sworn his last words were laced with mild disgust. Strange. He for one would have loved to live there, if he had the financial means to do so. But how was it possible for Bertholdt ? Reiner didn’t mean to look down on him for being a mere receptionist, but the job certainly wouldn’t enable him to afford one of those big ass houses or even a ‘modest’ apartment there. So what was it ? Part-time job ? Born into a millionaire family ? Gambling ? Reiner’s mind was buzzing with questions dying to be asked, but he had no right to intrude on his private life either... right ?

‘’I bet it is. Anyway, ready to go ?’’ Reiner asked, fastening his belt.

‘’Yes.’’

They drove through downtown Trost silently. Reiner gave occasional sidelong looks to make sure Bertholdt was okay. The young man kept on looking out the window and seemed to be off in his own little world.

His head perked up when they reached the large city plaza. Reiner imitated him reflexively.

The public square was one of the must-see places, with its massive park containing majestic coniferous trees and long bicycle lanes for cyclists to enjoy. It was doubtlessly the heart of the city, which somehow made you escape all the hustle and bustle. And every year in December, a funfair was held there with its various machines and unmissable Ferris wheel towering above the city. Bertholdt looked... hypnotized. It piqued Reiner’s curiosity.

‘’Ever been on one of those rides ?’’ Reiner asked.

‘’Mm ? Oh, yes. I remember I used to come here when I was very little. They still have the same ones, it seems.’’

‘’Yeah. They should really think about switching it up sometime, but it’s fine. We always get together with my friends, as a tradition. Never fails to be a total blast !’’

‘’I can only imagine. It would be nice to know what it feels like once more. It’s been a while...’’ Bertholdt smiled sadly, his expression growing more nostalgic.

‘’Well, who’s gonna stop you ? You’re free to do whatever the hell you want,’’ Reiner stated loud and clear.

‘’I guess you’re right, Reiner...’’

They reverted to a noiseless drive as the brief exchange led to natural silence.

The liveliness of the broad boulevards brimming with restless civilians and thriving businesses soon got replaced by deafening quietness as they pulled into narrower streets, engulfed by futuristic housing with unusual architectural styles, from the roofs to the porches. The mood somehow shifted, without notice.

Reiner felt a little funny as he scanned the area while tightening his hold on the wheel. No, he actually felt... displaced. Other than the fact he had hardly approached the place, there was just something oddly unsettling about it. On second thought, his humble apartment downtown wasn’t so bad. So... this was where Bertholdt lived ?

Reiner’s gaze drifted to the brunette, still sitting quietly next to him. He was slumped on his seat and his lips were... trembling ?

‘’This is the place, right ?’’ Reiner inquired, squinting at the GPS.

‘’Yes, it is,’’ Bertholdt replied inexpressively.

‘’Are you okay ?’’

‘’I’m fine. Uh, it’s a little farther down the street. Just keep driving straight ahead.’’

The narrow street gave way to a grassy yard decorated with azaleas and various shrubs that were surprisingly well-tended considering the season. It led up to a bunch of white buildings cemented together and isolated fancy houses. This was where Bertholdt lived.

Reiner parked his car near the building Bertholdt was pointing at. They both got out of the vehicle, picked Bertholdt’s bags up and proceeded to the building’s third floor, where Bertholdt resided. Reiner was amazed by the immaculate nature of the property. Whoever dusted this place down would definitely get along well with Levi.

As they arrived to Bertholdt’s apartment door, Reiner felt like his duty had been fulfilled. Bertholdt would probably like to enjoy his alone time anyway, he guessed.

‘’Aaaand there we go, Mr Hoover. Your bags have been safely delivered. Mission accomplished !’’ Reiner comically stood at attention, making Bertholdt laugh stupidly at the military stance and exaggerated tone. He had said his name, been in his car and now, he was laughing at him. For him. It would be a shame to leave him now. That fifteen-minute ride felt like a fleeting, distant memory. ‘’All right, I guess I’ll see you on Monday, then...’’

Bertholdt interrupted him as soon as he turned his back.

‘’Wait, Reiner--’’

‘’Yeah ?’’

‘’Would you... like a cup of coffee ? As th-thanks for helping me.’’

‘’If the coffee is as good as the one you gave me at work, then hell yeah I’m staying.’’

The comment brought a smile to Bertholdt’s lips as he unlocked the door and made a welcoming gesture for Reiner to step inside.

Oh wow. The outside may have been creepy as hell but this was nothing like it. On the contrary, it was rather inviting. This was not, however, the most striking aspect of the place. Damn, there was rich, and then there was... this. Reiner marveled at the stunning sight of the sumptuous interior, his mind inundated by visions of priceless furniture and huge ass... well, everything. The living room alone was worth more than his own place with that grand piano and that 4K plasma TV and that glass fireplace and that sectional sofa and that silverware and that fitted kitchen and he was starting to feel seriously lightheaded. That was just one whole room.

‘’Are you all right, Reiner ?’’ Bertholdt asked.

‘’Yeah, no biggie. I’m just not used to, well... this,’’ Reiner responded, waving his hand about the room.

‘’Oh. Well, try to make yourself comfortable. I’ll boil some water in the meantime.’’

Reiner kept on scoping the room while Bertholdt was a few steps away waiting by the stove. His eyes landed on two massive shelves against one of the walls, where dozens- no, hundreds of books were lined up neatly. There was something for everyone. History, philosophy, management, medicine, sheet music collections, famous plays, detective novels, you name it. One line off the shelves particularly drew Reiner’s attention. The books were all about teaching, mainly on how to give lessons and behave in front of students. Interesting.

Bertholdt came back a few minutes later, with perfect timing, placing the tray and the two cups of warm coffee on the pristine glass table.

‘’Did you read all of those ?’’

‘’Mostly. I try to read a few pages every night. It helps me go to sleep. And get away from reality too.’’

’’Yeah, I get you.’’ Reiner said blankly before looking back at the shelves. ‘’Lots of books about teaching too. What’s this all about ?’’

Bertholdt’s eyes lit up at the question. ‘’Oh, that’s because I’m planning on becoming a History teacher very soon. I’m currently preparing for the big exam and all,’’ he added, scratching his temple in humbleness.

‘’Really ?’’

‘’Yes, although I’m a little scared, to be quite honest,’’ Bertholdt murmured, lowering his head. ‘’It’s ironic, isn’t it ? I want to be a teacher, yet I can hardly face anyone and I just don’t have any authority...’’ Reiner knew Bertholdt was insecure, but this was far more serious than he had imagined. His confidence level was truly at its lowest. Reiner felt like he had to say something. Anything to make him keep his head up.

‘’Hey, you won’t know unless you try. It takes work but you’ll get there.’’ Reiner said reassuringly. ‘’Besides, you’re the one having power as a teacher. What you say goes. Just punch them little shits if they start messing with you.’’

Bertholdt was laughably mortified. ‘’Reiner ! I can’t do that !’’

‘’Well, that sucks. I would’ve helped.’’

Bertholdt sighed.

‘’Anyway, that’s pretty awesome,’’ Reiner smiled, trying hard not to show disappointment. Bertholdt’s words implied his stay at the company wasn’t going to be permanent. Who could blame him for that ? Besides, the sight of Bertholdt rambling about the ways of teaching was way too endearing to be overwhelmed by negative thoughts. ‘’But wait- how are you coping with everything, though ? You’re actually working with us at the company then studying right after, is that it ?’’ Reiner probed impressively. That was some superhuman shit.

Bertholdt nodded. ‘’Yes. I just catch up with distance-learning courses when I can. Plus I make revisions sheets as soon as I get home.’’ He then chuckled timidly. ‘’You must think I’m a square.’’

‘’Not at all.’’ Reiner shook his head. ‘’You’ve got drive. It’s just... well, I could never do it. You’re really something, Bertholdt !’’ Reiner exclaimed, flashing a grin that made Bertholdt’s face crimson red.

‘’O-oh, uh, it’s nothing insurmountable, really. I don’t have much else to do anyway so I’ve gotten used to it.’’

‘’I can tell,’’ Reiner snorted as he settled on the couch and took a sip of his espresso, the warm bitterness and the intoxicating flavor of the beverage jolting him up with newfound energy. 

Bertholdt followed suit and let out a faint grunt once seated, wincing at the motion. He had probably meant to hide it well but it certainly didn’t go unnoticed to Reiner as he instantly leaned forward, intense concern plastered on his face.

‘’What’s wrong ? Are you feeling okay ? Are you hurt ?’’

‘’Yes- I mean, no, it’s nothing. I’m just a little tired. I haven’t had much time to rest lately. You know, with work and all,’’ Bertholdt chuckled lightly.

‘’See, I didn’t want to ruin the mood but didn’t I tell you not to overexert yourself on your first day or so ? You’re working way too much, Bertholdt.’’ Reiner said firmly, causing Bertholdt to flinch a little at the sudden shift in tone and act apologetic.

‘’I know. I’m sorry...’’

‘’Do me a favor and apologize to your body in the first place. You should take care of it, seriously. I mean, did you know fatigue could bring you closer to being a vampire ?’’ Reiner spoke knowledgeably, widening his eyes on purpose like an entranced scholar.

‘’No, I didn’t. Did you just... make that up ?’’

‘’I did. But the point still stands,’’ Reiner deadpanned.

Bertholdt tried to suppress a laugh, but it was to no avail. Reiner internally rejoiced upon seeing the handsome brunette unwinding, sipping on his hot beverage with his perfect pink lips. Had he not been there at the moment, Bertholdt would have probably worked his fingers to the bone or buried his nose in books all day. He really needed to relax a little.

And there, right there, laid an opening for the smoothest transition in Reiner’s head. Or so he had thought.

‘’Hey, you know what ? I-I’m actually going out to the funfair with my friends tomorrow. And, uh, they’re actually a couple and,uh, they’re actually really chill and stuff. So, uh-’’ Reiner began to stammer, aware of Bertholdt's confused stare. Goddamn it. Why was he repeating the word ‘actually’ like some fucking buggy program ? Why was the anxiety coming back right now ? Just get the fuck away already.

‘’Yes, Reiner ?’’ Bertholdt asked softly. Oh god, please. Please don’t say it like that.

‘’Do you want to come along ?’’ Reiner almost blurted out. Bertholdt froze, seemingly trying to process the words in his brain. He looked frightened, and the fright contaminated Reiner.

‘’Oh... I don’t know, Reiner. I-I don’t want to be in the way, and I, um, have a lot of work as well...’’

‘’Don’t say that. It’ll be fun and take a load off your mind too. And-’’ Reiner paused. ‘’I’d really like you to be there.’’ Oh my god, that’s it. He had said it.

Bertholdt almost choked on his coffee. Then, he smiled.

‘’Well, I guess I can make myself available for a couple hours... but I don’t want to go home too late since we have work on Monday.’’

‘’So that’s a yes ?’’ Reiner asked expectantly.

‘’That’s a yes. But let’s just say... I’m eighty percent sure. I’ll have to think it over. Is that all right with you ?’’

‘’Fine by me !’’ Was this really happening ? ‘’Can I, uh, contact you again later ? If that’s possible for you, I mean,’’ Reiner asked tentatively, holding his phone in anticipation.

‘’Yes. May I ?’’ Bertholdt demanded shyly, pointing at the phone. Reiner automatically and generously handed it to the brunette and watched him as he began typing his phone number. He wasn’t typing his address on the GPS now, but his fucking number on his contact list. Reiner was seeing angels.

Mission accomplished.


	7. Meeting (Part I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey readers ! Coming through with a new chapter today. The wait was supposed to be a little longer, but I had so many ideas with the next batch of chapters I just got right on it every day after work, lol. So this is the date chapter and since I had some inspiration for it, I decided to make it into two lengthy parts with both Reiner's and Bertholdt's POV. Reibert and JeanMarco lovers, come get your food, lmao. ^-^  
> The second part should come very soon, already working on it. Hope you'll enjoy the first one until then ! It's cute and angsty, but I'll let you guys find out while reading. Don't hesitate to share your thoughts, as always !

'’Okay, uh... how do I look ?’’

The words escaped Reiner’s mouth hesitantly. The swift creaking sound of his smart leather shoes plodded the bedroom floor nervously as he turned away from the full-length mirror to face his female coworkers.

‘’Hmm... not sure about this one,’’ Annie remarked with the same old nonchalance.

‘’Um, you look like a scarecrow--’’

‘’Pieck--’’ Reiner began, already expecting far-fetched ideas and hopeless oddities coming out of her mouth, as usual.

‘’A scarecrow terrorizing kids on an abandoned corn field.’’

‘’That’s way too specific, Pieck. Just what kind of movies are you watching ?’’ Annie probed with mild curiosity.

‘’Oh, you don’t want to know, honey.’’

‘’What’s wrong with the damn outfit ?’’ Reiner asked, flustered.

Why were they even here ? Oh yeah. He had called the girls to the rescue since they were pretty fashionable in most circumstances and he just needed advice, point blank. He was getting impatient. After all, it was the big day. His first date in a long while and not with just anyone : Bertholdt Hoover was his date. Reiner was elated when the brunette had said yes and confirmed his answer in the late morning.

Now, he felt like he had to come through to stack all the odds in his favor and win Bertholdt over, but he couldn’t shake away the feeling that there was a sizeable hiccup. He barely knew anything about Bertholdt. Apart from him being filthy rich and wanting to be a teacher, Reiner had not quite figured him out yet. Understandable, as it had only been a little more than two weeks since he began working at the company but still, the fascination was too overwhelming. He wanted to know so much more about him.

When was Bertholdt’s birthday ? What was his favorite color ? What were his parents like ? What music did he listen to ? Was he more into sushi or burgers ? Did he like flowers ? And the million dollar question that was currently eating away at him : what was his taste in men ? Reiner wondered for a moment, reflecting on how to make a solid first impression, from the attitude to the look. He was especially struggling with the latter subject. The tight-fitting suit he was wearing allowed very little movement and the shirt beneath his blazer threatened to rip at the slightest motion. Reiner ultimately sighed, feeling like he was about to go berserk. It had never been this hard to impress another guy, and he had never felt this much pressure. Bertholdt was literally a fashion icon while he was, well...

‘’It’s not going to cut it,’’ Annie admitted blankly. ‘’The suit color is kinda cute but you look so stiff and uncomfortable in this one. You look like you have a broom up your ass.’’

Pieck covered her mouth to suppress a harmless yet unpleasant cackle.

‘’Yeah, you got that right. Fuck it, then,’’ Reiner exhaled as he tossed his blazer to the bed, disheartened by the failed attempts at just... looking good. He then sat on the edge of his bed, running his hands through his hair and face in resignation. Annie and Pieck exchanged knowing looks as they witnessed Reiner’s demoralization.

‘’You could make things much less complicated, Reiner. Why are you trying so hard ? Bertholdt won’t judge you for the way you dress. He’s the sweetest,’’ Pieck remarked softly. The surprisingly dulcet tone of her voice revealed just how much she had grown fond of Bertholdt. Well, the boy was utterly lovable and unproblematic, after all.

‘’I don’t know... I thought it’d be a great idea to change things up and surprise him a little. Make him see me in a new light, you know ? But forget it. Now I know it’s fucking pointless to try.’’

‘’Okay, I’ve heard enough,’’ Annie sighed.

‘’What now ?’’ Reiner asked wearily.

‘’First of all, you need to calm the fuck down,’’ Annie ordered. Reiner did instantly as he was told. ‘’Second, this is Bertholdt we’re talking about. He is not going to reject you because of the way you dress. Only a dumbass like Porco would do that. And third, I don’t get why you’re so intent on switching it up. The usual works just fine.’’

‘’But--’’

‘’No buts, you know I hate those,’’ Annie remarked with growing frustration, rendering Reiner speechless. He could tell she was starting to get pissed off with the self-flagellation and the insecurities, which he knew were so unlike him. ‘’For crying out loud, just be yourself. Strong. Confident. Unapologetic. Be Reiner Braun.’’

‘’Can’t agree more with that. Listen to the voice of reason, Reiner,’’ Pieck stated with exuberance. She was enjoying the situation a little too much.

‘’All right, I’ll come up with something else, I guess,’’ Reiner pouted, ultimately surrendering to ‘the voice of reason’. Annie was right, yet again.

‘’That’s the spirit !’’ Pieck exclaimed enthusiastically.

‘’It’ll be fine. Bertholdt said yes, and you know how reticent he is. You got this in the bag,’’ Annie affirmed with a light smile.

‘’Yeah, you’re right, it’s gonna be okay. Ah, anyway, thanks for coming over. Makes me feel a little better.’’

‘’No probs. I want a debrief as soon as it’s over, though. Just in case you fucked up,’’ Annie warned, nudging him in the ribs.

'’Don’t forget about me ! I want in on the tea too !’’ Pieck added.

‘’All right, all right, jeez. Anyway, you know I love to have you around but I gotta speed up. I’m already late and shit.’’

‘’O-kay, I know when I’m not wanted,’’ Pieck said, feigning offense.

Annie went for the door without a word. She had said everything she needed to say. The rest was up to Reiner.

After bidding the girls goodbye, he returned in his bedroom with the firm intention to find the right outfit.

‘’You got this,’’ he whispered repeatedly, rummaging through his wardrobe and drawers once more to unearth anything worth wearing. As he resumed examining his closet in utter desperation, he felt a faint vibration from his phone in his right pocket and hurriedly whipped it out.

Marco - **5:48 PM** : _Hey Reiner ! We’re on our way to the plaza. Are you coming soon ?_

Reiner - **5:49 PM** : _Yeah. I just gotta pick Bertholdt up first. Might be a little late too, sorry_

Marco - **5:49 PM** : _No worries, we’ll just walk around a little with Jean in the meantime, then wait for you near the park entrance. See you in a bit, then !_

Reiner - **5:50 PM** : _Yeah alright, I’m bout to go out. I’ll keep you posted_

Marco - **5:50 PM** : _Nice ! ^-^_

The exchange brought a smile to Reiner’s lips. Marco was such a nice and upbeat guy, even through texts. His positivity sparked Reiner’s enthusiasm as he kept on looking for the best pieces in his closet. _Maybe... this would do ?_ Combined with a pair of sneakers, it would look good. Not too extra nor too basic.

Reiner let out a sigh of relief upon finally coming up with something, before he heard his phone buzzing again. Marco was pretty excited about going out tonight, it seemed.

He swiped down the notification from the top of the screen. Oh, shit. Bertholdt.

Bertholdt - **5:53 PM** : _Hello Reiner. I’m about to leave my place now. I’ll wait for you near the residential area entrance. Is that okay with you ?_

Reiner - **5:54 PM** : _Hey Bertholdt ! Yeah, that’s perfect. I’m on my way right now !_

It wasn’t a lie. Technically.

Bertholdt - **5:55 PM** : _All right. I’ll see you later, then._

Reiner - **5:55 PM** : _Yeah ! Can’t wait to be there already. It’s gonna be so much fun. ;)_

Reiner waited a few seconds for another response, but nothing came up. Bertholdt was probably heading to the meeting place now. It was going to happen. It was going to happen. Reiner exhaled a shaky sigh, looking at the garment lying on his bed, uttering the same haunting words to himself.

_Be yourself. Be Reiner Braun. For Bertholdt._

  


  


  


*

  


  


  


Bertholdt was patiently waiting at the meeting place on the dry sidewalk, close to the gates of the chic neighborhood. He was only five minutes away from his place - if he could call it that - but it felt comforting enough to be even one step away from the panic-inducing district. He could let his mind wander, presently mesmerized by the fading shades of pink and orange that would soon make way for a darkening sky, as well as the continuous flow of pedestrians enjoying their Sunday night, talking about dinner options, laughing away all their worries, returning home from work to go back to it on the next day, mechanically.

The bite of the chilly evening air ran through Bertholdt’s warm clothes despite him wrapping his arms tightly around his navy blue coat and pulling his printed cashmere scarf over his nose.

His legs were tingling and moving on their own in anxious, uncontrollable restlessness. Bertholdt knew the cold was barely responsible for that. No, he was genuinely excited. It was his first night out in a very long time, and he was merrily looking forward to it. This time, he was not going to read books or cry until exhaustion got the better of him. No. Tonight, he was going to have fun with Reiner and his friends.

Bertholdt smiled under his warm scarf. He still couldn’t believe Reiner had... asked him out, in a way. What a strange turn of events. The same question kept working its way to his brain.

  


Why ?

  


He was not deserving of Reiner’s presence or attention, had nothing interesting going on with his life, had nothing interesting to say. From the looks down to the personality, he was wholly unremarkable, in every sense of the word. That is what he has always been told to believe, so it logically had to be true.

The loud purring of passing cars tore him away from his discouraging thoughts, and in the short distance, his eyes recognized a lustrous black car waiting at the red light. It was him. Reiner. He was waving at him from the driving seat, and though it was perhaps hard to tell, he seemed to be smiling. Bertholdt’s legs quivered. He felt heat rising to his cold cheeks and his heart throbbing loudly under his coat. Now, was it just the cold or... ?

Reiner parked his car and rolled down the passenger window, making Bertholdt gaze in wonder. He was sporting a red and white varsity jacket, a pair of light blue jeans and spotless white sneakers. Bertholdt marveled at the way Reiner looked even more casual and youthful with this outfit. He looked just like a college boy. Or at least, the clothes seemed to be a throwback to high school or college years, and Bertholdt could just tell by looking at the blouson that Reiner had been one of those extremely popular, athletic students that excelled at sports.

He had the commending presence of a captain and was as divinely handsome as the Greek gods from encyclopedias Bertholdt read at home. This man wanted to spend time with him ? Impossible.

‘’Hey, you. Waiting for someone ?’’ Reiner asked, his tone mildly flirtatious.

‘’I’ve been waiting for you, Reiner,’’ Bertholdt replied earnestly, cracking a timid smile at Reiner’s playfulness. A cold gust of wind made him rub his hands faster against his coat to obtain as much warmth as possible. ‘’Can I, uh...’’

‘’Oh, yeah, of course ! Shit, I’m sorry. Get inside, it’s much warmer here,’’ Reiner said alarmingly, motioning Bertholdt to take shelter in the car.

Bertholdt sat on the passenger seat and fastened his belt, letting the interior warmth penetrate his uncovered body parts. Reiner’s car felt like a sanctuary. It was... safe. The musky scent of cologne permeated the vehicle and strongly exuded manliness, protection, power. It smelled like Reiner.

‘’I, uh... I’m sorry for being late. Had some trouble with... something,’’ he added apologetically.

‘’It’s all right, Reiner. I have only been waiting for fifteen minutes, I think. You don’t need to apologize,’’ Bertholdt replied, giving a sweet reassuring smile. He then looked out the window to contemplate the sky, descending further into darkness. A shiver ran through his body, and he mechanically blew lukewarm air on his hands before letting them rest on his blue overcoat. The extremities of his fingers felt sore as he had developed chilblains, but it was of little consequence to him.

‘’No, that’s not right. And you’re freezing cold too ! Let me feel,’’ Reiner half questioned half ordered on impulse, taking Bertholdt’s cold trembling hands in his, delicately caressing his white knuckles. Bertholdt blushed and frowned upon the sight of Reiner being genuinely distraught. Why was he so worried ? There was much worse out there than a mere frostbite, and that was his fault anyway for not putting gloves on. ‘’Fuck, your hands are frozen ! It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have taken so long. I’m really sorry, Bertholdt...’’

‘’Reiner, it’s okay. I-I’m okay, I promise,’’ Bertholdt gently insisted, relishing the warmth emanating from Reiner’s hands, taking it all in. The gesture was the perfect testament to Reiner’s qualities. He oozed consideration and warmth, on top of being confident and charming.

Though Reiner’s reaction might have been excessive, Bertholdt felt lucky to be treated so well over what seemed to be the littlest thing. It was strange but somewhat refreshing. No one had ever apologized to him for being late or been this worried about him being cold. Certainly not...

No. He couldn’t let that monster haunt him now. Reiner and his friends were the only ones that mattered tonight. The thought urged him to get a grip on himself in an instant.

‘’How about... going to the fairground, now ? I have to say I’m pretty excited about it, and I can’t wait to meet your friends, as well,’’ Bertholdt added with surprising enthusiasm. The objective was to cheer Reiner up, though his voice was still laced with inherent diffidence.

‘’Yeah, you’re right... let’s do that. It’s gonna be lit !’’ Reiner perked up, his lips curving into a childlike grin.

Bertholdt beamed at Reiner’s attitude. He was not accustomed to seeing that youthful, boyish side from Reiner at work, though he had already caught a glimpse of it yesterday during their chance encounter. Upon the first day, he had looked so intimidating and had Mr Magath not been there, Bertholdt would have identified him as the president of the company despite his young age. Therefore, it was actually surprising to see he was this playful, light-hearted person in everyday life. He just seemed... free.

Before the last thought threatened to upset Bertholdt, the sound of the engine revving up raised his morale and wiped the negativity from his memory. He was with Reiner, and they were now off to enjoy themselves.

The ride to the plaza wasn’t as soundless, this time. Reiner was particularly talkative and kept on speaking positively about Jean for being reliable and an all-around fun guy despite acting overly prideful and even moronic at times, as well as praising Marco for being ‘the final boss of kindness and benevolence’. Reiner assured Bertholdt he was going to get along extremely well with Marco especially.

Other talking points included Reiner’s family and a few high school anecdotes. Reiner cracked up recalling that one time when Jean had crafted a huge paper airplane and thrown it while their Math teacher was scribbling equations on the board. He had turned around at the wrong time and took the airplane right in the face, making him lose his balance and trip behind his desk. Everyone in the room had apparently burst into laughter and according to Reiner, Jean’s face was nothing short of priceless, mixed with pride and horror at the same time. Bertholdt couldn’t help but chuckle hearing Reiner’s contagious laugh, though Jean’s doing wasn’t exactly pleasant.

If a student did that to him, he would be extremely hurt and it would probably take him days to recover from such humiliation.

They arrived at the park entrance in ten minutes’ time and managed to find a parking spot with some difficulty. Bertholdt was astonished by the impressive amount of people standing on the pavement, all gathered around the entrance, and there were many more inside the park. It wasn’t exactly how he had recalled it in his childhood memory. The place was much more crowded now, which was both reassuring and worrying.

The pulsating sound of electronic music played at full blast was audible enough from where they stood, even though it was muffled by the thick car windows.

As they both got out of the car, the noise became more tumultuous coupled with the hundreds of people at the front entrance chatting and screaming and laughing hysterically. Bertholdt felt vulnerable and naked surrounded by all those people. He was having trouble getting accustomed to the vibrant night life of the city, he who was so used to live in a world of calmness and remoteness. The cacophony made him dizzy and confused, but he finally decided to make do with it. He had learned that it was better not to disappoint anyone or even speak one’s mind, so he wouldn’t say a word to Reiner. He was too excited about this.

‘’Yo, Reiner !’’ A fruity voice yelled, just a few feet away from them.

Bertholdt jerked his head to where the shout resonated, his panic-stricken eyes meeting a rather handsome face with piercing light-brown eyes and an outlandish undercut, which somehow worked. The young man had a rather muscular build, though not as impressive as Reiner, and a rebellious air about him. He was accompanied by a shorter man whose face was studded with countless freckles. His short, parted black hair and bright brown eyes gave him a more boyish look, as well. Strangely enough, his presence slightly calmed Bertholdt down. Friendliness shone through the boy’s hazel eyes, even from a distance.

Bertholdt unconsciously tilted his head to the side, a look of questioning in his eyes. Were they... Jean and Marco ?

‘’Ah, there you are ! Thought I’d look for you for hours !’’ Reiner replied, getting closer to the pair. Bertholdt trailed behind him inconspicuously. ‘’So, uh... guys, this is Bertholdt, my coworker. Bertholdt, meet Jean and Marco, longstanding friends,’’ Reiner gestured expressively, his hands waving back and forth to Bertholdt and the couple.

‘’Um, hello...’’ Bertholdt spoke in a brittle voice, barely waving his hand up in the air. Something as instinctive as introducing oneself felt like an excruciating trial to him. He knew he was proficient in a lot of things. However, socializing just was not one of those.

‘’So you’re Bertholdt, huh ? Reiner has told us a lot about you, you know. Damn, I didn’t expect you to be that tall !’’ Jean exclaimed unabashedly.

Bertholdt started sweating profusely and chuckled awkwardly, not knowing how to deal with the bizarre comment and the fact that Reiner was talking about him to his close friends. He turned his gaze to Reiner for help. Reiner was... face-palming, mumbling something like ‘Oh boy, here we go again’. Was he used to this ?

‘’Don’t you have better things to say, Jean ?’’ the freckled boy inquired rather sternly, though his voice remained surprisingly modulated and tender. He then lightly pinched his mate on the forearm, causing him to feign mild pain.

‘’Ow ! What’d I say ?’’

‘’Bad things. Ah, never mind,’’ the shorter boy sighed. ‘’Sorry about that, Bertholdt. I’m Marco. It’s nice to meet you !’’

‘’Nice to meet you too...’’ Bertholdt replied with a weak smile, lowering his head halfway through his words. Reiner evidently noticed.

‘’There are times when you need to keep your fucking mouth shut, Jean. This is one of those times,’’ Reiner said irritatingly.

‘’Hey, why am I getting roasted, now ? I didn’t do shit,’’ Jean retorted childishly, looking away in discontentment. The puerile reaction made Bertholdt giggle beyond his control. Reiner and Marco joined him soon enough, much to Jean’s dismay. ‘’Okay, enough already. Fine, I fucked up. I, uh... sorry, Bertholdt. That was kinda rude, not gonna lie,’’ Jean muttered embarrassingly.

‘’It’s all right, Jean. No offense taken,’’ Bertholdt replied with lingering amusement. He was already starting to feel more comfortable in their presence.

‘’Honestly...’’ Reiner huffed, then shook his head. ‘’Anyway, are we going or what ? I need thrills and churros in my life.’’

‘’Yes, let’s !’’ Marco exclaimed enthusiastically.

The quartet went past the entrance and blended with the bustling crowd. Jean and Marco led the way, talking about which attraction they should try first, while Reiner remained by Bertholdt’s side.

Bertholdt’s emerald eyes lit up at the sight of the colorful, resplendent neon lights glowing in the dark. They contributed to the lively atmosphere of the place. In some way, the lights managed to subdue his fear and inner loneliness. The smell of fried food and fruity beverages tickled his nostrils and made his mouth water. All his senses were awakening and warming up to the place. His heart swelled with unspeakable happiness, and it occurred to him that he had not been this happy in a long time.

‘’So... does it bring back good memories ?’’ Reiner leaned forward, catching Bertholdt’s attention.

‘’It does. I missed all of this, but I’ve never felt this good being here. Thank you for inviting me, Reiner...’’ Bertholdt flashed a grateful smile, which took Reiner off guard.

‘’Ah, uh, don’t mention it,’’ Reiner replied, scratching the nape of his neck. ‘’You’re putting yourself under so much pressure for work so I thought it’d be nice for you to, you know, cool off a little. You... you deserve it.’’

‘’I appreciate it. To be honest with you, I still have work in the back of my mind but, um... I’ll live in the moment for tonight.’’

‘’That’s what I wanted to hear,’’ Reiner grinned. Bertholdt imitated him.

They had widened the gap with Jean and Marco, which caused the couple to slow down and remain close to them.

‘’What are you guys prattling on about ?’’ Jean asked with little interest.

‘’Nothing much, bro. You can keep moving,’’ Reiner retorted with a defiant nod and a cocky smile. Now, Jean was really curious.

Bertholdt was amused by the friendly bickering and provocations. He could tell Reiner and Jean were very close. As close as brothers were, perhaps. So... that was what it was like to have friends ? Bertholdt seriously reflected upon the question. He had had acquaintances and a select few people fortunately nice enough in his life, but friends ? The same way Reiner was friends with Jean and Marco ? Never.

It had never been a burning need for him, but he imagined how nice it could be to have close friends, whom you could blindly trust and tell everything you wanted without restraint. If only he could find the strength to speak his mind, things would turn out differently...

‘’Hey, Bertholdt !’’ Reiner hollered.

Bertholdt snapped out of his thoughts upon hearing Reiner call out his name. He was standing beside a white stall filled with all sorts of sugary treats. There were sweets, cotton candy and what seemed to be long strips of fried dough, covered with sugar, chocolate and... cinnamon, judging by the faint smell. The whole stand made Bertholdt’s stomach turn.

‘’Here, take this. It’s called a churro. You just gotta try it out,’’ Reiner claimed, forcing the thin pastry into Bertholdt’s hand.

‘’I’m not really fond of sugar, Reiner.’’

‘’Come on, eat some. For me, at least,’’ Reiner pled with puppy eyes. Bertholdt couldn’t even count on the darkness of the night to hide the color rising to his cheeks. The neon lights were also a hindrance.

‘’Just take a bite, Bertholdt. It’s actually tasty as hell,’’ Jean nodded. Marco’s reliable smile sealed the deal.

The brunette ultimately gave in to the temptation and took a small bite from the dripping treat. His eyes slightly widened upon tasting the crunchy yet soft dough and feeling the warm chocolate spread gently tickling his palate. It really was exquisite. He swallowed it all without thinking.

‘’You guys were right. It’s so good !’’ Bertholdt exclaimed merrily before raising an eyebrow. The three of them were strangely staring at him. ‘’Uh... do I have something on my face ?’’

‘’Actually, yeah, uh... you have some chocolate... right here,’’ Reiner mumbled, pointing at the corner of his own lips. Bertholdt instantly brought the napkin to his lips in embarrassment. They were all laughing at his self-indulgence, now. Just great.

‘’Is it gone, now ?’’ Bertholdt asked nervously, momentarily sweating. Imperfection was not an option. Reiner nodded with a smile, which Bertholdt mirrored by reflex.

‘’Yeah, don’t worry about it, Bertholdt. It happens to the best of us,’’ Marco replied gently before turning his attention to a disturbing laugh coming from the attraction in front of them. ‘’Uh oh, not the most pleasant ride, this one.’’

Bertholdt set his eyes on the infamous, grotesque ride. The ghost train. It only took one glance for Bertholdt to decide that it was the most tragic attraction of all. The abominable infrastructure was tinted in cheap dark purple paint with a mix of black and white hues. A tacky metallic statue of the Grim Reaper stood high at the centre, but that was not all. The worst was yet to come. The most unbearable things about it were the continuous sneering laugh resonating and the overly excited voice spouting the same corny lines such as _You’ll never get out of here alive !_ or _Get your one-way ticket to hell, sinners !_

The whole fiasco made him shudder.

‘’What’s the matter, Bertholdt ? Are you scared ?’’ Jean teased.

Scared ? Scared was an overstatement, Bertholdt thought. Granted, horror didn’t rank very high on his tier list of favorite genres. The less violence and anxiety, the better. So indeed, the ghost ride was not his favorite but he wasn’t afraid. Uh... no, he wasn’t ! He simply wondered why people would willingly inflict this on themselves. It was truly incomprehensible to him.

‘’N-no, not at all !’’

‘’Leave him alone, Jean. Must I remind you about that one time when Reiner and Eren hid a doll under your blanket during Halloween night ? Even the sight of Barbie dolls made you jumpy for two weeks straight,’’ Marco laughed affectionately.

‘’Oh yeah, I remember that,’’ Reiner covered his mouth to suppress a cackle. ‘’You were screaming like a little bitch. Good times. Is the last part true, though ?’’ He added mockingly with a touch of fake surprise, purposefully trying to rile Jean up.

‘’Sh-shut it, Reiner, it’s all your fucking fault. And Marco, I thought we had agreed to keep it a secret !’’

‘’Serves you right for teasing Bertholdt, honey,’’ Marco replied, sticking his tongue out.

‘’Tch. You’re lucky I love you, you know that ?’’ Jean sighed, grabbing Marco by the waist and pulling him closer for a deep kiss. Marco eagerly responded to the loving gesture. It drew the attention of a handful of people, but they didn’t seem to care.

Both Reiner and Bertholdt stared at them uncomfortably, the former growing slightly annoyed.

‘’Gosh. Get a damn room, you two.’’

‘’Right back at you, bro !’’ Jean answered, prideful. ‘’Anyway, you guys up for it ? Or should we go to the Hook a Duck stall ?’’

‘’If there ain’t a big ass Barbie doll inside, I don’t want it,’’ Reiner stated, earning him a livid glare from Jean.

‘’I have no objections. What about you, Bertholdt ?’’ Marco asked gleefully.

'’Uh...s-sure, why not ?’’

They fell into the line with the rest of the crowd and soon neared the end of the queue where the hellish train was posted. It was almost time to get on board. Jean dragged Marco to the front seats of the train and motioned Reiner and Bertholdt to get behind them. Bertholdt let Reiner sit first and anxiously took place in the second row. What a terrible idea. He should have just admitted he was terrified and waited for them at the entrance.

‘’Are you okay, Bertholdt ? We can still turn back, if you want,’’ Reiner offered.

‘’No, it’s fine. Besides, it’s a bit too late to get out now,’’ Bertholdt smiled nervously.

‘’I guess you’re right. Well, don’t worry. If worse comes to worst, I’ll protect you,’’ Reiner blurted.

‘’Th-thank you, Reiner...’’

‘’Yo, guys, this isn’t the time or place to be flirting, y’know,’’ Jean teased, turning around to catch Bertholdt blushing and fidgeting in his seat.

‘’Says the guy who makes out in front of literally everyone. Also, I’d pay attention to what’s in front of me if I were you, Jean. We wouldn’t want--’’

‘’Fine, I get it. Shut the fuck up,’’ Jean spat, now sitting properly on his seat. Reiner sported a winning grin.

‘’Please stay put, Jean. It looks like it’s about to start,’’ Marco warned.

The puffing sound of steam echoed as the train started advancing in slow motion, its wheels turning and clanking on the metallic rails. Bertholdt dug his nails on his thighs as they got deeper into the cavity, focusing on his breathing before anything else. Marco and Jean were casually chatting about the ride and Reiner was busy observing the gloomy setting. How could they even keep calm ?

Bertholdt flinched at the speed of the train picking up, gathering momentum for the incoming descent into true hell. The atmosphere was getting sinister as the first monstrosities appeared on the sidetracks.

There were bats and spiders and clowns and replicas of notorious serial killers from those awful horror movies. Various effects were thrown into the horrifying mix, namely smoke and the thunderous sound of firecrackers being set off. The devilish laugh was back at it again and as if that wasn’t enough, flashing lights contrasted with the dark and blinded him. The whole enterprise turned into a strident mess and disoriented him by the third minute, but Bertholdt attempted to resist nonetheless. Maybe Reiner and the others would find it pathetic and cowardly to be afraid of a fabrication. After all, the props were nothing but that. They weren’t real, they weren’t alive... except for him.

The lights soon flickered frenetically, blurring his vision, making him nauseous, leading him to close his eyes as a defensive measure. They were so tightly shut tears were threatening to trickle down from the corners. It hurt and made him uncomfortable, so he granted himself a moment of respite, opening them to check just how far they were from the end of the track.

  


He blinked. Again. And again. It was practically pitch-black.

  


He instantly regretted making such a fatal mistake. He suddenly couldn’t move a single muscle. He was utterly paralyzed and almost felt as though the train was taking this opportunity to throw him into the lion’s den.

Bertholdt nearly yelped at the apparition of the recognizably horrendous face. It can’t be. It can’t be.

There. He was there, projected by the menacing flash of light and darkness, getting closer and closer, ready to pounce on him, manhandle him.

  


_Come back here, Bertholdt !_

_  
_

Bertholdt felt like he was about to let out a loud shriek, but it fell back on his throat and remained there. The next thing he knew, he instinctively grabbed and squeezed Reiner’s right arm, nuzzling in the crook of his shoulder, whispering to himself that it was just a hallucination, that it was not real. It was not real. It was not real.

Reiner jumped, startled by the motion and it was only then that Bertholdt realized what he had just done so shamelessly. Thus, he started letting go but was strongly held back by a firm pressure applied on his shoulder.

His eyes widened when he saw Reiner bringing him closer, allowing him to rest on his pectoral. Though Reiner had a thick sweater under his jacket, Bertholdt could still feel the rock-hard quality of his chest which was, oddly enough, quite comfortable at the same time. And his powerful scent was so intoxicating and comforting. Bertholdt did not dare to move one bit, aware of how flushed his face was. He had not realized Marco had turned around for a mere second, however.

‘’Hang in there, Bertholdt. It’s almost over,’’ Reiner soothed, his face a few inches away from Bertholdt who only nodded in response, eyes closed, still buried in the blonde’s sculpted chest.

Reiner’s words lingered in the air like a heavenly promise, which was then fulfilled a few seconds later when light appeared at the end of the tunnel and the train stopped squealing, finishing its dreadful course beneath the star-studded sky. Bertholdt slowly raised his head and looked around, stunned by the change of scenery, as though he had just woken up from a bad dream. The neon lights were everywhere. They were back to the plaza, at last. He straightened himself up with difficulty and remained on his seat for a brief moment, letting the gentle wintry air caress his face.

‘’How are you feeling ?’’ Reiner asked in a whisper, drawing soothing circles on his shoulder area.

Oh. He almost forgot he was still in Reiner’s embrace. He was close, dangerously close, but his gentle, strong arms shielded him from harm and made the world stop still. Bertholdt felt his muscles loosen up as Reiner’s warm, sturdy figure remained pressed against his. Though the position was far from being unpleasant, Bertholdt was relieved to notice that he was no longer in a state of paralysis.

‘’I’m... fine. Thank you, Reiner. Sorry for, um...’’

‘’It’s okay. I did say I’d protect you so I didn’t mind at all,’’ Reiner smiled. ‘’It was pretty scary back there, eh ?’’

‘’Yeah... were you scared too ?’’ Bertholdt’s brow furrowed as he asked the question innocently.

‘’Shitless,’’ Reiner replied with a large grin.

Bertholdt was having trouble believing that somehow, but the answer managed to get a smile out of him.

They remained on their seats for a couple seconds, lost in each other’s eyes, until the ringing of bells urged them to stand up and make a bolt for the exit. Reiner helped Bertholdt get out of the wagon and they then headed for the stairs to leave the creepy ride. As soon as they hit the asphalt floor, they were met with Jean’s suspicious gaze.

‘’Ah, there you are ! If you guys want a second round, just say so. I’m all for it !’’

‘’Nah, it was kinda boring, actually. Let’s just find something chill next,’’ Reiner said blankly.

‘’Agreed,’’ Marco smiled. ‘’Bertholdt, are you all right ? Thank goodness you're okay. I was so worried about you,’’ he added, holding Bertholdt’s hand like porcelain glass.

‘’I feel better now, thank you. I’m sorry for worrying you, Marco...’’

‘’Don’t think too much about it. I don’t want to sound like an asshole but you could have told us you were not feeling it from the get-go. We would have tried something else,’’ Jean said in a surprisingly soft tone.

Bertholdt glanced at Reiner, smiling knowingly as if every word from his friend rang true in his own mind. Reiner did tell him yesterday that he was free to do whatever he wanted. The brunette then reverted his attention back to the brown-haired boy.

‘’I know. It’s just... you guys were having so much fun and I didn’t want to hold you guys back...’’

‘’You’re not holding us back and you have a right to say what’s on your mind. It’s okay to say no. You’re our friend now, and friends shouldn’t fear being honest,’’ Jean said confidently.

‘’I’m your... friend ?’’ Bertholdt repeated the word twice in his head. He couldn’t believe his ears. Maybe he had heard that wrong. He had just met them, so they couldn’t possibly be his...

‘’Of course you are !’’ Marco declared in a heartbeat.

Bertholdt felt his eyes well up upon hearing those words, but he wiped the tears off before they could even begin their descent on his cheeks. He had already cried enough tears during the last couple of days. A light rub on his shoulder made him turn around in surprise. It was Reiner, giving him the most heartwarming smile yet.

  


‘’Come on, let’s move,'' he spoke softly.

  


Bertholdt collected himself and gave him a faint smile before following his lead. He felt more at ease knowing the rest of the attractions were pretty tame next to the frightening train.

He continued on with the rest of the crew to another alley, transfixed by the neon lights getting brighter, lighting the way up to the most imposing attraction of all. The Ferris wheel.

It stood there like an unmovable national treasure, its countless cabins dangling in the sky and projecting iridescent lights. It was a beautiful, hypnotic spectacle that stole the show in Bertholdt’s eyes. There were so many attractions to try out, but what he truly wanted, more than anything else, was to go up the wheel and have a better view of the dazzling night sky.

‘’Bumper cars, anyone ?’’ Reiner inquired.

‘’Bring it on ! But you know you’re actually asking for a beating, right ?’’ Jean probed boldly.

‘’Here we go again...’’ Marco sighed.

  


_Friends shouldn’t fear being honest._ So If he had the chance to express a wish, then maybe, just maybe...

  


‘’Um, guys...’’ Bertholdt tentatively began, drawing their undivided attention.

‘’Yeah ?’’ Jean’s voice turned tremulous. He was waiting for something to happen.

‘’Can we, uh-- I-I want to go up the Ferris wheel ! Can we try it out first ? Please...’’ Bertholdt blurted out. They seemed taken aback by the sudden change of intonation, but he soon relaxed when a smile appeared on their lips.

  


‘’Anything you want, Bertholdt,’’ Reiner stated with the biggest smile of all.


	8. Meeting (Part II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, y'all ! Here's the second and last part of the date. I feel like this one took me ages to write, whew ! There were so many things I wanted to see happen in this chapter so I'm okay with the way I wrote it, I guess ? I don't even know, lol. Let me know what you think, though. :)
> 
> Anyway, stay safe and hydrated, dear readers !

As they reached the highest point of the observation wheel, it became crystal-clear to Reiner why Bertholdt had suddenly expressed his wish to board it. The view was breathtakingly brilliant, in every sense of the word.

The black velvet of the cloudless night sky was embellished by the pale crescent moon shining like silver and the stars, glittering like polished diamonds, illuminated the peaceful firmament. Trost had rarely known such a stellar night.

Bertholdt was sitting right in front of him, completely absorbed by the lovely sight. Reiner wished he could only see himself at that moment because it was all so ordinary next to him. His pretty face was gently pressed against the glass cabin and his hands were retreated in the pockets of his preppy blue overcoat, effortlessly emphasizing his demure and elegant appearance. The brilliance of the stars paled in comparison with his incandescent, mesmerizing green orbs twinkling like peridot stones. His beauty was everything. Incredible. Ethereal. Unmatched.

‘’Does it meet your expectations, Bertholdt ?’’ Jean asked abruptly. The sudden interrogation made Reiner, sitting right next to him, jump out of his daze.

‘’It’s even better than I imagined. I never thought the city could look this pretty...’’ Bertholdt replied almost breathlessly.

‘’I know ! It’s a shame people tend to forget that Trost is commonly known as the city of light. Most of its buildings are made so that light can be easily reflected. It’s brilliant architecture, if you ask me,’’ Marco explained knowledgeably. ‘’Oh, and did you know that it is mostly renowned for being the city of luck and opportunities ?’’

‘’Um, no, I don’t think I did...’’ Bertholdt gave a slow, sad smile that painfully lifted the corners of his mouth. Reiner observed him with watchful eyes. 

‘’Well, they say that once you grow up or even set foot in this city, your hopes and dreams will eventually come true. Whether it’s about relationships or work or... anything, really,’’ Marco gesticulated.

‘’But you must have a decent amount of luck for that to happen. ‘Eventually’ is the key word to some people,’’ Jean pointed out with an emphasis on the word. He rose his voice just enough so that Reiner knew he would have to take it personally. And it eventually worked.

‘’Gimme a fucking break with that shit, Jean.’’

‘’What ? I mean, it sucks but it’s the damn truth.’’

‘’What is ?’’ Bertholdt inquired delicately.

‘’Um, n-nothing. Don’t listen to this dummy,’’ Reiner interjected, lightly punching Jean’s shoulder in retaliation.

There were a handful of things that couldn’t be said right then and there. He couldn’t let Bertholdt know he had failed being a professional football player and that he had already been in four disastrous relationships. Not the kind of stuff one would say on a first date. If he only knew about his miserable life and how it had been punctuated by those consecutive failures, he would probably run for his life and that would result in his hopes and dreams being crushed. Again. For now, these details were better left unsaid. 

The wheels spun three more rounds before the end of the starry dream, but the night was not over yet. They still had a few more attractions to get into before the after party at Levi’s bar, where they would usually drink themselves stupid. However, Reiner made a mental note to have no more than two glasses of alcohol this time around. Though he couldn’t wait to let the liquid burn inside of him, the responsibility to take Bertholdt home was too much to bear. What if something happened to him ? Reiner wouldn’t stomach it.  
He could let Bertholdt get a hold of the wheel but what if he got tipsy as well ? Reiner almost snorted thinking about an unimaginable concept such as drunk Bertholdt. Now that would be some wild stuff. 

‘’Thank you for accepting my request, guys. I really appreciate it...’’ Bertholdt spoke timidly. 

‘’Hey, you don’t have to be so formal with us,’’ Jean replied. ‘’We would have boarded the wheel regardless. Because of Reiner.’’

‘’Huh ? What are you on about ?’’ Reiner frowned.

‘’Well, didn’t you want to catch a shooting star like you always do ? You know, for good luck.’’

‘’C’mon, I’ve stopped doing that for a whole ass year now,’’ Reiner huffed. If Jean’s strategy was to embarrass him in front of his date, it was going very smoothly thus far. He was taking perverse pleasure in doing just that. Oh well, karma will eventually catch up with him. ‘’By the way, I’m still game for the bumper cars. Seems like you’ve been trying to make me forget all about it with your luck talk. I wonder why ?’’

‘’In your dreams ! I did say I was going to crush you !’’ Jean claimed with determination, giving Reiner a friendly punch on the shoulder.

‘’Oh boy... our chances of survival are compromised with those two at the wheel. Right, Bertholdt ?’’ Marco asked with a good-natured laugh.

Bertholdt’s lips curved into a sincere, bashful smile. ‘’Um, I think Reiner is a very good driver, actually...’’

‘’Don’t tell him that, Bertholdt ! He’ll never shut up about his so-called driving skills now,’’ Jean grumbled.

‘’Well, I heard nothing but facts just now. Get used to it,’’ Reiner said smugly before mouthing a quick thanks to Bertholdt. That was actually the first compliment he had gotten from the brunette, if he wasn’t mistaken. He was making progress. 

They took place in the electric cars, feeling like carefree kids in a matter of minutes. Reiner maneuvered the steering wheel like he would any other vehicle, making the car glide on the rink with effortless ease. The other participants barely mattered as his foot only focused on the accelerator and his mind on Jean’s car smacking into his own or the enclosure. 

His eyes, however, were multitasking.

How could he make Jean eat dust properly when he had this gorgeous specimen sitting right next to him ?  
Between his impeccable side profile and his endless legs occupying the space, Reiner did not know which way to turn anymore. He was even feeling his curves against his own hips ! It was intolerable torture.  
His gaze lingered on the brunette while keeping a vigilant eye on the wild arena. Bertholdt was giving him directions with tremendous enthusiasm. Though he still retained some of his natural shyness, he seemed at least serene enough to let work take a backseat in his mind. Reiner could tell he was fully living in the moment now, and it made for a pretty damn appealing sight. Invigorating, even.

‘’You’re awfully excited about this,’’ Reiner remarked teasingly while dodging one of the cars with brazen success.

‘’I-I am ?’’

‘’Yeah. I’m not complaining, though. You make an excellent guide, you know that ?’’

‘’Thank me later, Reiner. Right now, you should keep your eyes on the road if you want to come out on top.’’

‘’Damn, you’re taking this seriously.’’

‘’You aren’t ?’’

‘’Whoa, hold up right there ! I can’t handle all the sass !’’ Reiner let out an incredulous laugh at the unexpected jab. Who knew there could be such a quick tongue underneath the blatant introversion ? 

‘’Look out, they’re coming our way !’’ Bertholdt exclaimed, noticing the couple about to plow into them.

‘’Not on my watch,’’ Reiner answered as he reversed the vehicle just in time to avoid a direct hit. The car drew on its last reserves from the ceiling to enable the action as an alarm rang out, announcing the end of the battle. Reiner turned to Bertholdt and wore a triumphant smile as soon as the game came to a close. ‘’Looks like we did it, co-pilot.’’

‘’Yeah. It was tough, but we ended up winning somehow,’’ Bertholdt responded humbly. Somehow ? Nope, they had completely trounced them.

‘’Fuck, we were so close !’’ Jean slammed a hand onto the wheel in frustration. It had been their last attempt, and he had failed making the slightest scratch on the rubber bumper, while Reiner had gotten at least two hits in. Marco smiled fondly at the winning team, unfazed by the crushing defeat. It was typical Marco to just enjoy the ride without worrying about wins and losses. ‘’Damn, you’re good.’’

‘’See ? Bertholdt warned you,’’ Reiner stated, raising his eyebrows with impudence. He got off the platform with victorious energy. ‘’Still, I feel disappointed. I was looking for a beating, after all. Right, bro ?’’

‘’Yeah, okay, no need to rub it in. We got our asses handed to us. Happy ?’’ Jean huffed.

‘’I like the sound of that,’’ Reiner flashed an empathetic smile, this time around. ‘’One more before we hit the road ?’’

‘’How about this one ?’’ Bertholdt asked, pointing at the attraction facing the bumper cars. A shooting game. Good lord.  
Reiner scratched his temple. Yeah, Bertholdt, no. He was embarrassingly bad at those. 

The old yet energetic owner of the stall noticed the sudden interest in their eyes and gesticulated, motioning them to spend their money away. Reiner looked at the prizes displayed behind the owner and above the balloons that served as targets. Wait a damn sec... The first prize was an official ball from the Stohess football club. THE Stohess football club. What the fuck was it doing here ? He had to have it at all costs. It looked so good with its shiny golden logo as well as its white and green patterns on the sides. Couldn’t he just pay for it ? Ugh.

‘’Let’s do this ! And this time, we’re going to win,’’ Jean claimed, as prideful as ever.

‘’When did this become a competition, Jean ?’’ Marco inquired.

‘’It’s always been a competition, babe,’’ Jean smirked. ‘’What do you say, Reiner ? One final showdown to settle the score, just you and me.’’

Well, the challenge had to be accepted to get the damn prize but going through the whole ordeal just to claim it ? Reiner was not having it.

‘’Um... d-do you mind if I stand in for you, Reiner ? I think... I can win this,’’ Bertholdt declared softly. 

‘’Sure, go ahead. You know your way around those ?’’ Reiner frowned.

‘’I know the basics, I guess,’’ Bertholdt replied with the same sweetness in his voice while getting closer to the stall. He looked hesitant, but Reiner was pretty certain he would not fare any better. Might as well take a backseat for the time being.

‘’Hey, Bertholdt. I won’t pull any punches just because we’re friends now, just sayin’,’’ Jean rose his voice confidently. 

‘’I’m fine with that, Jean. Let’s do our best.’’

‘’Careful, big boy,’’ the old man warned Bertholdt before handing him the loaded weapon. ‘’It takes a few tries before you start getting the hang of it. I hope you spared a few coins for your sake.’’

‘’Um, y-yes, sir...’’

Bertholdt propped the grip of the rifle against his shoulder and positioned himself right in front of the floating balloons, gathering himself with imperturbable focus . Reiner eyed the moving targets with concentration, though he was having trouble keeping up with their movement speed. Knowing his luck, he’d have probably shot the old geezer right in the middle of his wrinkled forehead. 

‘’Come on, Bertholdt, we’re wai--’’

Jean’s taunting was immediately cut short by the faint popping sound of a balloon resounding in the night air. The three of them along with the stall owner could only gape at the deadly precision. Bertholdt had just hit the bull’s eye with his first shot, effortlessly. Reiner watched him as he reloaded his gun, an aura of determination radiating from him.  
Not only was he stunningly beautiful, he was also badass as hell ! What the actual fuck ?  
They stood there utterly dumbfounded as the balloons kept getting popped with merciless intent, one after the other, until Bertholdt made sure nothing moved anymore. He had just fired every single bullet with mind-blowing marksmanship. Qualifying the sight as unbelievable would be an understatement.

‘’Holy fucking shit...’’ Reiner muttered in utter disbelief.

‘’Was that really... Bertholdt just now ?’’ Marco probed with the same incredulous tone. 

‘’I think that’s all of them,’’ Bertholdt said matter-of-factly, laying the gun on his side. ‘’It’s your turn, Jean. Good luck !’’

‘’I’ll sit this one out,’’ Jean stated, straight-faced. 

Reiner held back a loud guffaw at the sudden withdrawal. Bertholdt didn’t seem to understand the sheer humiliation he had just bestowed on the brown-haired boy. If there was someone not pulling punches around here, it was Bertholdt.

‘’Oh. Does that... make me the winner ?’’

‘’You got that right, buddy,’’ the owner exclaimed with a laugh. ‘’I’ve never seen someone firing all shots without missing once. You’re quite remarkable, pal !’’

‘’Th-thanks...’’

‘’Here, take your reward, champ. It’s a pretty rare thing to have so don’t misplace it, alright ?’’ 

‘’Yes, sir. It will be in good hands,’’ Bertholdt smiled, gladly taking the ball into his hands before spinning on his heels and joining his friends a few inches away from him.

‘’Bertholdt, that was amazing ! I’ve never seen such excellent aim while trying this stand !’’ Marco exclaimed energetically.

‘’Thank you, Marco. I didn’t think I’d win, I’m quite surprised...’’ 

‘’Yeah, you were crazy good. I mean, you made Jean give up, which basically never happens,’’ Reiner cast a sly glance at Jean, who had just come to terms with his defeat. ‘’How did you learn all of that ?’’

‘’Um, I’ve had some practice,’’ Bertholdt merely replied, reverting to his timid stance. ‘’Uh, a-anyway, th-this is for you, Reiner.’’

‘’Wait, are you serious ?’’ Reiner raised his eyebrows in surprise. ‘’I mean, you won it with your skills. It’s yours.’’ 

‘’I-I know but... you’re more of a football fan than I am.. so I think you’ll need it more than I do.’’

‘’Damn, th-thanks,’’ Reiner muttered faintly, retrieving the prestigious ball from Bertholdt’s hands. ‘’But wait, how do you know I’m into football ? I don’t think I’ve ever told you that.’’

‘’The jacket gives it away, dumbass,’’ Jean face-palmed, earning giggles from Marco and Bertholdt while Reiner looked slightly abashed. ‘’Anyway, I gotta admit you were really good, Bertholdt. Don’t think I would’ve even competed for a tie.’’

‘’Thanks, Jean. We can have a rematch if you’re interested.’’

‘’Nah, I’m good,’’ Jean laughed. ‘’Well, that was fun and all but I need a good drink to forget about the thrashing I just went through. Levi’s bar ?’’

‘’Now you’re talking ! Let’s move,’’ Reiner grinned.

Reiner waited for Bertholdt to get one last look at the wheel and relish the vibrant atmosphere before they all made an about-face, feeling content with themselves. Reiner was transfixed by the collector ball on his hands all the way to the car. Bertholdt had not probably realized it earlier, but he had just given him the best Christmas present he could have hoped for. He couldn’t wait to return the favor and shower him with more gifts. Anything Bertholdt would want, he’d provide. As long as his credit card was all right with that.

Soon enough, the group had quickly left the noisy throng of people for the tranquility of Reiner’s car. Jean and Marco settled in the rear seat while Bertholdt sat on the front passenger seat, almost by habit. Reiner sank into relaxation on his seat as he drove away from the plaza and got into the city of stone and glass, which now laid restful and serene. The cool air slipping through the half-opened windows kept him alert and energetic and the soothing flow of the waterway tenderly reached his ears. There were quite a few misconceptions about the city, namely the opportunity and luck drivel, but one thing about Trost was legit. It really was a beautiful city at night.

They parked and passed through the terrace of the bar, mildly crowded. A thin cloud of smoke and the enthusiastic tinkle of glass on glass welcomed them as Reiner pushed the door open. The place was packed, but they weren’t crammed in like sardines either. It looked the same as usual, save for the unfamiliar presence behind the counter.  
Reiner recognized the strong-featured blond man in an instant. Captain Erwin Smith. He was standing next to Levi, looking unperturbed as he thoughtlessly filled the cups of intoxicated regulars. Poor guy was definitely being bossed around. Just what had happened in the last two weeks ?  
Reiner and Jean approached the counter as their eyes, gleaming with curiosity, met Levi’s unamused stare.

‘’Oh, it’s you brats. You came to pester me again ?’’ Levi asked blankly.

‘’We come in peace, promise !’’ Jean surrendered amusingly.

‘’I doubt that. Who’s the beanpole ? Friend of yours ?’’

‘’Hey, he has a name,’’ Reiner frowned. ‘’It’s Bertholdt.’’

‘’Um, hello--’’ Bertholdt began.

‘’Okay. What’ll you get ?’’ Levi probed dismissively.

‘’Lager,’’ Reiner answered. Jean and Marco requested the same.

‘’What about you ?’’ Levi turned to Bertholdt with the same blasé attitude.

‘’Um, I’ll just... I’ll have a glass of lemonade, please.’’

‘’Wait, what ? You sure about that, Bertholdt ? C’mon, it’s a fucking party !’’ Jean nudged the brunette in the arm.

‘’Yeah, um, I don’t really enjoy alcohol. I’m quite the lightweight, anyway,’’ Bertholdt chuckled awkwardly.

‘’You do you, I guess.’’

‘’Got it. There’s a table near the window over there. Move along before it goes to other little shits.’’ Levi huffed.

‘’Okay, got the message,’’ Reiner rolled his eyes discreetly. He was able to muster enough mental strength to sit uncomplainingly at his table, which was actually decent this time around. But still, it wasn’t right to treat Bertholdt this way. He had literally done nothing to warrant the cold reaction from the midget. Oh well. Bertholdt didn’t seem too bothered about it, at least.

‘’Don’t mind him, Bertholdt. He’s actually nice when you get to know him a little,’’ Marco assured.

‘’Hm ? Oh, it’s all right. I’m not upset...’’ Bertholdt responded as he took his coat and scarf off, his gentle gaze meeting Reiner’s concerned look. A faint smile quickly dispelled his worries.

Reiner’s gaze lingered on the brunette for a moment. Moonlight drifted in through the window and reflected in his attractive green eyes. His anthracite knit sweater suited him to the ground and enhanced his beauty. With each passing day, he looked a little more perfect. If only he could-

‘’Reiner,’’ a silken feminine voice began. ‘’Reiner ?’’

‘’Hm ? Oh, Petra. Yeah ?’’ Reiner cocked an eyebrow.

‘’Your beer’s here. Did you hit your head or something ?’’ A confused frown creased her forehead.

‘’What ?’’ Reiner returned the bewildered look and turned to his friends. They all had the same look, as a matter of fact.

‘’Uh, you were zoning out. Got something on your mind ?’’ Jean smirked before eating his words as Reiner pitilessly stomped on his foot. It wasn’t the right time to tease, not with Bertholdt and Marco staring at him in bewilderment. Petra didn’t even try to understand the situation as she rushed to another table with commendable professionalism.

‘’Nah, you’re putting me to sleep.’’

‘’Then I’m glad I could help, Don Quixote.’’

‘’You didn’t, horsey.’’

‘’Hey, I was being--’’

‘’Here we go again. Weren’t you guys begging for a drink ?’’ Marco interjected.

Reiner watched the freckled boy sip on his beer with mild irritation. The rare sight instantly defused the situation and caught him by surprise, so he chose to settle down and steal a glance at Bertholdt. Again. His glass of lemonade was now empty. His hand, buried in his sleeve, rested on his chin as he looked utterly transfixed by something.

‘’Are you all right, Bertholdt ?’’ Marco probed lightly.

‘’Hm ? Oh, um, yeah, I’m okay.’’

‘’Looks like we have a few dreamers on the team,’’ Jean snorted. ‘’You’ve been looking at that piano for a hot minute now.’’

‘’Yeah, sorry about that...’’

‘’Do you know how to play ?’’ Marco’s eyes twinkled.

‘’A little, I guess,’’ the brunette answered with a timid smile.

‘’Oh yeah. Come to think of it, you did have that grand piano at your apartment,’’ Reiner thought out loud.

‘’You’ve been to his place already ?!’’ Jean’s sudden gasp turned into a smirk then a grimace as he earned himself another angry stamp on the foot.

‘’Why don’t you play us something, then ?’’ Marco inquired.

‘’W-what ? B-but there are so many people in here, and t-they probably won’t enjoy it anyway !’’ Bertholdt stuttered discreetly.

‘’So ? Music is made for people to hear, isn’t it ?’’ Reiner raised his eyebrows in amusement. ‘’And how do you know they won’t like it ? You won’t know unless you try, remember ?’’

‘’I know you’re right but... I don’t know... Can I ?’’

‘’It’s free to use, as far as I can tell.’’ Reiner grinned.

‘’Okay, then...’’ Bertholdt mumbled before getting off his seat, nervously making his way through the tables and inebriated customers and swiveling the spotless piano stool, all under Reiner’s watchful gaze. 

The sounds of hysterical laughter and tinkling glass went on until the beautiful resonance of a first piano note enveloped the place in utter quietness and inactivity.  
All eyes were now fixed on the tall brunette. Even Levi’s unimpressed stare, his trademark, shone with a glint of curiosity.

Reiner couldn’t get a clear view of Bertholdt’s face from where he stood, but he couldn’t take his eyes off him either. Black strands of hair danced to the slow rhythm as his head deliberately lolled forward with intense emotion and his slender silhouette swayed along with the music. His dexterous fingers glided over the keys with astounding ease and transported the audience as they played the dreamy composition.

With each nod of his head, his presence became an aura pervading the entire room. Chills ran up and down Reiner’s spine while listening to the sound of Bertholdt’s hands dancing on the ivory keys, carefully drifting across them. Reiner felt every note like a lover’s touch, gentle and intimate, aiming for his most sensitive parts. His heart was the first organ to fall into the delicate fingers.

As the crescendo came on - the highlight of the performance, at this point - the experience became even more transcending. The mass of cheering drunkards who were obstructing the view soon turned into a gigantic blur, except for him. Though the piece sounded grave and melancholy, it felt strangely warm and tender to Reiner. It felt exactly like dripping honey tickling his taste buds and sunlight caressing his cold limbs. It felt extremely pleasurable.

The melody of the climax humbly vibrated in the air as Bertholdt straightened himself up a little more, letting his entranced spectators know the masterful performance was about to end. The last note faded beautifully in everyone’s ears and in a flash, everything was back to normal. Light and noise were brought back into life itself and also brought Reiner back to reality. The sound of roaring cheers filled the room when Bertholdt, as modest and embarrassed as ever, faced the enthusiastic audience with his gaze fixed on the ground. 

Reiner’s eyes gleamed with pride at the sight of the handsome virtuoso finally descending from the heavens to return to their world. He still felt somewhat unreachable, but he was also exposing himself in ways Reiner had never thought possible. There was still much to discover, but Reiner was starting to know him a little better at last. 

He would have to thank Annie at all costs for her idea that had now become utterly brilliant because this single date had sealed the deal for him. He had known Bertholdt for almost three weeks now, and it came as a fact that he didn’t simply like him. No.

He was falling hard for Bertholdt.

*

Bertholdt remained motionless on the piano stool for a moment, his eyes blinking automatically in pure incomprehension. He had never garnered such loud acclaim before, for anything. Playing Chopin wasn’t anything extraordinary to him and didn’t warrant the thunderous applause and standing ovation, but this entirely new feeling provided him with warmth that swelled inside of him, and he would gladly accept it. Being considered as somebody for an instant... it was liberating.  
Between the overly appreciative women and the old drunkards spluttering compliments to his face, it was difficult for Bertholdt to reach his friends and Reiner but he managed nonetheless.

‘’Bertholdt, that was absolutely incredible !’’ Marco exclaimed with a mirthful smile. Reiner had not lied one bit. He really was one of the kindest people to grace this corrupted world, though he tended to praise him a little too much. His performance wasn’t that good. ‘’That piece you were playing... I feel like I’ve heard it before.’’

‘’Um, that was one of Chopin’s nocturnes. One of his most famous, actually,’’ Bertholdt’s eyes lit up.

‘’Never heard of it. But, anyhow, you made us keep our mouths shut the entire time. It was fucking crazy !’’ Jean gasped. ‘’What did you think, Reiner ?’’

‘’It was, um... perfect,’’ Reiner mumbled almost incoherently. 

‘’What ?! That’s it ? That’s all you’ve got to say after hearing this masterpiece ?’’ Jean gesticulated. The array of questions made Reiner scowl.

The comment might have been extremely vague to anyone in the vicinity, but it pleased Bertholdt to no end once the genuine praise reached his reddened ears. He had been so nervous right before the performance as he had barely played on a Yamaha piano. Once or twice, as far as he could remember. The sound wasn’t quite the same as the piano he had at the residential area so he was afraid it would somehow alter the resonance. However, if Reiner had liked it... maybe it meant that it had not been that bad after all.  
Bertholdt turned around and looked down when he sensed an intimidating presence behind his back.

‘’You did pretty good, brat,’’ Levi said, his voice as stony as usual. ‘’If you ever feel like playing some tunes on that piano, feel free.’’

‘’Th-thank you, sir. It would be my pleasure !’’ Bertholdt exclaimed gratefully, performing a slight bow as a thank-you gesture. The corners of Levi’s mouth curled up into the faintest smile for a mere second.

‘’You two,’’ Levi abruptly began, pointing at Reiner and Jean. ‘’You’re going to help me store the goods we’ve just received. Follow me.’’ It was meant to sound like an order judging by their faces.

‘’We’ll be right back,’’ Jean dropped a kiss on Marco’s lips before heading to the kitchen, trailing behind Levi. 

Reiner lingered on the spot for a moment, seemingly lost in his thoughts. Bertholdt felt like he was about to say something.

‘’I, uh... I know it’s getting late but I’ll be as quick as possible, promise. Just... wait for me, okay ?’’

‘’I’m not going anywhere, Reiner,’’ Bertholdt replied with a fond smile, and Reiner merrily returned it. He then made for the kitchen in a hurry, leaving him and Marco at their table. 

Bertholdt let his eyes wander about, relishing the warmth that enveloped the whole place. The young students laughing hysterically, the old men yelling about an intense football game projected on the cheap television, the women gossiping about people’s misfortunes and outrageous love affairs... It was a whole new world to him. It exuded happiness and joie de vivre, unlike the tense, cruel environment he had grown up in and he would have to return there once Reiner was done helping out. He felt obligated to go back there.

‘’Hey, Bertholdt ?’’ Marco’s soothing voice pulled him out of his daze.

‘’Yes ?’’

‘’Wanna go up to the rooftop ? The view doesn’t come close to the one we had on the wheel, but it’s pretty nice regardless.’’

‘’Mm, sure. I need some fresh air, anyway,’’ Bertholdt answered with a light smile as he stood up. 

They took the spiral staircase at the back of the bar and breathed the cold air in as soon as they pushed the door to the open terrace. Marco was right. Though the view at the wheel was much more enchanting, the sight remained pleasing to the eye. The moon was hanging amid the bright starlight, glimmering incessantly in the dark, infinite sky. The stars were all gathered around it, as if they were forming a protective barrier, whispering to the silver orb that it was not alone, that they were here. Bertholdt envied the moon. Fingers snapped in front of his face, bringing him out of his nocturnal dream.

‘’Looks like Jean made quite a sensible observation about you guys being dreamers,’’ Marco chuckled. 

‘’Huh ? You were saying something ?’’ Bertholdt probed with a surprised look.

‘’I was asking you about your performance,’’ Marco laughed. ‘’How long have you been playing the piano ?’’

‘’Um, I’d say... about three years, maybe ?’’

‘’I see. I guess it must take that much to get to your level. Are you self-taught ?’’

‘’Um...no. Someone... taught me how to play,’’ Bertholdt answered, looking wistfully at the starry sky.

‘’Well, that person must be a pretty talented teacher. We used to have a good one back in high school, it was so much fun to have music classes,’’ Marco said with a hint of nostalgia, before adding with a gentle laugh. ‘’Especially when Reiner got to play any instrument.’’

‘’What do you mean ?’’ Bertholdt asked curiously.

‘’Let’s just say our ears have been through a lot.’’

‘’Was it that bad ?’’ Bertholdt covered his mouth with a hand.

‘’Yeah, I’m not kidding but don’t tell him. It makes him angry,’’ Marco laughed even harder. ‘’It’s all right, though. He shines in other areas.’’

‘’What are they ?’’

‘’Well, he’s the idler type but when he gets to it, he’s an amazing cook. He’s also a fast learner when it comes to physical activities and will beat you in anything, no matter how hard you try. Oh, and he’s an excellent manual worker. He’s basically everyone’s repairman,’’ Marco chuckled lightly.

‘’Th-that’s great...’’ Bertholdt muttered nervously, developing a pink tinge on his cheeks. Reiner did have strong and heavy hands, from what he could see at work. They somewhat reflected his feisty personality.

‘’I know ! And most importantly...’’ Marco let a few seconds pass.

‘’Most importantly ?’’ Bertholdt swallowed. He knew curiosity killed the cat, but he couldn’t help wondering about Reiner’s finest quality.

‘’He doesn’t need a reason to help anyone and he’ll always stick by your side when things get tough. As Jean would say, he’s a fucking amazing friend !’’ Marco exclaimed with a hearty laugh.

‘’M-Marco ! Did you just swear ?’’ Bertholdt’s eyes widened. His face was glistening with sweat.

Marco ran a hand through his hair in embarrassment. ‘’Y-yeah, sorry about that. I can’t believe one single beer is making me act up like this.’’ 

‘’W-why are you telling me all this ?’’ 

‘’You know why,’’ Marco flashed him a sly smile, leaving him bewildered and redder than before. Did Marco... know ? ‘’In any case, I want you to know that Jean and I are also here for you so if there’s anything troubling you, you can tell us.’’

‘’Thanks, Marco... You’re really kind.’’

‘’Not at all. I mean it,’’ Marco smiled, then paused for a few seconds, preparing the ground for a new topic of conversation. ‘’Say, what are you planning for Christmas ?’’

‘’I don’t really know yet. It’s in five days so it leaves me some time to think about it. Why do you ask ?’’

‘’Well, I’ll spend the day with my family but I’ll be free next week, on the twenty-seventh. We could spend the day together or something. What do you say ?’’ Marco offered.

Bertholdt’s eyes lit up at the sound of the proposition. ‘’I would really like that. Should I... give you my phone number ?’’

‘’Um, yeah, that would be a good idea,’’ Marco chuckled lightly as he typed Bertholdt’s number on his contact list. Good thing Marco wasn’t mocking him for his awkwardness, at least. ‘’It’s going to be so much fun !’’

‘’Yeah...’’ Bertholdt whispered softly.

‘’Anyway, it’s getting kinda cold,’’ Marco shivered. ‘’The boys are probably done. Do you want to head back ?’’

‘’Sure, let’s get back,’’ Bertholdt exhaled with a faint, but genuine smile.

They headed back down, leaving the quietness of the rooftop for the continuous agitation of the bar. Reiner and Jean were expecting them at their table. They were slumped on their seats and seemed barely engaged in a conversation. 

‘’Are you two okay ? You look like you’ve gone through hell,’’ Marco frowned, a look of amusement plastered on his face.

‘’You can say that again. His so-called ‘goods’ were goddamn heavy !’’ Jean spat venomously.

‘’Yeah. What the fuck was in those boxes anyway ?’’ Reiner asked with the same intonation, glancing at the counter where the short man was filling more cups with liquor. He had totally forgotten about them.

‘’Beats me.’’

‘’Anyway, now that you guys are here, we might as well go back home. Are you ready to go, Bertholdt ?’’ Reiner asked, leaving enough change on the table to cover the bill. Bertholdt nodded while putting his coat on and adjusting his scarf around his neck. ‘’What about you guys ?’’

‘’I’m not done drinking, which means Marco’s staying with me.’’ Jean cast a seductive look at his boyfriend. The freckled boy raised his eyebrows in surprise.

‘’I don’t have to, but I will. We don’t want you to make another mess here like that one time, remember ?’’ Marco sighed wearily.

‘’Come on, babe, it was a one-time thing ! I can easily control myself,’’ Jean answered pridefully.

‘’Sure,’’ Reiner rolled his eyes. ‘’Ah, anyway, thanks for the wild night, guys. It was epic, as usual.’’ 

‘’Anytime. Careful on the way home, alright ?’’ Jean extended his hand for a bro fist, letting Reiner make hard contact with it. The two friends ended up sporting a goofy grin. Marco and Bertholdt welcomed the warm and friendly energy with pleasure. They had been laughably impossible for the most part.

‘’Yeah. Let’s get going, Bertholdt.’’

Bertholdt took the time to wave goodbye to the couple before following Reiner and exiting the place. Tonight had been so much fun ! In a matter of hours, he had made friends that were looking after him, even offering him to spend time with them. It all felt quite unreal being thrown into a world of light and compassion so suddenly. He felt like he was on another planet, but once he got past the strange impression, his heart burst with happiness.  
The pleasant feeling remained as they drove back to the meeting point, chatting about Jean and Marco, about Levi’s attitude, and the night as a whole. However, Bertholdt felt a pang of sadness while Reiner pulled over by the sidewalk. It meant the night was over. It meant stepping back into his cruel world. It meant leaving Reiner.

‘’We’ve arrived,’’ Reiner stated matter-of-factly. ‘’I, uh... I’m glad you accepted to come along.’’

‘’O-oh, um, I’m glad I did, Reiner. Thank you again for the invitation, I really had a lot of fun.’’ 

‘’Yeah, you look like you did. I didn’t know you were this talented with a gun or a piano. Apples and oranges,’’ Reiner snorted.

Bertholdt felt heat rising to his cheeks, turning away from the golden eyes looking at him amusingly. ‘’It’s nothing much, really. You were much more impressive when we got to the bumper cars, and--’’

Bertholdt stopped in his tracks at once, disconcerted by a strong whiff of cologne tickling his nostrils and the faint sound of an unbuckled seat belt. Sensing a movement, he snapped his head to the side and directly met Reiner’s face. The moonlight reflected through the windshield and illuminated his flaxen hair, as well as his irresistible amber eyes. His face was so close Bertholdt could smell the overpowering citrusy scent off his neck, and it was then, in the dimly lit vehicle, that Reiner’s lips crashed powerfully against his.

His eyes widened immensely at the sudden gesture but the shock was quickly alleviated by Reiner’s potent mouth, moving against his with absolute passion and gentleness. Bertholdt held back tears as hard as he could while feeling the sudden burst of emotion pouring out from Reiner. He was touching him so respectfully, tracing the line of his cheekbone like one would when reading a precious book. Bertholdt couldn’t fight the automatic movement of his own lips against Reiner’s, still retaining a faint, intoxicating taste of alcohol. 

Reiner deepened the kiss when Bertholdt let out a muffled moan, making it sound wet and noisy out of pure, unrestrained excitement. Their lips connected and danced together until the need for air constrained them to pull away and take a deep breath.

‘’Reiner...’’ Bertholdt whispered while pulling away.

‘’Sorry... but I’ve been wanting to do that ever since I saw you in the meeting room back at the company,’’ Reiner managed to say through heavy panting. Bertholdt’s face grew a bright, deep red. 

‘’I-I feel the same...’’ Bertholdt stammered. 

‘’Wait, seriously ?’’ Reiner looked at him in disbelief, before laughing heartily. ‘’I’m glad I made the first move, then.’’

Bertholdt turned his face away again, which only made Reiner’s laughter even more boisterous.

‘’So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then ?’’ 

‘’Yes. See you tomorrow, Reiner,’’ Bertholdt nodded while opening the passenger door. 

‘’Wait !’’ Reiner interjected, making Bertholdt turn around in nervous stupor. ‘’Just for the record... your performance earlier was more than perfect. You were the only one I could see at the bar.’’

Bertholdt flashed him a big smile, his hands hugging his coat in delight. ‘’Thank you, Reiner. I’m glad you liked it.’’

‘’Nah, thanks to you and thanks for the ball. Anyway, I’ll get going, now. Text me when you get home, okay ?’’ Bertholdt nodded. ‘’Sleep tight... Bertl.’’

The brunette blinked in astonishment and felt like his complexion was about to turn permanently red. Of course, Reiner waited until the nickname hit Bertholdt in the face before leaving his parking spot with the most satisfying grin.  
It was time to head back now, but his feet refused to budge, persistently glued to the asphalt floor because his mind was still elsewhere, recollecting the plaza, the laughter, the bar, the praise, the new friends, the kiss. Reiner.

The frosty wind whispered the name in his ears and consequently breathed new life into him. 

He could move again.


	9. Nothingness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys ! Back with a new chapter... and not the happiest one. Like, at all. ;_;  
> Oof, it was actually hard to write and I had to scratch a few overly descriptive bits because it was getting a bit much. Thank goodness this is one of the few heavy ones, tbh !
> 
> /!\ Warning : There are slight graphic depictions of violence, psychological abuse and anxiety. Please take that into consideration before going any further.
> 
> Let me know what you think about the chapter. The character choice for Bert's "BF" (if we can even call him that) may feel weird but since it's an AU, I just thought 'why not ?' Let me know if that was unexpected or if you had any suspicions, etc... I'm interested ! =)

It was as though the kiss had rendered him totally impervious to the ruthless cold, as a whole new kind of warmth washed over his skin and met the beat of his pounding, melting heart. Bertholdt just couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help touching his lips, tracing them delicately with his finger, chewing and sucking on them to keep the crisp and mellow taste of beer fresh.

He couldn’t help smiling.

He couldn’t help smiling because of what Reiner had said. It was the way he had said it, especially. A breathless, brazen confession delivered with unabashed honesty. Now that a few days had passed since their fortuitous encounter, Bertholdt could tell it was so Reiner to say things so spontaneously. He could still hardly believe it as the words kept ringing in his ears, still glowing red. Did he really catch Reiner’s eye the moment he introduced himself at the company ? It was all so surreal to him. To be noticed. To be seen. To be sought after by someone as attractive and outgoing as Reiner. He did not know how to cope with this feeling that maybe, just maybe he wasn’t as uninteresting and undeserving as he had previously thought. Bertholdt pulled his scarf up to his nose.

He couldn’t help smiling.

The low hum of traffic in the distance eventually made him realize he had just gotten into the clean, high class neighborhood that was meant to be his world. He could smell the preparation of gastronomic cuisine from the inside of kitchens and hear glasses and dishes clinking against tabletops as well as muffled chatter behind sumptuous fiberglass windows. He could see the cold, terrifying white walls of the narrow street that led up to his building and usually towered over him, making him feel microscopic in spite of his impressive height.

And yet, none of those things, the very things that regularly unnerved him and made him physically gag, seemed to have any particular effect on him tonight. He was there, advancing serenely into the district, his feet patting gently against the pavement, his face fixed on the starlit sky as there lied the reason why he was currently unafraid. The stars were still watching over the forsaken moon, enveloping it with their astounding brightness. The stars were watching over him, and he just couldn’t help smiling. He was overjoyed.

He entered the fancy and spotless apartment complex, pausing to let his body adapt to the bizarre change of temperature. He could feel a moderate amount of heat circulating all over his limbs, which was unsurprising considering he had just taken shelter, but this ambient coldness pervading the hallway... it came from elsewhere, and it was anything but natural. Still, he knew it all too well.

He stood in the entrance hall for a brief moment, trying to shake off the mild yet sudden discomfort taking over his body. His lips were quivering through the persistent smile.

_You’re okay. Everything’s okay._

He walked quietly and cautiously towards the elevator and pressed the button on the wall, next to the silver doors. It glowed a bright red. He looked up and waited for the elevator to come down. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... His gaze drifted to the entrance door. His legs grew restless. Five, four, three, two, one... He took a deep breath, and exhaled shakily. Another breath, and another exhalation. The smile was gone.

Zero.

The metallic doors opened and his eyes predictably met his reflection in the mirror. He got inside and quickly averted his eyes from it as it had become an habit to escape the gaze of his pathetic replica as much as possible. All of his insecurities were perceptible in those unexcited eyes and that unassertive stance. Pressing the button to his floor, Bertholdt faced his own self and tried again. The doors closed behind him and the elevator moved up.

_Smile. You’re not alone anymore._

Like a mantra, he repeated the words until they would ease the mental unrest. He breathed in and breathed out, smiling a little more uncertainly but obstinately with each passing second. As the exercise went on, Bertholdt could feel it. He could feel it was a futile effort. He could feel his anxiety creeping into his mind, rearing its ugly, beastly head. He could feel a hurricane of symptoms ravaging his insides and its debilitating grip on his body. An unbearable heaviness surged in his stomach as if it were carrying a pile of solid lead. His heart was palpitating, his hands were trembling in his pockets and he was experiencing the same occasional hot flash and shortness of breath.

_Jean, Marco, Annie, Reiner..._

That’s it. He just had to think about them. They would calm him down, surely.

As he got out of the elevator, Bertholdt hurriedly leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing to quell the excruciating panic attack. The names of his friends, as well as Reiner’s name, kept accelerating inside his head and he uttered them in faint whispers like his life depended on it. For a fleeting moment, he felt like it had helped him expel some of the toxins and control the overpowering fright. He wiped the sweat off his forehead, fished his keys out of his pocket and with a last exhalation, made for the apartment door at the end of the corridor.

The brief moment of respite instantly vanished when Bertholdt reached for the doorknob. There was sound. There was activity. Was it... the television ? Someone was here- no, _he_ was here. Why ? Why was he here tonight ? The tyrant was rarely here. He was too busy being invited to upscale parties and events where he would enjoy the company of other young men behind closed doors. Bertholdt knew it and hardly cared. The feelings for him were long gone. Nonexistent.

Now, it was all about his feelings, his own struggle for survival. What mattered now was that anything could happen behind that door and once he would get past it, he would have to endure and survive. Again.

He had to move first, but couldn’t just yet. Darkness ruled the air around him. Underneath his feet was a black rift, a bottomless abyss that threatened to engulf his entire being. The darkness was physical, compressing his body with considerable strength, weighing on his shoulders with clear disregard for his temporary state of incapacity. He felt sick with dread.

It took him more than a minute to feel his cold blood rushing through his limbs and finally move a finger, a hand then an arm. One last breath managed to reach his lungs before he inserted the key and pushed the door open with extreme discretion.

Bertholdt closed the door behind him and slowly turned around.

There he was, leaning against the sofa with his head slightly poking out while watching some political or business program from the bits and pieces Bertholdt could collect. A pungent and poisonous smell of cigar smoke filled the malevolent air in the dimly lit room.

‘’You’re back,’’ the man uttered blankly. His cold, inexpressive tone sent chills all over Bertholdt’s body. He could never get used to it. ‘’Where have you been ? It’s awfully late.’’

Bertholdt’s gait turned unsteady, almost ataxic, as he got closer to face the man who kept his gaze on the television. There was a vacant look in his unblinking eyes, as though the presence or absence of any being in the room barely mattered.

‘’O-oh, um, I-I wasn’t very far... I was... I just needed some air,’’ Bertholdt answered with downcast eyes. His voice was painfully wobbly.

Waiting for a reaction, he cast a quick glance at the sleek acrylic coffee table where an empty glass and a half-consumed bottle of whisky stood. There was the reason why he hated alcohol, why he wouldn’t even entertain the idea to drink the filthy liquid. If Jean could only see the man, maybe he would understand his choice at the bar. He would always choose a refreshing glass of lemonade over any kind of alcohol, not to mention the beverage also multiplied the tyrant’s anger tenfold.

Bertholdt shook his head mentally. Whether the man was inebriated or not, the consequences would remain the same.

The monster straightened himself up and got off the couch. Bertholdt slightly flinched from the movement, then remained still and completely stiff. He could feel the sudden paralysis he had experienced back at the plaza. He was utterly petrified with fear. The man got closer, and closer, and closer... what was going to happen to him ? Bertholdt closed his eyes.

His muscles relaxed when a calloused hand grazed his cheek with a surprisingly soft touch. Bertholdt opened his eyes.

‘’I see. My poor Bertholdt, you were suffocating in here, weren’t you ?’’ The man probed with a sympathetic tone of voice.

‘’A-a little, yes...’’

‘’And there can’t be anything worse than that now, can it ?’’

‘’Y-yes...’’

The mad man leaned forward. ‘’Except lying. Lying to me is the worst thing you could do,’’ the mad man whispered in his ear. Bertholdt froze and held his breath, shaken to the core upon hearing the cold, menacing voice.

‘’B-but it’s true, I was just--’’

‘’Bertholdt, Bertholdt, Bertholdt... you’re making matters worse,’’ the cruel man tuted into his ear. ‘’I was there for a moment, you know ? I’m glad you were having fun.’’

Bertholdt trembled. W-what ? He-he was at the plaza ? When ? Where ? Wh-what did he see, exactly ? Bertholdt felt his head spinning wildly. He knew there was no point in lying but he felt compelled to lie, for his own survival. Lying was a way to protect himself. He wanted to say something, but the words wouldn’t come out.

‘’That’s strange. I can smell someone’s cologne off of you,’’ the man said quizzically. ‘’Is it... Reiner Braun ? I saw him there with two other men. Friends of his, I assume ?’’

The mention of his name on the man’s venomous lips was blood-curdling. How ? How did he know Reiner ? Did he meet him somewhere ? At the company ? Ah, but of course. The man was friends with Mr Magath and it was all thanks to that connection he had gotten that job, after all. But... when ? Bertholdt stared into the void, lost in another dimension, invaded by a continuous flow of nerve-wracking questions. What if... what if he tried to hurt Reiner ? N-no ! Bertholdt felt like he needed to speak up. He had to speak up.

‘’I-I’m sorry, Willy ! Rei-- Mr Braun offered me to relax after this long week, and I thought it would help me feel a little less tired ! A-and I know I shouldn’t have accepted but--’’

‘’It’s all right, Bertholdt, it’s all right. I’m willing to turn a blind eye to this one misstep,’’ the man exhaled, patting the brunette’s shoulders lightly.

Bertholdt’s eyes welled up. ‘’R-really ? You... forgive me ?’’

'’But of course. What wouldn’t I do for your pretty face ?’’ Willy smiled. Bertholdt smiled through the tears and wiped them off with the back of his hand. ‘’Now, how about playing me a nice little piece to make amends ?’’

There couldn’t have been a worse request to express. Bertholdt couldn’t stand playing any piece while he was watching. It was a source of intense pressure as he knew the man had next to no tolerance for mistakes. Besides, he still felt so weak and exhausted from his panic attack mere minutes ago.

‘’But... isn’t it quite late to play ? It’s almost midnight--’’

‘’My bad, Bertholdt. I should have worded it differently. It was an order,’’ the tyrant said sternly. ‘’You’re going to play me a piece. Now take your place.’’

Bertholdt nodded faintly, took off his coat, laid it on the couch, walked over to the lustrous black Steinway, and did as instructed.

‘’Splendid ! Mmm, what do I want to hear tonight ?’’ The twisted man wondered while flicking through the numerous file folders on one of the shelves, where the music sheets were stored. Bertholdt watched him with high apprehension.There was impending evil underneath the noxious enthusiasm. The way the question sounded had him petrified.

_Which body part is going to help me blow off steam tonight ?_

That’s what it sounded like.

‘’Oh, I know ! I think I want to listen to ‘Danse Macabre’ tonight. It’s been a long time since I last heard it, and you play it so well ! Here you go,’’ he merely said, putting the score on the music stand, waiting for the brunette to perform the piece.

Bertholdt swallowed. The piece was quite a difficult one, and he was certain the psychopath had chosen it on purpose. A piece about creatures rising from the depths of hell to perform a diabolical dance in the dead of night ? Of course. He should have expected such an alarming yet predictable choice from him.

He made sure he had the right posture to perform the demanding piece and, with a nimble finger, he started playing the same ominous first note, striking midnight along with the clock. While his fingers were playing the eerie melody dramatically, he cast a quick glance at the man to see how he was behaving. He was humming the tune and nodding along to it with his eyes closed, lulled by its frightful sound. Bertholdt didn’t understand how such a piece was able to elicit pleasure. It was incredibly spine-chilling.

He felt like he was being transported to the darkest place imaginable, chased by a presence that could be felt yet not seen and just as he thought a glimmer of hope could be discerned in the piece, a terrifying beast was running after him. He could only make out sharp-edged fangs and claws, and those eyes... they were thirsty for his blood. As he reached the maddening crescendo, his muscles started feeling tense, like the monstrous shape was breathing on his neck, ready to make him bleed to death. His fingers kept on gliding across the keys, building tension while he was struggling to run away. Fear and helplessness quickly settled in, and Bertholdt wondered how long he would last before being eaten alive. It was all in the tritone.

‘’Yes, yes ! Oh, you are so talented, my beloved Bertholdt ! You really are my most perfect creation !’’ The delirious man exclaimed, carried away by his own mad dance.

Bertholdt kept on delivering the notes with admirable precision, though he soon realized he was gradually losing his concentration. He couldn’t help thinking about his performance just a few hours ago. This feeling that people were finally starting to notice him... he wished he could experience it once more. He was living the dream at that particular moment. But now, the performance was entirely different. He was back to his own twisted reality. Gone were the loud cheers and the warm lights. Gone was-- Reiner. What was Reiner doing right now ? Was he asleep ? And--

Oh no.

‘’What was that ugly note just now ? Stay focused, Bertholdt,’’ the man threatened, sending a shiver down Bertholdt’s spine. The sharp tone of his voice made him commit a second mistake. Bertholdt knew it. He knew it was inevitable. He knew he would succumb to the overwhelming pressure.

‘’I-I’m sorry, Willy. I don’t know...what’s happening. I-I’ll play it from the beginning,’’ Bertholdt nervously offered.

‘’Give me your hand, Bertholdt.’’

‘’Please...’’

‘’Do I have to repeat myself ?’’

Extending his trembling right hand, Bertholdt could only do as instructed. He couldn’t make the man any angrier. He was already burning with white-hot anger. It was written all over his face.

Bertholdt bit his lip in anticipation while the man carefully traced his long fingers, knowing that one of them would have to go through a painful ordeal.

And so it happened. Bertholdt held back a scream and barely whimpered when the man twisted his little finger without restraint. The brunette held his wrist with his other hand, focusing on ways to alleviate the pain through his mental. He raised his head to take a hard look at the man, who was looking down on him with the same angry eyes.

‘’What’s with that look ?’’ The man asked with undisguised contempt. Bertholdt was aware of the defiant look plastered on his own face, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t love the man back, or what may have felt like love in the early days of their relationship was no more.The man had taught him how to hunt, play the piano for genteel crowds and put on a fake smile for three long years, making him more of an android with each passing day. A soulless machine. An empty shell. A nobody. He hated that man with a burning passion.

As if his thoughts had been uttered out loud, a callous hand made hard contact with his cheek, making him fall off the piano stool and on the cold, hard floor. Bertholdt exhaled a shaky sigh and brought a hand to his wounded cheek. The bitter, metallic taste of blood filled his mouth. That blow was not meant to be concealed. It was imbued with pure, unadulterated fury and sheer disgust for his being. Hatred was stamped all over the mad man’s contorted face.

And the real trial began shortly after. The stream of kicks that poured down on him like acid rain, the failed attempts at bracing himself for the pain, the feelings of helplessness and despair, the screams that remained on his throat, knowing that not a single soul in this infernal place would dare interfere. The usual.

Reiner. Where was Reiner ? Maybe he was still out there. Just... behind that door.

He crawled towards the safe place, and grunted when another hit made contact with his skin. The man grabbed a fistful of his black hair and tugged at it, making Bertholdt face him.

‘’It’s your fault, again,’’ the man stated coldly.

‘’I’m sorry...’’ Bertholdt mumbled. He just had to apologize. It was always his fault, after all.

‘’Remember this, Bertholdt. You’re worthless to anyone but me. I’m the only one who loves you, because you’re nothingness.’’

Love ? The words sounded incoherent and cut through him like glass, but something managed to provoke the unclear thoughts in his head. Maybe his presence was superfluous. Maybe he was this infinitesimal speck of dust in the eyes of other people. Maybe he embodied nothingness, if the man had said so.

‘’I won’t be here for a week come tomorrow. I expect you to be reasonable and stay here once you’re done with work. Cross me on this and there will be repercussions,’’ the man spat, turning his back to him. ‘’And you’re sleeping on the couch tonight.’’

With that being said, the man stood up, went to his bedroom and slammed the door shut, leaving the brunette on the living-room floor as if nothing had happened.

He couldn’t help crying.

He couldn’t help crying because of what the man had said. He had already heard similar words before but this time around, they were delivered and reformulated in a way that pitilessly shattered his spirit. It couldn’t be true. He couldn’t be worthless. Jean and Marco didn’t think so. Annie didn’t think so. Reiner didn’t think so... right ? Right ?!

Bertholdt got back up and settled on the couch with a pounding headache. His eyes widened when he saw his coat lying on the side. His phone... his phone was still inside one of the pockets ! He fumbled with it, all the while glancing behind him to see if the man would suddenly appear again.

He finally got a hold of it and noted that he had received four messages. All from Reiner.

Reiner - ****11:34 PM**** : _Hey beautiful, did you make it home safely ?_

Reiner - ****11:48 PM**** : _???_

Reiner - ****00:12 AM**** : _Bertholdt, are you okay ? Did something happen ??_

Reiner - ****00:13 AM**** : _You’re probably asleep, I guess..._

He couldn’t help crying.

Part of him wanted to leave Reiner hanging and not even respond to him. Reiner couldn’t get involved and be burdened by matters that did not concern him. But that other part of him... it wanted to answer Reiner. It wanted to fall into his arms, to be told that it was all going to be okay. And so...

Bertholdt - ****00:17 AM**** : _Hey Reiner. I’m sorry for not replying to you earlier. I did make it home, don’t worry. I was hungry so I decided to cook something and I wasn’t able to see your texts until now. I’m okay !_

Bertholdt sighed and wiped a tear trickling down his red cheek. A faint buzzing startled him.

Reiner - ****00:18 AM**** : _Thank god, I was getting worried AF for a sec !!! I get it. Sorry for being annoying, haha_

Reiner - ****00:18 AM**** : _I’ll let you get some rest. Just don’t eat too much or you won’t be able to sleep, K ?_

Bertholdt - ****00:19 AM**** : _I won’t... and you’re not annoying. Thank you, Reiner. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good night._

Reiner - ****00:19 AM**** : _Yeah, see you tomorrow. Good night, Bertl ! ;)_

Bertholdt sniffled, then exhaled. The tears were still threatening to fall down, but he managed to crack a smile nonetheless. A genuine smile.

He lied down on the couch and curled up under his warm coat that would serve as a blanket for the inevitably short night. Then, he hid his phone under his pillow, keeping in mind his brief exchange with Reiner.

The barrier that had protected him from the cold an hour ago had worn off, but deep down inside, he could feel it. He could feel that the warmth was not entirely gone.

He desperately held on to that flicker of light and shut his eyes, drifting away in the oppressive darkness.


	10. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all ! Moving on to chapter 10, now ! ^_^  
> This one is quieter and features more introspection than the previous one (still has some angst though, oops), and it sets a few things up that may or may not happen in the next few chapters. It's all about perspective and parallels... but I'll let you read and find out for yourself, lol. 
> 
> Oh, and I might as well take the opportunity to thank you all so much for reading, commenting and appreciating the story. It means a whole lot to me ! :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy this one, and as always, take care !

Reiner exhaled a satisfied sigh as he ate his breakfast heartily.

There was just nothing better than an avocado toast in the morning. The tropical fruit had always been one of his obsessions. It was nutrient-dense, smooth, creamy and green. A deep green... like those bright and soft eyes that brought along with them the advent of a radiant sunshine and a flowery, perpetual spring.

_Ah, Bertl._

An involuntary snort escaped him the moment his hopelessly and stupidly romantic thoughts gained ground in his mind, but he just couldn’t do much about them. It was who he was, and Bertholdt was all he could think about anyway. Yesterday had been a glorious day from start to finish, according to his principles. He had gotten to know Bertholdt better and managed to show himself in his best light, remaining protective and considerate through and through, earning him Bertholdt’s trust. That’s what he hoped, at least. And that kiss... that kiss was nothing short of divine.

He could still picture the moment, thinking about Bertholdt’s delicious lips melting like warm chocolate in his mouth and the enthusiasm with which his lips had responded to his audacious gesture. It was the way his round, magnetic emerald eyes fluttered to a close when they connected and how his aquatic and sultry scent, enhanced by notes of almond and coconut, intoxicated him and made him eager to drop a flurry of passionate kisses on his sun-kissed neck. Now, he hoped he could score another date so that--

His mind went blank when he felt the blood drain from his face, knowing exactly where it was going. He mechanically stroked his member, twitching uncontrollably through his gray sweatpants, and admonished himself for letting his imagination run wild as well as the burning desire he had managed to repress temporarily resurface every time he dreamed of the brunette. How long before his impatience got the better of him ? How long until his propensity for cutting corners went out of control ?

A blush seared through his cheeks and made his face feel hot like fire when he heard his phone vibrating loudly on the wooden table. His mom. He hurriedly swallowed the mouthful of breakfast stuck on his throat and awkwardly scooped his phone up while trying to regain his composure.

‘’Hello ? Reiner ?’’ She spoke tentatively.

‘’Yeah, mom, ‘can hear you just fine. How are you doing ?’’

‘’Just great ! A little better, actually. I found some time to rest up a little, even with Falco and Gabi. I swear, those two just can’t stop arguing over trifles,’’ she chirped. ‘’How is my lovely son doing ?’’

‘’Oh, y’know, the daily grind,’’ Reiner responded tiredly, filling the sink with one more dirty plate.

‘’I see. Well, I hope you’re eating and sleeping well.’’

Reiner hummed as confirmation and paused for a moment. He considered sharing the news about him and Bertholdt. Was it the right time to tell his mother ? How would she react ? She did say she wanted him to find someone else but she had been so disappointed by his previous boyfriends she gradually lost patience every time he introduced the wrong ones to her. But Bertholdt... Bertholdt was different.

‘’I, uh...’’

‘’Mm ? Yes, dear ?’’

‘’Just wanted to tell you... I met someone.’’

A gasp of wonder could be heard on the other end of the phone, though Reiner wasn’t too sure of her reaction until she started speaking.

‘’Oh my, Reiner... did I hear that correctly ?’’ He rolled his eyes at the sudden, overdramatic burst of emotion in her voice. ‘’That’s delightful news ! Who is he ? Where does he-’’

‘’Mom--’’

‘’-work ? Is he kind ? Oh, I do hope he is the sweetest, because those other men you went out with... well, they were pure garb--’’

‘’Mom, can I just... talk ?’’

‘’Of course, dear,’’ she chuckled lightly.

‘’His name’s Bertholdt. He works at the company too, and... he’s a really nice bookworm, yeah.’’

Reiner shook his head, puzzled by his own comment associating Bertholdt’s love for books with kindness but he knew what his mother wanted to hear. She wanted him to find an elegant and intelligent boyfriend. Someone who was both reliable and kind. Someone who could talk about music and theatre and literature. Reiner never understood her endless screeds about any of these subjects but Bertholdt surely would decipher it all. Bertholdt was the ideal man. The real deal.

‘’Bertholdt ? Mmm, sounds rather foreign,’’ she said inquisitively. ‘’Well, if he is cultured, that already seals the deal in my book !’’

‘’I knew you’d say that,’’ Reiner snorted.

‘’I can just tell I’m going to love him !’’ She exclaimed before letting her excessive enthusiasm take over. ‘’Oh, I know ! Why don’t you invite him to the house for dinner ? For Christmas Eve, I mean.’’

Reiner rolled his eyes as though he had seen it coming from a mile away. ‘’Eh, I don’t know, Mom... He probably has plans for the day, you know.’’

‘’Nonsense !’’ She exclaimed. ‘’Honey, if he is your boyfriend, then he must--’’

‘’Wait, he’s not my--’’

‘’--be with the family and have dinner with us.’’

‘’I--’’

‘’You’ll ask him, won’t you ?’’

Reiner pinched the bridge of his nose. When it came to his mother, he just couldn’t get a word in edgeways. Were all mothers like this ? He paid no mind to his annoyance and thought about his mother’s offer.

There was the opportunity for a second date. Well, it could hardly be considered as a date but it was at least another chance to catch Bertholdt outside of work. Besides, he had already expressed his interest in his family while they were driving to the plaza yesterday so... maybe he would accept meeting him once more ? It was worth giving a shot.

Reiner exhaled. ‘’Fine, I’ll ask him.’’

As expected, a warm rush of elation could be sensed in her voice at the sound of the short and sweet answer. She assured him she would arrange everything so that Bertholdt would leave the house beguiled and well-fed. Reiner didn’t doubt her words for a second. He knew she would pull out all the stops for the man he was currently seeing, especially if said man was particularly artsy and distinguished.

He barely had any time to address the unfolding of the night’s events, most notably her tendency to ask intrusive questions and share embarrassing anecdotes about him, as she hung up on him once she got the response she so desired to hear. But he was always the rude one, of course.

Reiner sighed then made for his bedroom, quickly getting himself ready for what was going to be quite a challenging day and headed for work. A broad smile crossed his face as he cast one last appreciative glance at the prized possession sitting on top of his cupboard.

Upon arriving at the company hallway, Reiner thought the place was strangely quiet but then remembered they were just four days away from Christmas, the wildest and most crucial time of the year to achieve a massive turnover.

The others were probably cloistered away in their respective offices, too busy designing upcoming products, planning partnerships with new tycoons or simply meeting deadlines set by Magath. A whole barrel of fun.

All of that barely mattered when he caught sight of Bertholdt, looking as imperturbable as ever while typing away at the computer behind his well-kept desk. It felt blissful knowing that the day began with the vision of his angelic face, now looking in his direction. He seemed slightly tired, which was rather understandable considering they had gone home much later than initially planned. Reiner felt a pang of guilt knowing Bertholdt had told him he wanted to go home early so that he would be well-rested for work. He hoped Bertholdt wouldn’t be too mad about it, and he would definitely apologize later.

‘’Good morning, Mr Hoover,’’ Reiner whispered seductively, tracing a finger over the golden plaque bearing the brunette’s name.

‘’Good morning, Reiner,’’ Bertholdt replied with a gentle smile, still oblivious to the blond’s flirtatious behavior.

A casual greeting to some, sweet music to his ears.

Reiner couldn’t take his eyes off him. He was dressed in this fine brown check suit, paired with a simple shirt and tie that went beautifully together with the bold outfit. Though Reiner had no problem stepping out of his comfort zone, he had a feeling the patterned suit would look downright stupid on him. Maybe he could learn a thing or two from Bertholdt.

He was also wearing... gloves ? Reiner was bemused as to why he had them on, even though the brown leather matched his chic ensemble to a T. The place was excessively heated.

Hell, he had been here for a hot minute and his armpits were drenched even with a white t-shirt underneath his jacket. 

‘’You sure you wanna keep these on ?’’ Reiner asked amusingly while pointing at the gloves, perplexed as to how Bertholdt even managed to type anything with them. ‘’It’s scorching hot in here because of you.’’

A smirk of triumph rose to his lips when the playful, straightforward remark successfully made Bertholdt’s face crimson red.

‘’I, um... I-I don’t know about that, Reiner. I-I’m a bit cold, actually,’’ Bertholdt stammered, much to Reiner’s delight. ‘’I... thought it’d be more careful to put these on after the weather we had yesterday. My fingers were so red, remember ?’’

‘’M’yeah, I guess you’re right,’’ Reiner said, nodding empathetically. ‘’Hey, by the way, did you eat well yesterday ? The late night cooking threw me off a little, but I guess you must’ve been starving, huh ? Sorry about that.’’

Reiner scratched the back of his head as he recalled last night’s events, thinking his stupid ass had not even realized they had skipped dinner for their first date. Jean and Marco were too busy staring hungrily at each other to even be aware of the fact, he thought. Bertholdt should have said something.

The brunette watched him with a confused expression, tapping his desk nervously. ‘’Did I... o-oh, right ! I, um... I made myself a quick salade niçoise, nothing too demanding. It was pretty good and light enough so I-I didn’t feel too bloated when I went to bed.’’

‘’That’s good to hear,‘’ Reiner chirped dreamily before glancing at the clock above Bertholdt’s desk. ‘’Well anyway, I should probably get to my office now.’’

‘’Yes, you should,’’ Bertholdt whispered discreetly, making sure no one was in the vicinity. ‘’Mr Magath passed through my desk earlier and he had this, um... scary look, you know ?’’

‘’Ah, wait, don’t tell me... you mean this one ?’’ Reiner asked humorously, mimicking the man’s intimidating gaze with uncanny resemblance. ‘’Did I nail it ?’’

‘’Th-that’s exactly it !’’

Reiner’s lips curved into a large winning grin when Bertholdt attempted to stifle a chuckle. He needed more of this.

‘’Well damn, then that’s my cue to leave before he gets on my ass. I’ll catch you at lunch, then ?’’ Reiner asked expectantly.

Bertholdt nodded sheepishly. ‘’Yes, I’ll see you later, Reiner.’’

‘’Later, Bertl !’’

Reiner hurriedly reached his office and released a defeated sigh as he noticed the mountain of paperwork on his desk and that goddamned report he had to drop on Magath’s nagging at him, but he wouldn’t remain reluctant to finalize it for too long.

His department had worked hard enough to investigate new approaches and establish plans for future research so he had to fulfill his responsibilities, he thought. All he really had to do was to read through all the numbers and objectives and solutions gathered on the bothersome pile of documents, and just... condense all of that information. He allowed himself to huff loudly, knowing he would be - practically - safe in his office. Would he do all of that shit ? Well yeah, but he just wasn’t in the mood for work, especially when last night’s events were still carved into his mind.

That ball Bertholdt had gifted him meant the world to him and instantly brought him back to simpler times, when he was just a high schooler on the cusp of becoming a prominent football player. It all felt effortlessly easy having the strength and the drive and the leadership to join the ranks of the most prestigious football team in the country. If only his father had not interfered, then maybe he would not have been caged within this large, airless room. If only his departure had not taken such a heavy toll on his mother’s health, then maybe he would not have been so selfless as to give up on his dream career. If only he had stuck to the initial trajectory of his life , then maybe...

Maybe he would not have met Bertholdt. _Win some, lose some._

A low chuckle escaped his lips as his thoughts unsurprisingly drifted to the brunette. It was all thanks to him the place was a little more bearable, excluding the whole gang of friends. Reiner couldn’t help but smile knowing his questionable choices had somehow made their worlds collide, had made it possible for him to be right there, on the first floor, acting with boundless devotion for his work and his goals. Bertholdt would definitely achieve his dream of becoming a teacher. He would make sure of that, because... prioritizing Bertholdt over anything else couldn’t be just another mistake.

The pleasant thought became somewhat of an incentive to get back to work and complete the pesky report. He could then unwind once the demanding period was over. Maybe relish a good drink and hang out with Jean or Annie ? _Or Bertholdt._

Morning went by pretty quickly as he took the files off the voluminous stack of papers and typed away at his computer, producing what he ultimately regarded as a convincing report by the time the clock struck twelve. He made his way to Magath’s extravagant office and gave him the coveted report, assuring him that he had scrutinized the collected data and read the document twice before handing it over.

Reiner exhaled a sigh of relief as soon as he got out of his office, rewarded with a grateful smile and appreciative words from his boss. Now, he could finally sit down and sink his teeth into his lunch.

He hastened to get to the terrace, passing through Bertholdt who told him he would join the gang as soon as he finished updating calendars and scheduling Magath’s appointments. His tasks were just as tedious as his, if not more so, Reiner thought.

He kept on making his way to the terrace and instantly felt lighter as the doors slid open and the sun, shining brightly through the glass ceiling, caressed his face. The place was warm and flowery; it contrasted with the stifling nature of the metallic building. It was usually calm, too. That is, when Porco was not around.

But there he was, gesticulating like a puppet while the others sat quietly and enjoyed their food. Reiner took out his lunchbox, filled to the top with rice salad, and sat inconspicuously on the edge of the table while exchanging a knowing glance with Annie.

‘'Jesus Christ, I don’t know what the hell he’s stressed for,’’ Porco grumbled, assaulting the air with his fork. ‘’The products are selling just fine, the deals have been going on without a hitch... Seriously, what more does the old man want ?’’

‘’Keep it down, Porco,’’ Marcel said softly, barely avoiding one of his brother’s abrupt gestures. ‘’You know the walls have ears in here. He’ll come down on you if he catches wind of that.’’

‘’And you can kiss a potential raise goodbye if that happens,’’ Pieck added.

‘’Like I care ! Besides, I should be paid way more considering what I’m doing. Hell, I should even be promoted to VP but the choices in this place- go figure.’’

Reiner smirked, knowing the snarky comment was directed at him.

‘’Guess the old man knows a talent when he sees one.’’

‘’Why you--’’

Porco cut himself short as all heads turned to the doors, sliding open and revealing Bertholdt’s slender, elegant silhouette. His soothing presence immediately pacified the group, making the place quieter as he sat down between Reiner and Annie.

‘’Good thing you’re here. The table manners in here are a tragedy,’’ Annie exhaled a sigh of relief, making Bertholdt chuckle.

‘’Have you eaten already, Bert ?’’ Pieck asked merrily.

A sheepish smile crossed Bertholdt’s face. ‘’No. I, um... forgot to make myself lunch, actually.’’

‘’Here, have some of mine,’’ Reiner offered, bringing his lunchbox closer to Bertholdt.

‘’Eh ? But Reiner, that’s your meal. I can’t--’’

‘’It’s yours too, now.’’

‘’But--’’

‘’Bertholdt Hoover, I will not let you get through the day without eating,’’ Reiner scolded him, all the while forcing a fork into his hand. Bertholdt stiffened. ‘’You need to eat. Besides, I’ve made so much I could feed a whole army. C’mon, you’ll love it !’’

‘’I’d accept if I were you, Bert. Reiner’s too proud of his cooking to back off,’’ Marcel teased, earning him a frown from Reiner.

‘’I guess I will. Thank you, Reiner,’’ Bertholdt replied, timidly digging into the meal. Reiner waited expectantly for his review. His lips curved into a smile as Bertholdt couldn’t help but give a soft hum of contentment. ‘’This is delicious, Reiner. I feel much better now.’’

‘’Told you so,’’ Reiner grinned as he got rewarded with a light smile from the brunette.

‘’I have some extra pasta if you want some, Bert,’’ Porco offered enthusiastically.

‘’Thank you, Porco. That’s very k--’’

‘’He already has plenty to eat,’’ Reiner interjected, eyes narrowed into a cold glare.

‘’I wasn’t talking to you,’’ Porco replied, his voice laced with venom. His expression softened when his gaze drifted to Bertholdt. ‘’By the way, why don’t you take your gloves off ? Germaphobe ?’’

‘’He’s cold.’’

‘’Jesus, Reiner. What are you, his mother ? Why don’t you just sit there and eat your food ?’’ Porco huffed. ‘’I’m pretty sure he can speak for himself if he wants to. Right, Bert ?’’

‘’Um... yeah,’’ Bertholdt mumbled, eyes downcast.

‘’We know, Bert, we know,’’ Annie said, patting Bertholdt’s shoulder lightly. ‘’Anyway, how was your date night yesterday ? I did say I wanted a debrief, Reiner.’’

‘’A-Annie !’’

Reiner felt a grain of rice go the wrong way at the suddenness of Annie’s question, asked with her trademark impassivity. Some sort of warning wouldn’t have hurt but he should have known Annie wouldn’t necessarily wait until they could talk about it privately. It’s not like it was meant to be a secret either, in retrospect. He almost lost his composure when he saw Bertholdt not knowing what to do with himself, Pieck and Marcel seeming mildly amused and Porco being... dumbfounded.

‘’It was great, thank you very much,’’ Reiner replied confidently, putting a hand on Bertholdt’s shoulder and rubbing it lightly. Bertholdt looked naturally distraught.

‘’Eh ? Wait, I’m not following. You’re telling me you guys are-- eh ?’’ Porco’s jaw dropped.

‘’Took you long enough to figure it out. Guess that’s what happens when you can only think with your dick,’’ Reiner said with a cocky smile.

‘’Yeah well, that’s one thing I have over you among other things,’’ Porco replied with the same arrogance. ‘’Anyway, just tell me if the brute ever starts to mistreat you, Bert. I’ll knock some good sense into him.’’

Bertholdt laughed nervously, at a loss for words.

‘’Okay, this is getting embarrassing. Can you spare us the dick talk, at least ? We’re trying to eat here,’’ Annie said, drawing up her face in an expression of disgust.

‘’I don’t mind it,’’ Pieck said seductively before bringing her glass of water to her mouth.

An awkward silence ensued and some took it as a signal to exit the room. Annie got up and left without a word, then Marcel who merely replied he was done eating, and then Bertholdt who stammered while explaining he had to get back to work. And that was when Reiner felt he couldn’t stay there any longer, knowing he had started it and given Pieck easy ammunition for the embarrassing remark. He stood up, leaving Porco and Pieck alone together, and hurriedly retreated to his office.

He ran a hand through his hair as he sat on his chair. Unless it was Bertholdt, he decided there had been enough interaction for the day.

*

Bertholdt exhaled a defeated sigh as he stared at the computer screen, trying his hardest to keep focused.

It was already four in the afternoon and he had barely made progress on the rest of his work. He just couldn’t believe Reiner had basically confirmed they were... dating ? The sudden gesture had astounded him just as much as Porco. He felt a wave of heat rising to his cheeks.

Reiner was right, he thought. The place was more than well-equipped to fight against the cold of the winter. It was a literal furnace.

He ran a hand through his forehead and glanced to his sides before gingerly removing his gloves. His hands, covered with moisture, were finally getting a chance to breathe. Bertholdt gladly welcomed the pleasant feeling.

His eyes, however, grew wistful when he finally laid them on his carefully bandaged finger. He had not confronted the bruise for hours, even though the slight pulsating pain from the injured nerve required considerable effort to ignore. A pang of sadness seized him as he realized just how much he had lied again. It couldn’t be helped since lying was surviving, but... It hurt to put on a mask in front of his friends. It hurt to calculate each and every gesture. It hurt to pretend he was fine. It really hurt to have to lie. To himself. To everyone. To Reiner. How long before the carefully fabricated web of lies untangled itself ? How long until the noose tightened around his neck ? 

He attempted to redirect his focus on his work, but not even his industriousness could prevent the swirling gamut of thoughts from reverberating in his mind. Thoughts about last night, which had been both a dream and a nightmare.

No matter how hard he was trying, Bertholdt simply couldn’t stay focused so he decided to treat himself to a much needed break. Otherwise, the same dreadful images would keep on tormenting him and he would not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

He rose to his feet and headed to the terrace, where he enjoyed the vision of bright-colored flowers and the sound of water gushing off the small fountain. The place almost looked like a botanical garden. It was doubtlessly the most beautiful and peaceful spot in the building.

He took time to lean down and inhale the sweet scent of the flowers, blooming in shades of pink, purple and blue. For a brief moment, he felt good. He felt safe.

‘’Those are... hydrangeas, aren’t they ?’’ A husky voice asked, breaking the silence. Startled by the sudden manifestation of sound, Bertholdt abruptly turned around. 

‘’R-Reiner- um, yes, they are my favorites, I think,’’ Bertholdt replied with a bashful smile.

‘’Oh ? I’ll keep that in mind,’’ Reiner cooed, moving closer to where Bertholdt stood. His expression became more serious. ‘’I, uh... I’m sorry about yesterday, by the way.’’

‘’Huh ? W-what do you mean ?’’ Bertholdt asked nervously.

‘’Well, you told me you didn’t want to go home too late and I kind of fucked that up,’’ Reiner laughed, scratching his neck in embarrassment. ‘’Hope you’re not too mad at me...’’

Bertholdt’s expression softened. ‘’N-not at all, Reiner. I didn’t really mind, in the end.’’

‘’That’s good to hear. Oh, and sorry about earlier, while I’m at it ! It’s just that Annie had me cornered and I thought--’’ Reiner suddenly paused, concern plastered all over his face. Bertholdt’s eyebrows gathered into a faint anxious frown until he spoke again. ‘’Hey... what happened to your finger ?’’

It took Bertholdt a few seconds to realize he had taken his gloves off and left them on his desk. It was such an idiotic mistake on his part and just as he had thought, Reiner was eyeing him suspiciously, waiting expectantly for an answer.

‘’O-oh, that ? I just, um... cut myself while I was chopping tomatoes last night. I was a little distracted and got a bit careless as you can see. I-it’s just a scratch, though,’’ Bertholdt assured, letting out a nervous chuckle in the process.

A sudden feeling of trepidation overtook him when it was Reiner’s time to frown. Maybe he had noticed... the way that laugh just now had sounded painfully contrived. Bertholdt felt both his heart and his mask drop on the floor, like glasses being smashed to a million pieces. His mind was begging for Reiner to drop the subject.

‘’Why hide it, then ?’’ Reiner asked bemusedly.

It was a valid question, really. Why would he hide the bruise if it was that trivial ? That was quite stupid of him. It would have been easier to lie about it without having to cover it up. It was his fault for being excessively cautious, and so he couldn’t blame Reiner for being quick to assume there was something wrong.

‘’I just didn’t want you and the others to worry...’’

‘’Well, now you’ve got me even more worried,’’ Reiner scolded him, putting a hand on his hip. A harmless sigh then escaped his mouth as he brought his hand forward. ‘’Give me your hand, Bertholdt.’’

Bertholdt’s lips parted in an inaudible gasp. He reflexively recoiled when the familiar, ominous words fell on his ears.

_Give me your hand, Bertholdt._

The thought made him blanch and sweat profusely. What was the matter ? It wasn’t... it wasn’t _him_. It was just Reiner. Maybe he just wanted to have a closer look at the bruise. That had to be it.

‘’W-why ? What are you going to do ?’’

‘’Just trust me,’’ Reiner responded with a warm smile.

Trust ? Could he trust Reiner ? Did Reiner... trust him ? Bertholdt couldn’t exactly tell and did not know where to stand either. The tyrant had been so unclear, telling him to blend in so as to gain people’s trust but keep his distances and not trust others blindly at the same time.

Reiner’s answer therefore left him discountenanced, but it was Reiner so there was probably nothing to be afraid of. He had such a disarming smile.

A shudder coursed through his body as he timidly extended his hand towards Reiner and closed his eyes in spite of the reassuring presence. He felt movement, and then, light pressure continuously applied to his bruised finger. A nervous giggle escaped his throat when the soft touch started tickling him and a wet sound reached his ears. What was he-

Bertholdt slowly opened his eyes.

‘’Reiner, w-what are you doing ?’’ Bertholdt asked, cheeks visibly burning red.

‘’Don’t mind me,’’ Reiner murmured, delivering feather-light kisses on Bertholdt’s finger, taking the opportunity to taste the back of his hand in the process. ‘’I‘m just... kissing the pain away. Like... this.’’

Bertholdt could only watch in disbelief as Reiner’s lips continued to linger against his skin, dropping light and fluttery kisses along the length of his finger while caressing him with his strong and warm hands.

He had never been touched like this. It felt unreal, like a distant dream. He had craved for this kind of affection for so long. Bertholdt kept on watching Reiner until he straightened himself up, his smile broadening automatically once their eyes met again.

‘’Feeling better now ?’’

Bertholdt blushed furiously. ‘’Yes... thank you, Reiner.’’

‘’Don’t mention it, Bertl,’’ Reiner replied seductively. ‘’Say, do you think I can have a kiss as a bonus ?’’

Bertholdt’s cheeks grew even redder as he gave a slight nod, looked around, making sure there were no prying eyes watching, and approached Reiner tentatively. He pressed his lips against Reiner’s, making him release a husky growl in the process. Bertholdt felt himself melting as Reiner slightly intensified the kiss, a sense of urgency lingering on his lips. It felt just as exhilarating as last night. Bertholdt let himself get lost in the moment until Reiner slowly and gently pulled away.

‘’Now we both feel better,’’ Reiner said, a smirk coming across his lips as he panted for air. Bertholdt gave him a bashful smile while catching his own breath. ‘’Hey Bertl, can I ask you something ?’’

‘’Yes?’’ Bertholdt asked, tilting his head to the side.

‘’My, uh... mom wants to have you over for Christmas Eve. Now I told her you probably had other plans but she just wouldn’t listen.’’

‘’Reiner, I...’’

‘’But I understand if you think it’s all going too fast or if you’d like to spend time with your family,’’ Reiner interjected gently. ‘’I... we’d be happy to have you over, though !’’

Bertholdt’s expression grew wistful as he took the time to think about the invitation. He felt disoriented, torn between two different sides of himself, caught up in this world where he was expected to be assertive and told to keep quiet at the same time. He feared the repercussions the cruel man had warned him about, but he also feared the disappointment that would ensue after crushing Reiner’s expectations. Bertholdt saw them in his hopeful eyes, pleading for a positive response. He couldn’t say no to Reiner. He couldn’t let go of the light, the warmth that radiated from him. Besides, the tyrant was away for a whole week, so nothing could possibly happen to him. 

‘’I-I’d be happy to come over !’’ Bertholdt exclaimed nervously. As he noticed Reiner’s astonished look, he then lowered his voice and spoke more hesitantly. ‘’If... that’s all right with you, I mean.’’

Bertholdt waited for a confirmation but the next thing he knew, Reiner took one step closer, cupped both of his cheeks and pulled him into another kiss.

He ultimately decided he could trust Reiner, because Reiner... Reiner wouldn’t hurt him.


	11. Warmth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi readers ! Okay so first off... I'm reaaaally sorry for the delay. :x I'm currently overloaded with work and there had been a few days I was honestly too tired to write anything, tbh. But things are slowly getting better and I'm starting to have some free time for myself again (yaaass !) Hopefully I'll get back to the original pace so the wait between chapters won't be too long. Just know that I'm still very much invested in the story and I'll definitely make sure to see the story to the end for you all, however long it takes. We still have a lot of chapters to look forward to, though ! :)
> 
> Anyway, on with the new chapter : it has its cute and angsty moments, you know the drill. The angst will slowly take over for a couple of chapters, from now on. You've been warned. ;_;
> 
> Hope you like this one !

Bertholdt’s tired eyes wandered away from his novel as he blankly looked out the window. The sky was charged with large tar-black clouds gathering ominously in the distance, bringing along with them the first drops of rainwater. He anchored his attention on them and the way they desperately clung to the glass, how they traced their paths completely unbothered by their trajectory, the sound they produced as they drummed against the window pane, breaking the disturbing silence in the cold living-room. 

There was nothing Christmassy about this weather. It was far from being reassuring, though it remained optimal for his customary reading sessions accompanied by a hot cup of coffee. All the requirements were met for a most tranquil afternoon and yet, he couldn’t help reflecting upon the bad dream he had just had after his short nap.

He could tell it was a worse nightmare than usually expected as he delicately grazed the scratched skin on his neck. It didn’t surprise him in the least that he vividly remembered all of it.

He found himself on the corridor. Again. It had been practically the same as it is now, dark and cavernous and panic-inducing. He could still hear his abnormally loud breathing and the mad thumping of his racing heart when he saw the door, the moment the scene became even scarier. He was trying so hard to run away as soon as he caught the first glimpse of it, but his feet... his feet had seemed to take over his mind, forcefully dragging him towards the black door all the while denying his commands, as though anything he had wished for promptly turned into frightening obligations. He knew better than to engage in a pointless fight against them and so, he had let himself get carried away by whatever forces were at work.

Then, he was brought to the living-room and instantly subdued by some sort of gravitational force pulling him downward, pinning him to the ground violently. He had wanted to move his body, but it had been to no avail. He had felt utterly paralyzed. It was the same paralysis he had experienced while being on the ghost ride, except this time, it had been anything but temporary.

At first, the scene was nothing but a massive blur as he could only make out vague shadows exerting pressure on his aching body, mainly on his neck.

When a few seconds had passed, realization had set in. The shadows were actually hands clawing at his throat with murderous intent. Willy’s hands. He was straddling and strangling him. His distorted face was rendered even more menacing with the dim lighting.

The whole scene was incredibly frightening, but it was next to nothing compared to the rest of it.

Bertholdt recalled how he had somehow managed to snap his head to the doorstep, where a familiar presence stood with its back turned. The imposing figure, the confident stance, the golden hair, the faint beam of light... it had all felt like a dream, for a brief instant. Reiner was there, but he was not particularly doing anything. He just stood there, by the threshold.

Bertholdt’s lips trembled as he reminisced using every ounce of strength left in him to call out his name. However, Reiner couldn’t hear him. No, he didn’t _want_ to hear him. He would not even look his way. He was there, yet not really there. The more he tried screaming out his name, the more Reiner faded into complete obscurity, gradually moving away from him. It was the cruelest thing he had seen in his nightmares by a long shot.

As he felt his life slowly being snuffed out, his eyes hopelessly drifted to the mad man digging into his neck with his strong and bloodthirsty hands. He came closer, his breath reeking of cigarette and alcohol, and whispered in his ear words he knew all too well.

_You’re alone, now. You’ve always been alone. Always will be._

_Now sleep._

And then he woke up, his hands clutching his throat, his legs sprawled across the bed. He wished he could blame the strange gestures on the eccentricity of his sleeping positions, but really, he was just trying to find an explanation and simply deny that he was scared. Why was he even more frightened than usual ?

His eyes fluttered to a close. He knew why.

He now had acquaintances, friends, and Reiner. That was what terrified him. It was the thought of knowing what happiness felt like that terrified him, because he knew even a semblance of it would somehow get ripped away from him. It was bound to happen. It always happened.

Bertholdt brought his cup of coffee close to his lips and inhaled the strong, caramelized aroma emanating from the beverage, the one Reiner liked so much. A light smile came across his lips as he thought of him, the first time he had tasted it, their first private encounter. He had looked so intimidating but one word from him had been enough to see through appearances and see him for who he really was. A very gentle, down-to-earth man. It was scary, exposing oneself so easily from the get-go the way he did. He probably had nothing to hide, unlike him, his head riddled with deep dark secrets.

The smile turned into a wince as he sipped on his coffee. It had a foul taste that almost made him gag. It was overly bitter and disgustingly cold now. He set the cup back on the table and glanced around before letting his gaze fall back on his book.

What was the point ?

He had turned at least five pages or so without memorizing a single word. A long, weary sigh escaped his lips as he gave his undivided attention to the light tapping of the rain against the window.

He was so absorbed by the rainfall he slightly jumped when he felt a vibration tingling his thigh. He whipped out his phone and quickly relaxed. It was just Reiner.

Reiner - ****6:12 PM**** : _Hey Bertl ! Just wanted to let you know I’m omw. Gotta stop by the mall first to get salmon and cheese for dinner. Want me to get you anything ?_

Bertholdt - ****6:14 PM**** : _Good evening, Reiner. I don’t really need anything, thanks. I’ll get ready right away !_

Reiner - ****6:15 PM**** : _Aight_

Reiner - ****6:15 PM**** : _Oh btw, any allergies to food ? Don’t want my Bertl to get sick, you know ;)_

An amused smile lit up Bertholdt’s morose face as he headed to the bathroom.

Bertholdt - ****6:16 PM**** : _Not that I know of, don’t worry too much.^^_

Reiner - ****6:17 PM**** : _Good :)_

Reiner - ****6:17 PM**** : _Alright handsome. I’ll be at your place in 20 min or sth like that. See ya !_

Bertholdt - ****6:18 PM**** : _Perfect. See you in a minute ! :)_

  


Bertholdt beamed. Maybe it was a good thing he had accepted Reiner’s invitation, after all. He had been so used to being alone for Christmas the offer had taken him aback but now, being able to share a meal and communicate with new people, spending more time with Reiner, learning more about him... it felt exhilarating. Scary, but exhilarating.

That was why he had to spruce himself up before having dinner with Reiner’s mother. He took a bath, scrubbing his skin meticulously, then put on a camel coat over his favorite blue sweater, and finally sprayed himself with perfume. He was ready in no time at all.

Relief washed over him when he left the place.

He found himself in the hallway, observing the raindrops crash against the concrete while waiting. Reiner arrived ten minutes later.

From where he stood, Bertholdt could see he had parked at the same spot last Saturday. It was merely a few days ago, but Bertholdt couldn’t help feeling oddly nostalgic. When he took a moment to think about it, this was where everything had started between them.

With a light smile on his face, he opened his umbrella and headed out under the pouring rain. The air was ripe with a pleasant smell of petrichor. He rushed inside the car, meeting Reiner’s tender gaze. His blonde hair was flattened by the rain and looked smooth and fluffy. It somehow highlighted his handsomeness.

‘’Ugh, this fucking rain. Never expected this kind of shitty weather for Christmas,’’ Reiner said before leaning in for a kiss. ‘’You okay ? Damn, you look and smell incredible.’’

‘’Y-you think ? I did my best to look presentable in front of your mother,’’ Bertholdt said hesitantly. ‘’I hope it’s good enough. I-I’m kind of nervous, actually.’’

‘’What ?! So you mean to tell me you didn’t dress up just for me ? I’m disappointed, Bertl. Very disappointed,’’ Reiner said, taking mock offense.

Bertholdt grew distraught. ‘’N-no, it’s not like that ! Of course, I did want to look good for you too and--’’

‘’Relax, Bertl, I’m just teasing you,’’ Reiner chuckled while caressing Bertholdt’s cheek. The gesture made him blush lightly. ‘’I mean, I get where you’re coming from. I dropped by the house and... let’s just say she’s setting the bar really high for you.’’

‘’Really ? You’re only making me more anxious, Reiner,’’ Bertholdt replied, heaving a defeated sigh as he fastened his seatbelt.

‘’Hey, don’t worry about that. It’s gonna be fine,’’ Reiner reassured him, all the while revving up the engine and putting the car in reverse. ‘’She’s not going to eat you alive, you kn-- oh wait, she almost did when I came by earlier.’’

Bertholdt fidgeted nervously in his seat. ‘’Oh... What did you do ?’’

‘’Literally nothing ! I just wanted to get a taste of what she was cooking up and she forced me out of the house saying the kids were already a handful. Merry Christmas to me, I guess,’’ Reiner said with a hearty laugh.

‘’Well, what you did wasn’t very nice, you know ? She’s working really hard to make us dinner, after all.’’

‘’Yeah, I suppose you’re right,’’ Reiner said, stealing a mischievous glance at Bertholdt while driving. ‘’Hmm, I didn’t know you could be this sexy when you’re flustered. If only I’d known sooner, I would’ve driven you up the wall from the start.’’

‘’Wha- ? R-Reiner, stop saying things like that ! I-it’s not funny !’’ Bertholdt exclaimed, blushing profusely as Reiner started laughing at his expense.

Though he was mildly embarrassed and annoyed by the blonde’s constant playfulness, Bertholdt couldn’t help but join Reiner in the laughter. There was something about the sound of his infectious and endearing laugh, the way he kept glancing at him and the way he drove confidently that washed all his worries away and made him utterly happy, even though he kept reminding himself that such flashes were ephemeral.

The showering rain and the sight of numerous brake lights made Reiner slow down and sigh heavily as the traffic came to a complete stop. Bertholdt was surprised to notice that common nuisances such as traffic jams could alter his eternal happy-go-lucky mood. His sulking face was ridiculously cute.

Bertholdt then gazed outside the car window and started drumming his slender fingers on his thighs, joining the harmonious rhythm played by the rain.

Despite the unfortunate incident, he still felt a pressing need to play pieces and let the comforting sound of piano notes ease his mind. He wanted to tell Reiner all about it but didn’t want to distract him either, though he soon came back to his talkative self once he got past his annoyance. Reiner’s eyes shone with excitement when he talked about the good-natured Falco, and Gabi, whom he referred to as ‘a dynamo of a human being’.

Bertholdt couldn’t wait to meet them. He loved kids. They were mostly unproblematic and untroubled, unaware of the profound darkness cast by the adult world. He enjoyed their innocence, their boundless curiosity as well as the surprising words of wisdom they could often say. Those were some of the reasons why he wanted to become a teacher, in fact. If only he could go back to his childhood days, when complicated notions of identity and social conventions were the least of his worries and did not impact his life whatsoever.

Everything used to be so easy and bearable and--

No.

He couldn’t be - yet again - reminiscent about his past and the time when he started to loathe his very existence. After all, what had happened back then made him this unsure, diffident being he had turned into and it had dramatically influenced his life.

His parents... it was because of his parents and how their attitude towards him had seemingly changed overnight that made his life a daily struggle and his past a fragment of time he refused to acknowledge. But why was he still trying to reconnect with them, in that case ?

That was it. The negative thoughts he had desperately tried to suppress were flooding his brain once again. Why was he like this ?

_Bertholdt, Bertholdt, Bertholdt. It’s all your fault._

Who was calling him ? Where was he ? It was pitch black. His head hurt. Where was the light ? What--

‘’Bertl ? Hey, Bertl,’’ a deep voice repeated, startling him and causing him to gasp once it reached his ears. He looked around frantically, unaware of the light tapping on his upper arm as he tried to focus on his whereabouts before anything else. Where was he again ? Oh, that’s right. He was with Reiner, inside his car. They were parked in front of a rather large house. Once his eyes were adjusted to the change of scenery, he cocked his head to the side confusedly.

‘’Reiner ?’’ Bertholdt blinked. ‘’I’m sorry. You were... saying something ?’’

‘’Um, yeah... just that we’ve arrived,’’ Reiner replied with a frown and a hint of concern in his voice. His expression was just as confused. ‘’Are you all right ? You dozed off for, like, ten minutes and you kept moving in your sleep too.’’

Bertholdt nodded reassuringly.

‘’Um... yes, I’m fine. I’m sorry, it’s probably because I didn’t get enough sleep yesterday. But I feel well-rested now ! I think-- I think that short nap did some good. I’m sorry,’’ he added with a tired smile.

‘’Hey, it’s fine. You don’t need to apologize,’’ Reiner said, smiling back at him before gently rubbing his arm. ‘’Just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Anyway, ready to go inside ?’’

The brunette acquiesced with another nod and got out of the car, shuddering as cold raindrops made contact with his face. There was so much rain outside the muffled sound abruptly turned into a long whirring one. Reiner quickly went to open the trunk and get the food and gifts he had bought, then led Bertholdt to the house.

He rang the doorbell, knocked multiple times and after a whole minute, a frail woman appeared and looked at them smilingly.

‘’Ah, Reiner, there you are ! You took your own sweet time for just a couple of errands,’’ she said amusingly as she allowed them inside. Bertholdt stood in a corner and made himself inconspicuous, as always.

‘’Yeah, sorry about that. We got stuck in traffic for a little while, but hey, at least I didn’t come back empty-handed,’’ Reiner said, kissing her on the cheek then handing her the groceries. He then looked at Bertholdt fondly, clearing his throat. ‘’So, uh... Mom, this is--’’

‘’You must be Bertholdt, right ?’’ She asked cheerfully while looking in his direction. Bertholdt nodded timidly. She took a few steps closer, fixing her gaze on him. Bertholdt lowered his eyes demurely until she spoke again. ‘’Oh my, what a fine man you are !’’

Bertholdt’s eyes widened immensely, the blush searing through his cheeks getting redder as he heard Reiner laugh. He had expected anything... but that. And to think he had spent time rehearsing his introduction to the family and even imagined how dialogue with them could go. His expectations were certainly confounded.

‘’A-ah, um, th-thank you... Mrs Braun,’’ he said with a nervous giggle.

‘’Please, there’s no need for formalities. Karina will do, my dear. And-- oh my sweet boy, you are drenched !’’ She exclaimed with a hearty laugh, cupping his cheek unashamedly. Bertholdt turned scarlet, all the while trying not to lose his composure. He never expected her to be so tactile but as he cast a quick glance at Reiner to look for his help, everything suddenly made sense. ‘’Give me your coat and sit next to the fire, you’ll feel warmed up in no time !’’

‘’Thank you, Mrs Karina,’’ Bertholdt said awkwardly before doing as instructed, while she immediately went back to the stove with a satisfied smile.

He sat on the couch silently, facing the dancing flames of the fireplace and the dazzling lights of the Christmas tree, his senses quickly being drawn to the unique atmosphere pervading the house. There were well-tended plants and shelves scattered around the room and family pictures hung on the whitewashed walls, one of them being Reiner merrily holding a trophy. The goofy grin on his face elicited a smile from Bertholdt.

He then closed his eyes, taking in the scent of burning wood and steamed vegetables, the sound of lively small talk between Reiner and his mother as well as the distant voices of children bickering upstairs, one being louder than the other. A blissful sigh escaped his lips as he opened his eyes.

The house was rather homely, but gave off a special kind of warmth and radiated coziness. It couldn’t have been more different from _his_ place.

And he was so thankful for that.

He was getting so relaxed he slightly jerked in surprise when Reiner appeared behind him, kissing him on the cheek after carefully pulling a quilt over his shoulders.

‘’Does it help ?’’ Reiner asked, sitting next to him.

Bertholdt hummed contentedly in response.

‘’You have a beautiful house,’’ he added with a faint smile, hugging the blanket close to his body.

‘’Mmm, yeah... but just wait till you see my place,’’ Reiner said confidently, making Bertholdt frown and shake his head. ‘’Hey, don’t act like you’re tired of me already. I can see you smiling !’’

A happy, unrestrained laugh escaped Bertholdt’s lips as an amused frown creased Reiner’s forehead. He was funny without even trying. His laughter subsided when he saw Reiner giving him an insistent look, a flicker of amusement still crossing his face. He just had to look away.

They fell silent for a brief moment until the creaking of an opened door caught their attention.

‘’Aunt Karina ! Is Reiner back yet ?’’ A boisterous voice shouted.

‘’Yes, dear ! Living-room !’’

A second later, the thundering sound of footsteps walking down the wooden stairs echoed throughout the house and went on until they slowed down and made contact with the living-room floor. Bertholdt turned his head in anticipation and noticed two energetic, breathless kids. A smile came across his lips as he figured they had to be Gabi and Falco.

Gabi crossed her arms. ‘’Reiner ! Tell us you’ve got our presents, now.’’

‘’No need to threaten me, they’re right there,’’ Reiner replied, pointing at the wrapped boxes under the Christmas tree. The brown-haired girl instantly grew ecstatic. ‘’But you’ll have to wait till after dinner, remember ?’’

Falco looked at her. ‘’See ? What did I tell you ?’’

‘’Oh, come on. Does it really matter ?’’ She asked with a pout, before her gaze drifted to Bertholdt. ‘’You’re... with Reiner, right ?’’

Bertholdt nodded. ‘’That’s right. I’m--’’

‘’Bertholdt, yeah, I know. I’ve had time to memorize your name since Reiner just can’t shut up about you,’’ Gabi said, sticking out her tongue at Reiner.

‘’Um okay, did you really have to expose me like that ?’’ Reiner asked with a disapproving frown, earning a light chuckle from Bertholdt.

‘’I’m just saying the truth,’’ Gabi merely replied as she focused on the brunette once again. ‘’Anyway, my name’s Gabi and this is Falco. Just keep in mind I’m better than him at everything and we’ll be good.’’

‘’Yeah, yeah, if you say so,’’ Falco exhaled a defeated sigh then smiled to Bertholdt. ‘’It’s nice to meet you, Mr Bertholdt.’’

An endearing smile curved Bertholdt’s lips at the sight of the polite little man bowing to him. Strangely enough, he saw his young self in his twinkly, compassionate hazel eyes.

‘’It’s nice to meet you both. Reiner also told me a lot about you.’’

‘’What did he say? No wait, don’t tell me. That I was cute, strong and intelligent ? Was that it ?’’ Gabi asked, gesticulating vigorously. Bertholdt was overwhelmed by the considerable amount of energy she radiated.

Reiner yawned. ‘’M’yeah, something like that.’’

‘’Liar,’’ Gabi muttered. ‘’Well anyway, now that the introductions are done, we need to get back to our game. And I’m challenging you, Berturtle !’’

Bertholdt barely had any time to react to the ridiculous nickname - _how did she come up with it in the first place ?_ \- as Gabi grabbed him by the sleeve of his sweater and dragged him upstairs, as if she had known him forever. He could hear Reiner’s nasty guffaw while climbing up the stairs with the kids. Knowing him, Bertholdt could tell he wouldn’t hear the end of it.

The spunky girl kept pulling his sleeve excitedly until the three of them found themselves in the bedroom. Bertholdt’s eyes wandered around. Part of the room was messy and cluttered with bric-a-brac. There were two beds, one of which was unmade, as well as blue wallpaper that was peeled off in a few places and a shelf full of books, figurines and video games. Bertholdt was instantly caught up in profound nostalgia.

‘’We were playing Street Fighter before you got here. Do you know how to play, Mr Bertholdt ?’’ Falco asked respectfully.

‘’Oh yes, I played it before, actually’,’ Bertholdt said. ‘’And um... you can just call me Bertholdt, by the way.’’

‘’Okay, Bertholdt !’’

‘’Um, are you trying to make an ally out of him or something, Falco ?’’ Gabi asked teasingly. ‘’I know you lost all the games, but I didn’t know you’d be that desperate.’’

‘’N-no, that’s not it ! And yeah, I already know that. You don’t need to remind me,’’ Falco replied with mild frustration. 

‘’Hah ! So you admit I’m stronger, then ? About damn time !’’ Gabi sported a winning grin. It was practically the same as Reiner’s. ‘’I’ll take care of you later again, but for now, Bertholdt’s going to be my opponent.’’

Bertholdt raised his eyebrows. ‘’What ? I’m playing too ?’’

‘’Well yeah, that’s why I made you come here. Now sit,’’ Gabi ordered while sitting on her bed, motioning Bertholdt to sit on the edge of Falco’s bed and forcing a controller into his hands.

For a girl her age, she was rather commanding but the offer was quite tantalizing, nonetheless. It had been such a long time since he indulged himself with a nice gaming session. He missed the feeling of playing video games avidly, regardless of how much time he spent on them. It had never been perceived as an issue, considering his grades had always been outstanding.

After spending a few minutes on the character selection screen, trying to remember all the specific features and listening to Gabi vaunting her skills, the first battle was set. Though it was hard getting accustomed to the game commands again, he soon found his rhythm and managed to attack Gabi relentlessly with well-placed kicks that crippled her character. She didn’t have enough time to counterattack.

He won the first round without much trouble, in front of their astonished eyes. Gabi didn’t seem to understand what was going on, and Falco was particularly surprised to hear her asking for a rematch this time.

Bertholdt accepted it and won again.

Gabi scowled. ‘’I don’t get it. There must be something wrong with my joystick ! Mind if we switch our controllers, turtle ? I just wanna make sure, y’know ?’’

‘’Of course,’’ Bertholdt replied gently.

Reiner came into the room as they proceeded to the exchange. Bertholdt gave him a sheepish smile as he leaned against the doorway and watched him, seemingly surprised by the fact he had a controller in his hands.

The third round was undoubtedly the most heated as Gabi kept leaning on her sides, hoping the abrupt gestures would somehow secure her victory, but things were still not turning out in her favour.

Reiner laughed. ‘’Ouch. Where’s your skill, Gabi ? I thought you were the queen of fighting games.’’

‘’Gah, shut up, Reiner ! I can’t focus with you opening your damn mouth !’’ Gabi exclaimed, mashing all the buttons while Bertholdt remained cool and composed, even with Falco paying extreme attention to his finger movements. Naturally, the round ended much faster than the first ones. Seeing Bertholdt’s character strike a pose and hearing the victory theme had Gabi demoralized, and her lips soon formed a sulky pout. ‘’No way ! I thought I was unbeatable ! How... how are you so good ?’’

‘’Oh, uh... Well, I had this game a few years ago and I remember I used to spend hours in my room before...’’

A melancholy smile crossed his lips as he paused.

‘’Before ?’’

‘’N-nothing !’’ Bertholdt replied hastily. He then wore an apologetic smile. ‘’Anyhow, I think you have good moves, Gabi. But, um... you’re also too focused on offense that you forget about guarding sometimes. If you stay calm and anticipate the opponent’s moves, you’ll be unstoppable.’’

‘’Yeah, maybe you’re right. I guess I’ll have to train even harder...’’ Gabi hummed, her sad frown slowly turning into a grateful smile. ‘’You’re so badass, Bertholdt !’’

‘’W-what ? No, you were even b--’’

‘’Yeah, she’s right. You’re so cool, Bertholdt !’’ Falco beamed.

Bertholdt’s gaze drifted to Reiner, who gave him a frantic nod as confirmation. He was not really used to compliments but with the peace of mind he acquired coming here, he gladly accepted them.

‘’Thank you... guys,’’ he muttered with a smile.

The gaming session ended with perfect timing as Karina screamed dinner was ready. Gabi and Falco darted out of the room, leaving Bertholdt alone with Reiner.

‘’Wow, looks like they really adore you,’’ Reiner stated, taking a few steps closer. ‘’I can’t believe you got them in your pocket in less than half an hour-- no, wait, I can believe that.’’

‘’No, I don’t think so, Reiner,’’ Bertholdt replied with a chuckle and a dismissive wave of his hand.

‘’Oh yes they do, and they didn’t lie either. Seriously, is there anything you _actually_ can’t do ?’’ Reiner asked, putting a hand on his hip.

‘’Um, actually, yes. I can’t... whistle,’’ Bertholdt said timidly, forcing a soundless breath out of his mouth as he awkwardly puckered his lips. ‘’See ? I’ve tried many times, but it never works.’’

There was a slight pause before Reiner spoke.

‘’Oh my god, Bertl,’’ Reiner whispered dramatically.

‘’W-what ?’’

‘’Why can’t you stop being so damn adorable ?'’ Reiner emphasized every word with a mix of amusement and feigned annoyance as he lightly pinched Bertholdt’s cheeks.

‘’Come on, Reiner, stop that,’’ Bertholdt mumbled, his lips curving into an embarrassed smile.

Reiner stopped reluctantly and pecked him on the lips. ‘’Your fault for being so cute and handsome.’’

‘’I’m not, and you, um... just described yourself,’’ Bertholdt said, his cheeks growing slightly red.

Reiner unexpectedly blushed. ‘’Fine, I’ll take the compliment, but you are ! And moreso than I am, in fact.’’

‘’No, no, I can’t let you say that.’’

‘’Make me. You can’t refute universal truths, anyway.’’

‘’Oh, you’re so stubborn, Reiner,’’ Bertholdt surrendered with an exasperated sigh that made the blonde flash his trademark grin. ‘’Let’s just... go downstairs, okay ?’’

They merrily headed back to the living-room and marveled at the sight of the colorful, appetizing food set on the table. Bertholdt gladly sat next to Gabi after she told him she had saved a seat just for him.

His eyes scanned the whole table, unable to focus on one single dish. A warm tomato soup was set right in front of him, its creamy scent pleasantly invading his nostrils. A simple yet effective hot starter, Bertholdt thought.

The main courses placed in the middle of the table then drew his attention. There was a generous plateful of seasoned vegetables, scrumptious mac and cheese, baked salmon and turkey packed with herbs and spices. He recognized the subtle smell of thyme as it steamed quietly around the table, overpowering a pageant of peppery smells floating through the house. There was a bottle of champagne as well, but he decided he would just stick to water, as he always did.

Reiner whistled through his teeth, impressed. ‘’Wow, Mom... You always come through for Christmas, but you really outdid yourself this time around. Everything looks crazy good.’’

Gabi and Falco exchanged glances and beamed as they had made the same observation a moment ago.

‘’Thank you, son, but wait till the food’s in your mouth,’’ Karina said with a light laugh. ‘’Well, enjoy everyone !’’

Bertholdt brought a spoonful of tomato soup to his mouth and let the sweet liquid warm his insides, all under Karina’s watchful gaze.

‘’Do you need more herbs in your soup, Bertholdt ? Is it good enough ?’’ Karina asked, waiting expectantly for his answer.

‘’Oh, I think it’s fine the way it is, Karina. It has the perfect balance of sweetness and acidity, and the texture is delightfully creamy. It’s absolutely delectable !’’

Karina gazed at Reiner awestruck, then back at Bertholdt.

‘’Oh my, and I thought I had ruined it. Well, I am glad you appreciate it, you smooth-talking gentleman !’’

Bertholdt moved his gaze down to his soup then slowly raised his head, his lips curling into a sheepish smile as Reiner gave him a furtive wink. The room then fell silent for a brief moment, with only the tinkling of spoons resounding in the air.

‘’Um yeah, I agree with Bertholdt,’’ Falco broke the silence, his voice clumsily conveying refinement.

The sound of chortling filled the room.

‘’So, Bertholdt, how does it feel working with Reiner ? Surely it must be reassuring to have him around.’’

Reiner snorted. ‘’Mom, come on.’’

‘’You actually meant exhausting, Auntie, didn’t you ?’’ Gabi whispered.

‘’Hey ! I heard that, you little devil,’’ Reiner said with a harmless frown, making Gabi cover her big mouth.

Bertholdt chuckled. ‘’It is. He’s very perceptive and, um...he sometimes tries to relieve me of a few tasks when I start feeling overloaded with work. Perhaps too reassuring at times, now that I think about it.’’

A thankful smile crossed his lips while looking at Reiner, stunned by the gentle words. He automatically returned the smile.

‘’Oh, that’s my son all right. Always worried about the others before thinking about himself,’’ Karina replied, giving Reiner an affectionate smile. ‘’Well, I’m glad you two get along so well. You make such perfect boyfriends !’’

‘’Mom ! What did I tell you ?’’

‘’What ? What did I say ?’’

‘’Ah, just... forget it,’’ Reiner sighed, bringing his glass of water to his lips while glancing at Bertholdt, looking for some reaction underneath his raven hair.

Bertholdt was much too embarrassed to partake in the conversation and consequently decided to eat his food silently. A light tapping on his arm caught his attention.

‘’Hey, Bertholdt.’’

Bertholdt raised his eyebrows as he leaned toward the lively girl. ‘’Yes, Gabi ?’’

‘’Are you guys... gonna have babies together ?’’

Bertholdt’s eyes bugged out and color rapidly rose to his cheeks. He was certain his tomato soup couldn’t even compare. Things worsened as he watched Reiner on the verge of choking, water spurting out of his mouth in surprise.

‘’Gabi, what the fuck ?’’

‘’Reiner ! What did I say about the profanity in front of the kids ?’’ Karina scolded with a stern look.

‘’I-I didn’t want to say it, Reiner, but your mother is right. It’s... it’s terribly inappropriate language !’’ Bertholdt stuttered, painfully embarrassed by the whole scene.

Reiner stiffened automatically as he heard Bertholdt’s mild indignation.

‘’Yeah, okay, sorry... N-no need to gang up on me like that, though. And what kind of question is that, anyway ?’’

Gabi frowned. ‘’It was just a question.’’

‘’And a valid one, sweetie,’’ Karina said, before looking in Reiner’s direction. ‘’Please do. Nothing could make me happier than being a grandmother.’’

It was on that note the subject in question deflated, not without its couple of furtive glances and embarrassed throat clearing. The room fell quiet as they all reverted to eating the copious meal. The kids hurriedly stuffed themselves and saved room for a piece of fresh chocolate sponge cake. Bertholdt watched them with a smile as they sat down near the fireplace and switched the television on, finding satisfaction in late night cartoons.

His pale green eyes slowly drifted to the fire, crackling and dancing against the walls of the chimney. The sight became hypnotic as the orange flames clambered higher, as alive as he was. He felt himself slumping onto his chair as the warmth enveloped his body. He gradually felt tired, but it was a good kind of tired, one that enabled him to let his guard down and experience rare feelings of comfort and security.

‘’Would you like some dessert, Bertholdt ?’’ Karina asked gently, pulling him out of his daze.

‘’Thank you, Karina, but I am replete. I’m afraid I can’t partake in dessert.’’

‘’I won’t insist, then,’’ Karina said, her lips curving into a sly smile. ‘’My, you’re such a well-spoken man. What a nice change from all the uncouth men Reiner went out with.’’

Reiner huffed. ‘’We get it, mom.’’

‘’No, you don’t. Not with that bad mouth of yours. You could learn a thing or two from Bertholdt.’’

A blend of amusement and exasperation crossed his face, earning him an empathetic chuckle from Bertholdt.

‘’Okay,’’ Reiner muttered. ‘’By the way, Mom, what’s that... weird stone on the shelf ?’’

‘’Isn’t it lovely ?’’ She chirped. ‘’But I see you changing the subject, Reiner.’’

‘’Guess you got me,’’ Reiner said, feigning guilt. ‘’Anyway, where’d you get it ?’’

‘’Well, I got it during a late night art exhibition on impressionism. It was held at the museum last Sunday, and it was free so I decided to go and see some artworks for myself,’’ Karina replied with a twinkle in her eyes. ‘’Do you like art, Bertholdt ?’’

Bertholdt straightened himself up. ‘’O-oh, yes, I really do. I’m very fond of reading and playing music, and I love visiting museums. I could spend hours looking at frescoes and paintings in general.’’

‘’Why, that’s perfect ! We should go together for the next one, what do you say ?’’ Karina beamed.

‘’I would love to !’’ Bertholdt returned the smile while chancing a furtive glance at Reiner.

‘’Oh, it’s such a shame you missed the last one, though.’’

Reiner grew amused. ‘’Well, he couldn’t be there, Mom. We were at the plaza, remember ?’’

The smile remained on Bertholdt’s lips as he drank water from his glass, the blonde’s eyes fixed on him.

‘’I know, but they had a very distinguished guest of honor that night. A most charming man, really. We talked about a few artworks and he even gave me his card number and everything,’’ Karina said pridefully.

‘’Interesting.’’ Reiner’s eyes held a glint of humor. ‘’So who’s the lucky guy, then ?’’

‘’His name is Willy Tybur,’’ Karina chirped. ‘’Maybe you’ve heard of him, Bert--’’

For a fleeting moment, a deafening silence took over.

Bertholdt let out a shaky breath. His face trembled. He could feel blood rushing to his ears and sweat dripping off his temples. And then his heartbeat, dangerously loud and unbalanced. He became dizzy as the room seemed to be spinning around him. It took him a split second to feel his sense of space disappear. The world came back to him just as fast, allowing him to register the sound of his glass breaking down to a million little shards and four pair of eyes watching him with painfully startled expressions.

And then he heard Reiner, his voice laced with great concern.

‘’Are you okay, Bertholdt ?’’

The question had never sounded so torturous.

  



End file.
